do you believe in "love of your life"?

[Davis]

I'm asking this becauce now I'm dating a very nice guy. We're together for half a year now and recently I told him he's the love of my life and asked if he felt the same way for me. However he said "I wouldn't say so. You're my partner for now, that's it. We can never know what'll happen tomorrow, so I wouldn't use such words." I was quite upset, to be honest. First I thought he doesn't love me if he says it, but he was like "I do love you, but we can never know how long it'll be so. Maybe tomorrow we'll hate each other."

So who is right here? Am I just a silly romantic who believes in finding that one real person to spend my life with? Or maybe his feelings are not serious?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It seems to me you are in a relationship with a realist.

Logically speaking he is correct. There is no knowing what tomorrow really holds. Yes there is a chance that something could go terribly wrong in your relationship and you two end up hating each other.

In America the divorce rate for first marriages is 51%.... Which is to say that the majority end up not making it until death do us part. Which reflects on the uncertainty of relationships and love and all of that romantic stuff.

Latvia appears to have similar statistics going on: http://www.photius.com/countries/latvia/...vorce.html

It was a bit harsh to slap you in the face with the cold dead fish of reality...

However I don't know him. If he tends towards having logic and reason guide his life and choices, than this is an extension of that.

Do you believe in "love of your life"?

Hmm.....

The story is too long and covers way too many decades - but the short answer is 'yes'.

[East]

You are both "right" though I am not sure if "right" or "wrong" are at all relevant....

You both look at things differently...learn to respect that...

You will both change and evolve along the way...separately and together....let it unfold as it will...

[gay23pk]

Yes I surely do believe

[Cuddly]

It's a bit of a bomb to drop on your partner. The way he answered made me think he didn't love you, but that was quickly cleared up. So you're fine.. As for believing in love of your life, I don't know. I'd like to think I'd be compatible with a lot of different guys and love as many. I don't believe there's just 1 out there and that I was lucky enough to be born in relative proximity to him and meet him so soon. Assuming there's no such thing as fate, it seems a statistical impossibility.

[meridannight]

Maybe tomorrow we'll hate each other."

yeah i don't get such an attitude, honestly. what's the point in that. when things go south they go south and you'll deal with them when that happens. keeping your mind open, sure, but why anticipate negative outcome? i mean, i'm no idealist here, but i don't walk around expecting things to turn out bad. i see when things will start to turn bad or heading that way, and that's when i start to think about it that way, not before the fact.

i think there are people who are a perfect match for each other (though not really just one single person per person on our planet of 7+ billion people); and yes, i do think ''love of life'' does exist. if you meet a guy, get to know him and if what you feel for him is stronger than anything you've ever felt for anybody else, that means he is the love of your life. it's in the strength of connection.

[meridannight]

It seems to me you are in a relationship with a realist.

Logically speaking he is correct. There is no knowing what tomorrow really holds. Yes there is a chance that something could go terribly wrong in your relationship and you two end up hating each other.

actually, no. technically it's not a 50-50 chance on how things will turn out any given day. if you're in love, the chance is actually in favor of a positive outcome any given day. it will start dipping when some major incompatibilities are discovered, and it will stay above 50 the longer and stabler the relationship. that's realism.

the, ''no idea what tomorrow holds'' or 50-50 view is randomness. you are essentially giving every event/factor affecting the relationship an equal chance to turn it bad or good. in real life, that is not true. and, in real life, also, the tomorrow is not entirely unpredictable.

[Virge]

I'm asking this becauce now I'm dating a very nice guy. We're together for half a year now and recently I told him he's the love of my life and asked if he felt the same way for me. However he said "I wouldn't say so. You're my partner for now, that's it. We can never know what'll happen tomorrow, so I wouldn't use such words." I was quite upset, to be honest. First I thought he doesn't love me if he says it, but he was like "I do love you, but we can never know how long it'll be so. Maybe tomorrow we'll hate each other."

So who is right here? Am I just a silly romantic who believes in finding that one real person to spend my life with? Or maybe his feelings are not serious?

That sounds like the way my guy was up until about 4 years ago. Very practical and mechanical. Then all of a sudden he had a change and became a mushy school boy like he has a crush on me. hahahaha! Maybe yours will do it too. It's not uncommon with guys like this.

[AdamAndWill]

Will" I think of the phrase "love of my life" as being used by an older person, looking back over their life and their relationships. And I'm sorry, but I don't think that 6 months together is long enough to know that this person is "the one". Your BF sounds like a realist, and I tend to fall into the same category.

I would say, just enjoy the relationship for what it is, and don't rush to put labels on it.

[CellarDweller]

I tend to be a romantic, but I'm not sure I believe in a "love of your life"......to me that's limiting....it sounds like there is only one great love of your life. Suppose a partner were to die, does that mean the survivor is no longer to expect finding love?

To be more specific, your partner is a realist, and while his opinion is correct, there were better ways to phrase it. Perhaps he feels he needs more than 6 months to make a decision like that.