Confused

[Cridders88]

Sorry to hear things have faded a bit after starting off so well Wolfy. Perhaps give it a little time, give him the benefit of the doubt, but if a week or more goes and no change, then I'd ask him what he wants. It's not fair him leaving you hanging for ever.

[trywait]

sadly some guys are like that. totally silent and no response whatsoever....then u have no other option except to move on.

[MikeW]

...so how have I gone from red hot to cold ?...

This seems to be one of the mysteries of dating. I see guys talking about this hot/cold into me / not into me phenomena a lot. I *think* it has to do with guys not knowing themselves. Not knowing what they really want. Worse, not being able to be honest with someone they DO like, at least a little.

For example, some guys (I'm one of them) suffer from mood swings. When I'm on and feeling up and good I can be very sociable. But then something happens (or nothing happens) and I swing back in the other direction. I don't want to talk w/ anyone. I don't want to explain myself. Hell, I can't even. I just need to have my space. Now... anyone I'm dating is going to have a hard time with this. Even if I say, "Sorry I need some space. Don't take it personal. It's just the way I am..." there are a lot of guys who won't take well to that confession. So maybe I don't say exactly what's going on. Maybe I make up some stupid excuse because I don't trust they can handle the truth. Just yet anyway.

So that is one kind of thing that happens. But there are many others. Maybe he met someone else? Maybe an ex he wasn't really over contacted him. Maybe his dog died. Who the fuck knows.

But I do agree it sucks to be on the receiving end of such unconscionable behavior.

[Bookworm]

Hi Wolfie, something has clearly happened to change his attitude here, and I hope he gives you the courtesy of an explanation at some point otherwise its just a guessing game unfortunately.

Its possible that something has come up that is taking up all his time and attention, such as a family emergency or something of that nature, but you would think he could still at least let you in on what is happening given how he seemed really into you previously, and wanting to include you in his life.

I'd leave it up to him to make further contact at this point as you've already reached out, but don't wait around too long, you deserve someone with more respect and understanding. Keep your spirits up, you've done nothing wrong here. His loss at the end of the day

[matty7]

im going to be opposite to pretty much everyone else here - don't panic or overthink things because of lack of text messages for 2 days or using a pet name in previous short text mate, you said he works 12 hour shifts and I know from doing them myself that they can really drain your mind as well as your body and sometimes all I want to do is wind down with little interruption as im so tired, if I get texts or phone calls my answers can be very short too as I just want to chill out - all im saying is just don't jump to the worst case scenario just yet, there can be many reasons for lack of contact and not just one where he has found another guy in the last few days...that does seem a little quick don't you think ? I know you must not feel great right now but give him another couple of days to explain himself first - good luck and a big hug anyway mate

[princealbertofb]

I'd go with Matty here. There's probably something difficult he has to deal with at the moment, and so you've got to be a little patient.
Other than that, I'm going to say that maybe he is a bit bi-polar and some days he'll be all over you, the next he'll be feeling totally depressed. But it could also just be a family or work situation.

[JackTX]

You went on a couple of dates and you're already "planning for the future"... ? You have to base a long-term relationship on a lot more than that. Even if there were lots of texts in between, texts don't make a relationship. They're like virtual contact.

Come on down to earth, man. I'm sorry you got so invested in it but I don't see much here that's concrete. In my experience, you cannot even accurately judge a relationship for like 4-6 weeks, until AFTER the honeymoon phase is over and the initial excitement fades. There's too much cloudiness before that point.

Bottom line: if he stopped responding it's a one way street. You know what to do.

[Insertnamehere]

Wait for a bit.....for now the benefit of the doubt is in order. If he's really interested and if he wants this to happen he will talk again. You're doing well in not texting him further, you already expressed your interest in him and your concern, that is key.

This is just starting and you still need to know each other more

If, however, more time goes by and he doesn't send a signal...

*sigh* then you'll be welcome to the club.

"He just stopped talking to me, never heard from him again, he said he liked me...yada yada yada", and of course you're just supposed to take it and keep living your life. He gets to treat you like crap and you are not allowed to complain, cause shit happens man.

I wish this isn't the case and that he really is just busy and tired. I hope deeply that he will contact you again

But, if it doesn't go well, we'll be waiting here with booz and a