What Do You Look For In A Partner?
08-07-2014, 07:41 PM
since you started this thread I've had to think about this for the first time in my life. I've spent 2 days doing that. December 27th 2006 I had no idea what I was looking for in a guy and still don't. I saw this guy surfing from where me and marine buddies were walking on the beach and from that distance everything about him was different. He didn't move the way I'd seen anyone else move. I heard him yell out when a wave caught him by surprised and his yell was different. He wasn't even noticing the people near him but when I put my hands up to my eyes to block the sun he noticed from his surfboard, and did a hilarious salute and laughed to me. to me..and there were hundreds of people there and he noticed me.
The first problem was I was still unsure I was gay. I'd been with one guy one time the night before I went in the marines and that was enough to make me admit to myself I'd been suppressing that urge since 14 with women but I wasn't near ready to admit it deep down inside myself in spite of my family letting me know it was okay for me to be gay since I was 14.
The second problem was I was there with straight marines. I'd come out to one of them, Ray, as being more than heterosexual because I was still crushing on him pretty hard. He knew more about gay stuff than I did and really watched out for me and even made up lies to keep the others in out unit from being too suspicious about me.
The third problem was even if I could get away from my friends I had no damned idea about the right and wrong things to say to this surfer guy who I wasn't even sure was really interested in me or if he was even gay.
So there i was not quite 20, closeted, crushing on straight guy mystified with a surfer still 200 feet away in the water and worrying if he was interested or even gay. Dang! I should have saved all that for a thread to post anonymously here in GS with a question --"what should I do?" LOL.
When the surfer came to shore he ignored me and was chatting up my buddies before he put down his surfboard. The first thing he did was tell them he had 2 boards they could borrow and that he had a bunch of "sheilas"or ladies he had to call to let them know where to find him. I faded into the background and just listened to it all. The way he was talking to them it was like he was answering all the questions I wanted to ask him.
Once my buddies had surfboards and the women arrived I was stuck on the beach with a surfer I was afraid to speak to. He never asked me questions that made me uncomfortable or said things to let me know he was gay --- but he seemed to know I was and that I knew that he was. We were out in the water away from others and he started telling me he liked surfing at night, further down the beach where he could get away from everyone and be himself.
That sounded weird and said something about it being weird that he couldn't be himself around people who knew them... and he grinned really almost with a evil look and said, "i can tell you aren't being yourself with your mates so what's so weird about me doing the same thing?" After that I was shaking, trembling and couldn't catch my breath. I was going to be with that guy -- no matter what it took.
So there was no list of qualities i was looking for. If I'd had a list he'd have probably not fit any of the things on it.
That was 2006 and this is 2014. Now I can tell you or anyone what qualities to look for in a man because not a day passes anymore that I don't feel a need to repay my debt to god -- whatever and whoever god is -- for letting me meet a man who was everything I wanted and needed even before I was ready to admit that I wanted or needed a man.
Here's a list.
After everything on this list add the words "the better."
The smarter..
The more confident....
The gentler...
the more patient...
The more understanding...
The more perceptive...
The stronger...
The more goal oriented...
The more inspiring....
The more honest....
The less opinionated...
The less moody and sulky...
The less demanding...
The less expecting....
There's probably another 100 things to add to that list.
It doesn't hurt at all if he has a smile that never goes away even when he's mad.
It helps if he's as much fun to look at dressed or undressed
It's great if he likes making fun of himself and you as well
He has to have a young heart and an oddball sense of humor you understand immediately.
And he has to look at you with looks only you know mean something.
That's what I'd tell anyone to look for in a man worth settling down with.
And I'd tell them to hope like hell after they find a man like that...
He's patient enough to help you become all that yourself and show you how much he appreciates you with a word, a sigh, a smile or a touch
that says more than all the words I've just typed.
And you can do the same.
The first problem was I was still unsure I was gay. I'd been with one guy one time the night before I went in the marines and that was enough to make me admit to myself I'd been suppressing that urge since 14 with women but I wasn't near ready to admit it deep down inside myself in spite of my family letting me know it was okay for me to be gay since I was 14.
The second problem was I was there with straight marines. I'd come out to one of them, Ray, as being more than heterosexual because I was still crushing on him pretty hard. He knew more about gay stuff than I did and really watched out for me and even made up lies to keep the others in out unit from being too suspicious about me.
The third problem was even if I could get away from my friends I had no damned idea about the right and wrong things to say to this surfer guy who I wasn't even sure was really interested in me or if he was even gay.
So there i was not quite 20, closeted, crushing on straight guy mystified with a surfer still 200 feet away in the water and worrying if he was interested or even gay. Dang! I should have saved all that for a thread to post anonymously here in GS with a question --"what should I do?" LOL.
When the surfer came to shore he ignored me and was chatting up my buddies before he put down his surfboard. The first thing he did was tell them he had 2 boards they could borrow and that he had a bunch of "sheilas"or ladies he had to call to let them know where to find him. I faded into the background and just listened to it all. The way he was talking to them it was like he was answering all the questions I wanted to ask him.
Once my buddies had surfboards and the women arrived I was stuck on the beach with a surfer I was afraid to speak to. He never asked me questions that made me uncomfortable or said things to let me know he was gay --- but he seemed to know I was and that I knew that he was. We were out in the water away from others and he started telling me he liked surfing at night, further down the beach where he could get away from everyone and be himself.
That sounded weird and said something about it being weird that he couldn't be himself around people who knew them... and he grinned really almost with a evil look and said, "i can tell you aren't being yourself with your mates so what's so weird about me doing the same thing?" After that I was shaking, trembling and couldn't catch my breath. I was going to be with that guy -- no matter what it took.
So there was no list of qualities i was looking for. If I'd had a list he'd have probably not fit any of the things on it.
That was 2006 and this is 2014. Now I can tell you or anyone what qualities to look for in a man because not a day passes anymore that I don't feel a need to repay my debt to god -- whatever and whoever god is -- for letting me meet a man who was everything I wanted and needed even before I was ready to admit that I wanted or needed a man.
Here's a list.
After everything on this list add the words "the better."
The smarter..
The more confident....
The gentler...
the more patient...
The more understanding...
The more perceptive...
The stronger...
The more goal oriented...
The more inspiring....
The more honest....
The less opinionated...
The less moody and sulky...
The less demanding...
The less expecting....
There's probably another 100 things to add to that list.
It doesn't hurt at all if he has a smile that never goes away even when he's mad.
It helps if he's as much fun to look at dressed or undressed
It's great if he likes making fun of himself and you as well
He has to have a young heart and an oddball sense of humor you understand immediately.
And he has to look at you with looks only you know mean something.
That's what I'd tell anyone to look for in a man worth settling down with.
And I'd tell them to hope like hell after they find a man like that...
He's patient enough to help you become all that yourself and show you how much he appreciates you with a word, a sigh, a smile or a touch
that says more than all the words I've just typed.
And you can do the same.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Aquarius
