Struggling with dates and being with others

[Gaylonelyman]

I enjoy others I enjoying meeting ppl but I am struggling with seeing guys for long term I recently dumped a guy he was a liar am I loser for picking losers???? I am sad and after the heartbreak got back on the wagon again it's struggle day after day finding the right guy there is 10% of looks that playa role in my decision but every guy been with are judgemental I like someone just the opposite friendly non judgemental and great personality who likes to have fun but be in a serious relationship do I give up on love I even willing to travel to meet a guy long distance so what do I need to do to make sure I'm not picking losers but rather awesome personable men????

Any help would be grateful

[Iceblink]

Didn't you say recently you just came out like a year ago? Dating is difficult and gay dating even more so. Give it time. Unfortunately, you sometimes have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Learn to recognize when something is not going to work out with someone so you don't get stuck in the trap of being in a relationship that is not good just because you much want to be in one. You might miss the prince while you're wasting your time in a relationship going nowhere.

[Virge]

.....................................................................relationship do I give up on love I even willing to travel to meet a guy long distance so what do I need to do to make sure I'm not picking losers but rather awesome personable men????

Any help would be grateful

Here's emergency help. Instructions on how to construct simple sentences in English.
http://www.english-language-grammar-guid...cture.html

[Gaylonelyman]

Ty I guess your right take my time but also I feel like I can't tell anyone about my major I feel it might scare them away but I guess I am more desperate than need right now other hand I would like to have trust faith and happiness I'm 33 and I just need to be happy which is important to me but if not a love relationship but a long term partnership like living together Thanks iceblink

[TwisttheLeaf]

Didn't you say recently you just came out like a year ago? Dating is difficult and gay dating even more so. Give it time. Unfortunately, you sometimes have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Learn to recognize when something is not going to work out with someone so you don't get stuck in the trap of being in a relationship that is not good just because you much want to be in one. You might miss the prince while you're wasting your time in a relationship going nowhere.

^^
excellent advice

In dating, it's the 'weeding' that's the hardest part. Especially if you -want- to be in a relationship. A lot of people see trouble, issues that they wouldn't normally accept, and choose to overlook them because they're desperate to find a partner. All overlooking such things does is put you with the -wrong- partner and, in the end, makes you even more miserable than you were when you were alone.

Weed carefully, and you'll eventually find the partner you seek.

[saif1232]

You are desperate right now, worst time to find someone as you are young and still have time to meet someone, being desperate can lead to being in a relationship that wouldnt want to be in when you arent desperate, that'll make you feel more miserable as said above, however, THIS ALL STEMS FROM YOU BEING LONELY. Therefore I suggest you learn to be happy with yourself being alone/single, and then it'll be easier to find someone less judgemental since you would be less accepting of those you would date due to desperation, and would be able to find someone who is better for you.

[Virge]

There's an entire literature sub-industry on this subject...........




If you are not the person YOU want to spend your life with don't be disappointed if no one else wants to do it either.

Become the person YOU want to spend the rest of your life with and there won't be any shortage of people trying to do it with you.

[dynamodean]

I think you're just placing too much pressure on yourself. You may not be able to find Mr. Right right away...give it time. Don't hold yourself back or try to change your tastes too much, cuz then you wouldn't be yourself anymore. You will find good guys that have the qualities and characteristics that you like...and they won't all turn out to be losers.

Don't let a few bad apples spoil the whole dating barrel.

Chin up, buddy!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well...

Lets look at a bit of reality and some research:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/higher-risk-...ls/0006527

That link will tell you what gays are prone to, and that gays are more prone for insanities - which we are not allowed to call them 'crazy' so we just have to say 'mental/emotional health issues'.

That article, should you choose to read it, tells you WHY gays are nucking futs - all of that discrimination leaves an impact.

Not enough information? Then try this one as well: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2072932/

In case you just flat refuse to click links and read, I will try to summarize:

Many, if not most, gay males have suffered persecution, which is a form of torture, that leads to behavioral changes and mental health issues which means that you are most likely NOT going to find a gay man without some sort of personality issue, or what I like to call 'defects of character'.

So the choice here is not finding Mr. Almost Perfect, the choice is to decide which disorders/personality issues/defects of character that you can live with.

Awesome personable people do not exist. No seriously, that is a mask people wear in public. At home, with their spouse or SO once they become comfortable with that person they take off the mask and the real human being comes out and plays.

People are mean, tired, grumpy, assholes, dicks, nose pickers and a whole lot of other things in the comfort of their own home. So don't expect to find a person who is able to play the Awesome Personable Character 24/7/365.

Paxil People do exist, they are all smiles and creepy shit like that... But its the paxil not them....

[Bluelight]

Just want to reaffirm what Saif said, being desperate is bad. It's better to just figure out how to be happy being alone, just because you're single doesn't mean you always have to feel lonely. I mean yeah, I'll admit that I feel lonely sometimes, but not like I used to when I was desperate, and during that time I was absolutely miserable and I felt like a failure. Don't do that to yourself, it's not worth it.

Also like what Bowyn said about personality, it's so true. I used to idolize my crushes before I realized that they're just as fucked up as I am hehe