confused by my ex boyfriends actions
07-18-2016, 10:46 PM
The first section is the back story, second section is the part pertaining to my question....
Ok, so this is my first time posting on here. Basically me and my ex were together over 4 years, we moved out together 3 months after meeting, he even proposed to me 5 months after meeting on his birthday (we didn't get married however as I thought it was too sone) I ended up becoming a jacka$$ to him with time as I was going through work/family issues and 1 year and 8 months after meeting he dumped me. The way I treated him I figured he was gone for good. We never went on trips, I never bought him any gifts even though he always treated me to nice things. We also fought about money often. Well for the first 3 months after the breakup we still remained in contact and even would hangout until one night we were going out and he started crying on the drive, told me he couldn't do it anymore that he has started talking to another guy and he turned the car around and sent me on my way. For the next 6 weeks we would have no contact until I went out to a bar, saw him in the parking lot drunk in his car, I knocked on the window and he drove off only to get a DUI down the road. Well 2 days later he contacted me, we hung out the following week and got back together. Long story short, we went on the last 2 years and everything was way better, we went places and did things. I spent $1000s on gifts for him as did he for me and we were finally going on trips.
Now fast forward to may 2016 right after my birthday things were not so great anymore. He would complain I was never happy, I wasn't affectionate enough anymore, and the sex was lacking. (we were no longer living on our own and I would only spend weekends at his dads house with him) I had became addicted to porn during the week and it would effect our weekends. Well, after many warnings and him catching me looking at other guys while in public while with him, he dumped me again. A week later I ran into him in a gay bar (same one he got his DUI from, only this time he didn't go alone but with a friend). He seemed excited to see me, jumped out of the seat and hugged me, we told each other we missed each other and loved each other, spent the whole night together with his friend and at the end of the night I asked him if I could see him again to which he replied "I'll let you know" the next 5 weeks I have not heard from him once. 37 days into the NC I decided to text him to tell him the new picture he posted on FB was cute. He actually replied saying...
Me: Nice pic
Him: thank you, how you been
Me: Good (we talk about our jobs and families)
Me: I hope we can remain in contact, I don't want you to hate me you have done so much to make me a better man
Him:
I don't hate you never will and thank you. I will be here when you need me
Me: Do you ever think there would be a chance of us getting back together
Him: You have not met any boys you like?
Me: I have met guys, but no one makes me feel anywhere near how you make me feel.
Him: Awww really ! yeah I miss you too
Me: have you met any boys you like?
Him: people talk for about a week than they disappear
Me: If you would like to come out with me some night I will treat for dinner and drinks at (his favorite bar) we can drink, talk and dance
Him: I'll let you know and thank you very much
Me: Cool, and no pressure. you're welcome
Than no more texts. 3 hours later he poked me on Facebook (something we used to do all the time when we were together, and that had ended after the breakup)
Now 1 week later I have received no further communication what so ever!
Does anyone have any ideas why he always seems so warm to me when we meet or I initiate contact, than ends with a "I'll let you know"
He did say he would need a few months after the breakup, he said if he took me back sooner I would take him as a joke. He even said to come over (he changed his mind) the day after he broke up with me, just to say no he needs to do this. Than the next day asks me to come over followed by a "I just can't right now, give it a few months."
I am so confused, does anyone have any ideas of what may be going on in his mind?
Ok, so this is my first time posting on here. Basically me and my ex were together over 4 years, we moved out together 3 months after meeting, he even proposed to me 5 months after meeting on his birthday (we didn't get married however as I thought it was too sone) I ended up becoming a jacka$$ to him with time as I was going through work/family issues and 1 year and 8 months after meeting he dumped me. The way I treated him I figured he was gone for good. We never went on trips, I never bought him any gifts even though he always treated me to nice things. We also fought about money often. Well for the first 3 months after the breakup we still remained in contact and even would hangout until one night we were going out and he started crying on the drive, told me he couldn't do it anymore that he has started talking to another guy and he turned the car around and sent me on my way. For the next 6 weeks we would have no contact until I went out to a bar, saw him in the parking lot drunk in his car, I knocked on the window and he drove off only to get a DUI down the road. Well 2 days later he contacted me, we hung out the following week and got back together. Long story short, we went on the last 2 years and everything was way better, we went places and did things. I spent $1000s on gifts for him as did he for me and we were finally going on trips.
Now fast forward to may 2016 right after my birthday things were not so great anymore. He would complain I was never happy, I wasn't affectionate enough anymore, and the sex was lacking. (we were no longer living on our own and I would only spend weekends at his dads house with him) I had became addicted to porn during the week and it would effect our weekends. Well, after many warnings and him catching me looking at other guys while in public while with him, he dumped me again. A week later I ran into him in a gay bar (same one he got his DUI from, only this time he didn't go alone but with a friend). He seemed excited to see me, jumped out of the seat and hugged me, we told each other we missed each other and loved each other, spent the whole night together with his friend and at the end of the night I asked him if I could see him again to which he replied "I'll let you know" the next 5 weeks I have not heard from him once. 37 days into the NC I decided to text him to tell him the new picture he posted on FB was cute. He actually replied saying...
Me: Nice pic
Him: thank you, how you been
Me: Good (we talk about our jobs and families)
Me: I hope we can remain in contact, I don't want you to hate me you have done so much to make me a better man
Him:
I don't hate you never will and thank you. I will be here when you need meMe: Do you ever think there would be a chance of us getting back together
Him: You have not met any boys you like?
Me: I have met guys, but no one makes me feel anywhere near how you make me feel.
Him: Awww really !
yeah I miss you tooMe: have you met any boys you like?
Him: people talk for about a week than they disappear
Me: If you would like to come out with me some night I will treat for dinner and drinks at (his favorite bar) we can drink, talk and dance
Him: I'll let you know and thank you very much
Me: Cool, and no pressure. you're welcome
Than no more texts. 3 hours later he poked me on Facebook (something we used to do all the time when we were together, and that had ended after the breakup)
Now 1 week later I have received no further communication what so ever!
Does anyone have any ideas why he always seems so warm to me when we meet or I initiate contact, than ends with a "I'll let you know"
He did say he would need a few months after the breakup, he said if he took me back sooner I would take him as a joke. He even said to come over (he changed his mind) the day after he broke up with me, just to say no he needs to do this. Than the next day asks me to come over followed by a "I just can't right now, give it a few months."
I am so confused, does anyone have any ideas of what may be going on in his mind?
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