Lived together, raised a child together - should we separate now?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

No shouldn't change things now.

The first 6 years of a child are the more formative. Patterns set in a kids life in those years are set for life and no amount of therapy works to successfully break the good nor bad of those years.

Seems to me you got more than just a good friend in this fella.

I think you should really, really truly consider keeping him as the second dad for the rest of her life.

No not always living there with you when you marry a woman, but keeping him as a close family member... Might even want to consider legal joint custody.... I have no idea how that would work out, visiting rights, the ability for her to choose to spend half the year or something like that with him.

[MikeW]

Sounds like you're handling it well. I agree with a lot of what others have said, especially Virge. This can be a win - win situation for everyone if you just work together on that. I think "joint custody" might not be a bad idea -- legally. For example, right now if something were to happen to you (heaven forbid) who would be responsible for the child? If he has no legal rights, then she could go to your parents and there would be little he could do about it. I'm assuming this is something he would want . . . but that is the point. In your conversations with him, you need to ask, and I think he deserves this consideration, "What role do you want to play in her life as she grows older?" Find out what he'd like and see if it works for you as well.