Do you think a homophobic but decent parent is acceptable?

[EsnesNommoc]

There has been quite some news involved LGBT in our country lately. Right now people are still arguing about the whole thing.
So I want to know what you guys, a.k.a the better side think.
Reporters had an interview with a famous guy's dad. There's a lot of rumors that the famous guy is gay, due to his attitude, personality and clothing style (not exactly feminine, but kind of ''glittery cuteness'').
The interview went quite well, but when it came to those rumors, he said:
''I find my son easily to be influenced with alcohol and especially sexuality problem. My son is not gay. I always told him ''If you are gay, get out of the house. There'll be no father and son anymore.'' He took that very well.
Everyone wants their kid to be a decent adult, not gay or les. Me too, I will never accept and believe he has problem with his sexuality. Everyday, I told him ''Before he does something, hangs out with anyone or drinks something, you must think of your parents. We worked very hard for you to become a man, don't let us down.''
He doesn't have a sexuality problem. I know my son's not gay ever since he was born. Ever since he was young, he lives clean, he wears tidy clothes, he's decent and has never hit on anyone. He may looks tacky, but his soul is wonderful.''
Yeah, that's basically the statement. I just go for the comments, and I have to say this article attracts the most Internet homophobes I have ever seen.
They're reactions are like this (the top comment ones):
1. ''He's an experienced adult, so all you gays'd better respect him.'' - It sounds worse, but I wouldn't want to fully translate it.
2. ''He talks about his son, not about you gay people.''
3. ''No one wants their kid to be gay, and so is he. It's natural!'' - I thought parents want their kids to be happy (wordplay totally intended).
4. ''He's from old times, you teens are new times, so don't criticize and insult him even if he isn't open-minded about sexuality problems.'' Basically a mix between 1 and 3.
5. ''Everyone, he said that he knows his son is not gay. How could a parent not know their children's sexuality? He's just worried that his son will turn gay. I hate people who turn gay myself.'' These are the most common ones.
6. Our comment system is horrible. A person with a nickname which is basically ''MY FATHER **** ME'' (ouviously a troll account) has registered for months. He made a statement ''If your son is gay, kick him right out.'' got over 40 likes (basically a top comment, but was surpassed). And I thought ''Is everyone blind? Look at the nickname!''
So I want to know what you guys - the better side think about this. He seems like a really nice father through the interview, except that part.
Oh, and sorry if the title is a bit misleading.

[Ammon]

A homophobic person is never a decent person.. Someone who hates another person for being who they are, is pure scum.. No matter if that someone is a parent.

A decent person to me is someone who is respectful to others.. Homophobic people can't be respectful if they hate your whole being..

[ChadCoxRox]

Hating haters is an interesting concept. Where's the decency in the hate?

Homophobia is about fear. Hatred is a secondary emotion designed to mask or protect from the truth of fear.

When I, as an gay man, try to talk to people, especially LGBT people, about my own history of homophobia in an attempt to disarm the subject and open up dialogue it often results in a display of anger and hatred just as indecent as that of the homophobia itself. Of course, not always, but more often than not.

[HumbleTangerine]

My parents have been wonderful in most regards. Supportive and loving but also homophobic. At 18 I can easily handle homophobia, but when you hear your parents say nasty things about homosexuals at 11 when you're just starting to discover your sexuality it's like being stabbed with a knife. So no, homophobic parents are not good or even acceptable parents. It's one thing if they manage to change their attitudes once their child comes out as gay; in many cases homophobia is simply ignorance. But if, as time passes, they still can't bring themselves to accept their gay child, in the end, they're pretty terrible parents.

[bluefox4000]

My dad doesn't really want to talk about it.....so we just don't. he supports me in every other way though. Doesn't bother me. We just don't talk about it. I find it better then this tactic that some use......No dad we HAVE TO.

Mick

[meninlove]

Hating haters is an interesting concept. Where's the decency in the hate?

Homophobia is about fear. Hatred is a secondary emotion designed to mask or protect from the truth of fear.

When I, as an gay man, try to talk to people, especially LGBT people, about my own history of homophobia in an attempt to disarm the subject and open up dialogue it often results in a display of anger and hatred just as indecent as that of the homophobia itself. Of course, not always, but more often than not.

