Younger boyfriend wants me to come with him om spring break; I'm not sure.

[Evan]

My boyfriend will be going to Spain for spring break next year with 6 friends. (One of his friends' parents have more than enough money and are paying for the whole trip as an early graduation present.) I'm very excited for him, I'm sure he'll have a blast. However, yesterday he asked me to come with them. Apparently two of his friends are bringing their girlfriends and now he really wants for me to come too.

The thing is, I'm not sure if I want to. As some of you may know, my boyfriend is a lot younger than me (17.. 18 by the time it's spring break). As much as I'd love to go to Spain with him, I don't know if I'm very enthusiastic about going on spring break with a group of 18 year olds who, to add, for the first time in their lives will be legally allowed to drink alcohol (18 is legal age in Europe). I can just imagine the kind of trip this is gonna be.

I'm perfectly fine with my boyfriend going, of course: if anything I'm glad he's doing the things he should be doing right now, instead of just clinging to me. I just don't know if it's really for me. I can already see myself carrying their drunk asses home (I know for a fact they're planning on partying a lot), not to mention all the high school drama that will undoubtedly take place with two guys bringing their girlfriends on a trip like this one.

(Then there's also the fact that I'm not comfortable with people I don't even know paying such a massive amount of money for me.)

I told my boyfriend I didn't think it was a good idea for me to come with them, but he reacted offended and said he thought it was weird for someone to decline an offer to go to Europe with their boyfriend for free. I though about that and figured maybe he does have a point.

What do you guys (or girls) think? Am I weird for not being too enthusiastic about this opportunity? Or would you at least be a little hesitant too..

Any words of wisdom?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have a good excuse to decline travel. I have an irrational fear of planes falling from the sky... Well I guess its not THAT irrational considering the more recent losses of planes in the news.... And to make matters worse, not its not just plane accidents, but there are people who intentionally - me stress this again - INTENTIONALLY - fly planes into buildings.

Now that is a good reason to decline going to Europe....

Your excuses are kinda odd. Seems like you are trying real hard to decline here and are essentially straw grasping.

BTW if 7 years difference is so huge to prevent you from travel with him, perhaps you need to seriously reconsider this whole relationship thing.

Look at it from his POV. HE could just go off by himself, and that opens the door to drunken orgies and hooking up with hot Greek guys, or French guys or... well any nationality is pretty hot if you think about it... No, he doesn't want to spend spring break alone and with just anyone, it wants to spend it with YOU.

This kid loves you, and wants to be with you, he wants to share his life experiences with you. That is a good thing... your stomping on it and declining is going to ultimately lead to his pursing his own life all on his own - without you.

I'm highly suspicious of free gifts from strangers... However when it comes to a person I'm in a relationship with I do make exceptions and accept more gifts - depends on the over all experience and if the guy I'm with has a habit of trying to buy my love. Does your BF have a habit of trying to buy your love?

If yes, then be suspicious, if no then don't look the gift horse in the mouth too hard.

When the parents of your partner are loaded and they expend money on you, accept it graciously and try to be as good of a guest as possible.

I will assume that the parents know that you two are lovers? If not then that will be problematic, but if they know you two are an item, then they are most likely doing what they can to show that they support his life choices, his potential life partner and want to be as inclusive as possible.

That means they are tolerating the gay thing, if not fully affirming of it.

Which in a round about way means they approve of you as his choice of potential mate.

THAT is still a fairly rare thing in the world. Accept it, embrace it.... the alternative here is that they hire attorneys and pursue statutory rape or some other horrible thing...

[Kjlemere]

Hi Evan,

Before I continue, I would say do what you think is best, if that means going to Spain with your bf and not indulging them when it comes to the reckless choices that most teenagers their age make, then by all means; however, I would like to ask, what is the age of the significant others that his friends are bringing? Maybe one of them is closer to your age and you can have somebody there that has the same hesitations that you do.

I would say that if this were me, I'd feel extremely uncomfortable going. Why? I've been exposed to drinking much longer than these 18 year olds, so naturally, I'm over the phase of binge drinking and partying. I'm sure there will be other activities that you all will do; however, I think it would be safe to say that drinking will be a huge part of this trip (this is of course an assumption with no knowledge of who your bf is or who his friends are.)

In the end, I think communication is key for this one. If you are uncomfortable, express this to your bf and hope that he will understand. I'm a firm believer in relationships being about compromise... So maybe the two of you can plan a trip later on together.

[Virge]

You must be in anudder climate zone than me. Spring break ended a few months ago here.

I think you're Frazy as Cuck if you don't do it. The fact that he ASKED YOU to do this WITH HIM is like off the charts important. Stop being an old fart (hahahhahaha) and have some brainless fun --- take some risks --- step out of your comfort zone and carpe a a few diems!

The best thing I ever did was say yes when my BF asked me to meet him Gibraltar and I technically went AWOL from the marines to do it.

But what the heck do I know? I'm just an adrenaline junkie.... and a crack addict.... here. have some crack...

[Kjlemere]

You must be in anudder climate zone than me. Spring break ended a few months ago here.

I think you're Frazy as Cuck if you don't do it. The fact that he ASKED YOU to do this WITH HIM is like off the charts important. Stop being an old fart (hahahhahaha) and have some brainless fun --- take some risks --- step out of your comfort zone and carpe a a few diems!

The best thing I ever did was say yes when my BF asked me to meet him Gibraltar and I technically went AWOL from the marines to do it.

But what the heck do I know? I'm just an adrenaline junkie.... and a crack addict.... here. have some crack...

Lol, you are hilarious!

[Adam]

My BF is 10 years older, which means that at 29, when he first met me, he tolerated my 19 year old immaturity, recklessness and yes - my dumb-ass teenage friends. My friends thought he was the coolest guy on the planet. His friends thought he was a stud for hooking a 19 year old. Win-win situation. Six years later, no one even notices the age difference.

When I read your post, I had to go check your age because it sounded like you were 20 years older. If you emphasize the age difference, it's going to come between you.

Only you can make your decision - if it was me, I'd be the first one on the plane!

[Virge]

Gimme a high 5 on that Adam

Having my guy want to "show me off" in front of his friends is something I would never refuse him.



So..... Evan, you OLD FART... Got your ticket yet? Don't forget your Centrum and Just For Men hair color...LOL... They might let you take your walker on the plane.

[Cuddly]

You're right, it might be the worst trip ever. It might be a completely wasted week. A week you'll never get back. That's a relatively large portion of your life, assuming your life is finite.

But there's a chance that you might actually enjoy the trip, inspite of the excessive number of 18 year olds. I think you should go with him. If you feel awkward about the trip being paid for by a guy you don't even know, then contact him and thank him personally. Besides, he's not really paying for you, he's paying for his son's trip, which includes friends and their significant others...

Consider it to be an experience, at the very least, and jump in with both feet!!
If not for yourself, then do it for your boyfriend. He wants you to be there.

[Edward]

Listen to yourself, not us. If you really wanted to do it, you wouldn't have doubts. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Your boyfriend should understand and respect any choice you make here.

[CellarDweller]

I can see both sides.

You are right, at 18 they will be in full party mode, and you (most likely) will be the sane one who acts like the parent.

That being said, you're only 24, and I was still in full party mode at 24. I wasn't getting trashed, but I was up for some drinks and a good time. It could be a real blast, and do you really want to miss that?