Problem with a friend

[abcd1234]

I have a friend I've known over 30 years and he moved into a condo a couple of years ago.He met this neighbor and she's elderly,71. Well he told me that she's simpleminded.I usually hold a coffee klatch on Sundays with relatives and he asked if he could bring her so I allowed it.Well it seems she has this problem or should I say a few problems.She tends to babble and she interrupts in the middle of a conversation and what she says has nothing to do with the conversation. But the biggest problem is that everytime she's somewhere she has to crap.He told me that she has loose bowel movements and she dirties the seat.She even stained a seat in the diner once.Well on 3 different occasions in my home she's gone to the bathroom and she left evidence of it on the seat.Also she leaves such a stink and doesn't even spray and the smell comes into the kitchen.So I told him the next time she does that he's cleaning it up.So when he did clean it up he failed to clean the front of the seat because he's so used to her staining the back of the seat.Now I dread whenever she has to use my bathroom.He told her she should discuss this with her doctor but she fails to do so.He told me to leave bathroom cleaner and paper towels in the bathroom and he'll clean it up.

But the thing is I have other guests and this is embarrassing.At 63 my friend will make friends with anyone because he hates to be alone.He even has another male friend with bad underarm odor.Also a friend who's a closet case.These guys put him down a lot and he still hangs with them.Now just because he tolerates this woman's bathroom habits he can't expect me to. I'm getting really tired of this and don't know what to do.He says he can't stop bringing her over my house now because she's used to him bringing her here.I heard her cutting wet farts at the table once and prayed she didn't dirty the chair.If this guy has such low self esteem that he'll hang with anybody he shouldn't expect others to tolerate the same sh%t he tolerates.What do you guys think?

[Iceblink]

Yay! I am the number 2 post in this thread.

I am sure it is not her fault, but if she refuses to see a doctor to see to see if there is something that can be done, then I guess she is not doing what she can to try and not make it the problem of someone else.

If they come as a pair, then perhaps not invite your friend either? Maybe have the coffee meeting at a coffee shop or local Dunkin Donuts for a while and let somebody else clean it up? She might be embarrassed about going to a public place and will eventually stop going and then you can return it to your place.

[CellarDweller]

Yay! I am the number 2 post in this thread.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If you don't like your guests then stop inviting them.

Honestly if you haven't learned that by the time you reach 57 years of age then that is on you - not them.

I feel for you and your plight... especially since I know in a few more years your body is going to turn traitor and do interesting yet appalling things for you.

I hope you can manage to deal with that when it happens.

[Virge]

How can it not be her fault that she leaves toilets trashed when she finishes using them? Does she think toilets clean themselves or that there's a toilet cleaning elf who follows her around? <Don't answer that.

If she can get up off a filthy toile seat she messed up and NOT see then her bowel issues are the least of her problems! If she routinely does this at homes of acquaintances I'd be scared to get a peek at how she does things at home.

I show guests in my small B&B that all bath cleaning supplies are behind the sliding cabinet doors facing the toilet... "just in case" they need to know where they are.

[Iceblink]

How can it not be her fault that she leaves toilets trashed when she finishes using them? Does she think toilets clean themselves or that there's a toilet cleaning elf who follows her around? <Don't answer that.

If you say don;t answer that, you know I am. I'm trying to give the poor thing the benefit of the doubt. She's old and feeble and obviously a little bit out of her mind. And there is a cleaning elf who follows her around, the OP's friend, but the elf is not the answer. He just needs to not have her come around, even if that means not inviting the friend. That's the only solution that comes to mind, but don't worry OP, there are some guys here smarter than me that I am sure can offer some excrement advice.

[ETOTE]

Is she opposed to wearing adult diapers?

[MikeW]

Sort of terrifying to realize I'm only 5 years away from "elderly".

Just tell your friend you aren't comfortable with having the woman in your home (for obvious reasons). He's welcome to come but she isn't. If he can't come without her, then perhaps he shouldn't come at all. This really need not be your problem.

[abcd1234]

Thank you guys for your advice,and Bowyn aeerow as far as my body behaving like that someday I have enough sense not to embarrass myself and others and would not come to their home with such a problem.I would definitely get help.And yes,I'm sorry but it is very annoying and rude for my friend and her to expect me to tolerate this.How would you like to smell crap when you're having coffee and cake.

[ETOTE]

How would you like to smell crap when you're having coffee and cake.

^is it organic?