I've never been fond of the word homophobia in all cases. I have always thought of it as homobigotry when it's plainly not fear driven. As an example, I have arachnophobia, but I don't hate spiders. They're absolutely necessary in keeping the flies and mosquitoes down. However, I do have cockroachbigotry. I'd kill the suckers whenever I saw one. Same with leeches.

[matty7]

if parents are homophobic or anyone for that matter - I don't really blame them , I probably blame their upbringing (you repeat what you have been taught) I blame fear of something you don't understand, I blame religion more than anything (the bible is a licence to kill for hateful people) many more reasons too but the individual has the power to change if they want, or carry on like a sheep been easily led,

in the true life movie Prayers for Bobby a son kills himself because of his mothers religious beliefs about homosexuality basically - she became an activist for lgbt rights once she got to meet his friends and a priest who explained the bible hate passages better - the Uk has laws protecting gay people and im sure in the future no matter how far away Viet Nam will eventually start to go that way too, just don't hold your breath right now though

[TwisttheLeaf]

My father was homophobic. A very traditional Korean immigrant who essentially worked to shame me into heterosexuality on a daily basis throughout my life until the day he passed a few years ago. He made it very clear he was ashamed of me, and did a good deal of verbal and emotional abuse, including encouraging the rest of our extended family to act the same (which they did).

Homophobic/Homobigot tendencies are damaging. They are DAMAGING to their children if those children have homosexual or bisexual leanings. Intentionally damaging them.

Intentional DAMAGE means they are NOT a good parent. Every abuser has redeeming qualities, it doesn't make them any less an abuser.

[Uneunsae]

^

I was also shamed by traditional parents.

So, I am not a parent, but I am pretty sure that I know that if I had a child, I would love them no matter what. If they told me something that made me angry or afraid, I would do my best to understand where they are coming from. I wouldn't try to live vicariously through them or assume what's best for me is best for them.

If my parents had loved me, I wouldn't be suffering so much every day. Trauma has created so much pain I am constantly having to work through and overcome.

I don't think it's too much to ask.

So many excuses and justifications are made for people who treat other people wrongly; especially parents. I feel that parents are afraid of condemning other parents because they are afraid of seeing the hypocrisy in themselves and the wrong things they do to their own children. So people have even blamed me for the abuse I received! Absurd...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think that "fear/hatred" of homosexuality is just a convenient way for one person to puff themselves up and make themselves better than someone else.

Look at the those comments, it is clear that in the minds of those opposed to gays that: Straight is Good, Gay is Bad.

Expanding to other groups being hated there is always the implied to down right bluntly stated that X is evil/bad and We are Good.

Blacks are lazy, Jews are money grubbers, Gays are perverts... Every group that is hated has their special negative qualities that just about everyone knows.

Gay is a special sort of thing to hate. Unlike race, which is clear to see and we can't just accuse anyone of being say black, we can accuse anyone of being gay and we can come up with supporting evidence like 'he dresses a little too nicely, that means he is gay.'

I suspect that those who find tolerance and acceptance of others more easily have come to terms with the fact that they are not themselves very special, or better than everyone else. They don't need to make themselves appear better than anyone else.

The notion of disowning your kid because s/he is gay is reflective of the idea that I must be better than, thus my very own flesh and blood must be better than....

No amount of reason is going to change the minds of those who hate, because they do not want to be forced to see themselves as potentially less than, or even equal to anyone else.

Hating your own kid over something your kid has no real control over is a form of abuse. It harms the mind and heart of a kid when their own parent reminds them that the kid is less than for being _________(fill in the blank).

There are a lot of men and women who are stuck in the closet simply because their parents have made it clear that homosexuality is intolerable. No one wants their parent(s) to hate them.

I fail to see how making your kid feel less than, and unloved and unwanted and downright hated is good parenting.

I fail to see how instilling hatred of others in ones kid is giving the kid an advantage or will make the kid a better person. From what I have seen, most bigots are miserable in their life.

So should known bigots be allowed to have kids. No.

But then I don't see parenthood as a right, I view it as a privilege that should be earned by demonstrating that one has the combination of right stuff to mentor and raise as healthy of a human being as possible. Children should be loved, and feel safe. Hatred doesn't make anyone feel loved or safe.