I feel like a hypocrite

[HIkerSkier]

He actually offered me a discounted price after I said I can't afford it. I felt bad for wasting his time,so I just apologized,well,not that he had any customer tonight,his words.

Probably no one else i=on this site will agree with me on this, but I would say, if you are tempted to hire an "escort" for your first time, go ahead. You can trust that he will not have STDs, and he would be experienced in all kinds of sex. He could be a good teacher for a first time. Lots of guys have had pretty unpleasant first time experiences. If you do go this route (and it sounds like you don't want to, but only tempted) talk it out with him ahead of time to go over what he will be doing with you. For a long time (at least 100 years) lots of straight young men got their first time experiences from experienced (female) prostitutes.

[East]

Probably no one else i=on this site will agree with me on this, but I would say, if you are tempted to hire an "escort" for your first pretty unpleasant first time experiences. If you do go this route (and it sounds like you don't want to, but only tempted) talk it out with him ahead of time to go over what he will be doing with you. For a long time (at least 100 years) lots of straight young men got their first time experiences from experienced (female) prostitutes.

I actually do agree with you....it is a great idea.

[Uneunsae]

I wish I had the stones to do something like that.

[Bluelight]

What's wrong with giving in to lust? That is, as long as you're being safe about it. But you did mention that you'd rather lose your virginity to someone special... well, to be honest, you might have to wait a while, unless you get lucky. Anyone living in this world of superficiality and social media would be lucky to find love at any given time, especially if they're gay.

[Camfer]

Le sigh. Why do gay people have to think in such heteronormative terms? Honestly, I wished that every single one of my boyfriends had more sexual experience before I met them. Good sex is a skill set that is learned. With all the communications technology available to you today, if you're single you could be learning so much if you wanted to learn it!

[Anonymous]

I got off track there...sorry....

I actually love the idea of using each other. It is completely honest and that is the appeal for me. A lot of people will use you but pretend it is about something else....either lying to you or lying to themselves.

I used to like the guys who wanted to use me for sex...it was mutual. I love things to be what they are.

As for monogamy with one guy....it is actually easy for me because I don't have a lot of things I held myself back from doing...I did what I wanted. I don't think I have a suppressed bone in my body:biggrin: ...and so being a slut actually made it easier for me to be monogamous...

Owh,I see. That's an interesting way of seeing it. But what about those freedom that you enjoyed before you were committed? Don't you miss it now? :confused:

I have a slut deep within. LOL In my fantasies.

Be kind to your inner slut...and he will be kind to you

I think I have this slutty side sleeping within me too. But because I don't want to be judged by my friends,I'm locking it away,lol. Maybe I should try to embrace the way of sluttiness,LOL. :biggrin:

I don't know if you aren't a bit young to be using an escort. I don't know you, nor your circumstances, so I'm not judging, but surely there is a way you could contact like-minded guys whose hormones are just as raging as yours?

Don't be too afraid of STDs : keep yourself clean, have the right shots, (like the one for hepatitis), and have some condoms at the ready. You can always, since you're a virgin, keep within the boundaries of safer sex, and do some hand stuff, and skin stuff, none of which should be dangerous.

What the escort might teach you is a few basics about how to keep it healthy. But then again, you've got all your friends on GaySpeak, who are ready to advise you.
Take care.

I'm in my early 20s. The only way that I know of is by dating apps. I'm living in a non-gay-friendly country,so everybody is pretty discreet here. I suppose I could just do that, but for oral sex,I've read that even pre-cum has a risk of transmitting HIV. Sucking a dick with condom might be the only safe-proof way,but it is a bit off putting even to me.

Probably no one else i=on this site will agree with me on this, but I would say, if you are tempted to hire an "escort" for your first time, go ahead. You can trust that he will not have STDs, and he would be experienced in all kinds of sex. He could be a good teacher for a first time. Lots of guys have had pretty unpleasant first time experiences. If you do go this route (and it sounds like you don't want to, but only tempted) talk it out with him ahead of time to go over what he will be doing with you. For a long time (at least 100 years) lots of straight young men got their first time experiences from experienced (female) prostitutes.

This is a totally new insight. Now I'm seeing there's nothing wrong with losing virginity to prostitute,but yeah,I'm just tempted to,I still want my first time to be special. Maybe I could make just my first anal to be special instead? :tongue:

What's wrong with giving in to lust? That is, as long as you're being safe about it. But you did mention that you'd rather lose your virginity to someone special... well, to be honest, you might have to wait a while, unless you get lucky. Anyone living in this world of superficiality and social media would be lucky to find love at any given time, especially if they're gay.

That's the problem,cause sometimes I'm tired of waiting. Now I'm thinking of just keeping anal virginity to someone special,hmm.

Le sigh. Why do gay people have to think in such heteronormative terms? Honestly, I wished that every single one of my boyfriends had more sexual experience before I met them. Good sex is a skill set that is learned. With all the communications technology available to you today, if you're single you could be learning so much if you wanted to learn it!

I guess cause I was raised in such environment? But you have lots of good points worth thinking.

Thanks for all the replies.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I feel like I'd be better at just having sex, but I really need that connection so I can't do it. Maybe a FWB, but not anything else. Once I have sex with a man, I fall in love.
---
My first time was with a guy a friend introduced me to. At the time, I just wanted to have sex. I regret that decision and I don't like to think about my first time. But there are other men who would have been happy with that arrangement, so if your gut is telling you that you don't want to do it with a stranger, then don't. Just be patient and wait. It doesn't have to be a boyfriend. Maybe you'll meet a friend who also wants to explore and you can do it safely together and lovingly amongst friends.

That's the kind of relationships I'd like now, actually. LOL

Forgot about this part. I've considered FWB actually,I think if I have any connection with a guy,the chance to fall in love (or infatuation) is pretty high. Maybe this FWB should have some deal breakers so that I won't fall for him. Thoughts?

[50Plus]

Except for receiving a blow job in an adult movie booth, my first experience with another man was with a transvestite escort which I chose on purpose.

The experience? Less than satisfying. (Although feeling another man's cock grow in my mouth is a memory I will never forget.) The reason it was so unfulfilling is that the individual was stoned on coke or painkillers so was not that much in to it. I got a hand job and nothing else.

I also believe that what I really wanted was more than sex. I wanted that feeling of being romantic with someone. Unfortunately it is so easy to confuse sex with romance - and I was 40 at the time.

So the question I have for the OP, is whether you want the romance or the sex? Explore that question and it will help you answer your question on hypocrisy. Good luck.

jb

[Uneunsae]

Yeah, exactly. I want the romance AND hot sex. So I know the personally a hookup would not work.

As for the FWB, I never experienced it so I can't tell you what rules should be there.

[princealbertofb]

LOL...I don't think you have it in you PA...but if you ever want to live vicariously through me...just give me a holler

Isn't that just what I've been doing, Eastie???