My boyfriend, me and a cat.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yes a cat will eat you out of house and home, I think they eat something on the order of 100 pounds of dry kibble a day!!!!! :eek:

Seriously if 'another hungry mouth to feed' is one of your defenses when it comes to not getting a cat..... This isn't going to end well.

Pet/No Pet - your relationship is doomed. It will end in a blaze of glory, because people who love animals and want them in their lives and people who don't like animals and want no part of them end up having a whole slew of other differences of opinions about so much that eventually the wall is hit where neither can compromise.

[Virge]

Good point Bowyn. If a pussycat is a big issue the relationship is doomed. I can laugh about it. I've got four rooms of my house almost empty so when my man moves in this December he can do whatever the heck he wants to with them to make this place as much his as mine... and I was really attached to some of the things I got rid of... but... I'm not going to sweat the small stuff and mess up the big stuff.

[Anonymous]

Good point Bowyn. If a pussycat is a big issue the relationship is doomed. I can laugh about it. I've got four rooms of my house almost empty so when my man moves in this December he can do whatever the heck he wants to with them to make this place as much his as mine... and I was really attached to some of the things I got rid of... but... I'm not going to sweat the small stuff and mess up the big stuff.

Well, good for you, but we have only one room.

[Anonymous]

Anyway, I've decided not to tell him anything again because it looks like he's decided everything without me, but like I said, it's going to be his cat then and that's it. We'll see how long our relationships will work. If I knew this animal love would turn into such a big issue, I probably wouldn't start dating him.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Anyway, I've decided not to tell him anything again because it looks like he's decided everything without me, but like I said, it's going to be his cat then and that's it. We'll see how long our relationships will work. If I knew this animal love would turn into such a big issue, I probably wouldn't start dating him.

I'm sorry guy. But I got a feeling that this sort of thought may be a two way street.

I cannot stress how different the two sides of animal lovers and animal - whatever don't carers - is. They both feel right, and need what they need (animals lovers need animals, animal not so lovers need their personal space).

I strongly suggest you try to physically bond with the cat. Get on the floor, sit there and play with it, stroke it, pet it and be nice.

You may find that there is a side to you which actually can become attached to another life form that isn't human.

I wish you luck, really.... but if you two cannot resolve the animal issue here I fear this will not end well. I'm real sorry to say that.

[Cuddly]

Anyway, I've decided not to tell him anything again because it looks like he's decided everything without me, but like I said, it's going to be his cat then and that's it. We'll see how long our relationships will work. If I knew this animal love would turn into such a big issue, I probably wouldn't start dating him.

In my opinion, every family should have atleast one pet. If you never had a pet as a kid, I suppose you feel differently about it, which is fine.
But aren't you throwing your toys out of the pram without even knowing what it is you're mad about? A cat is lower maintenance than a gold fish, so it's not like as if you're the one who needs to get up at 6 to walk it every morning or clean its poop off of the walls when it ate something it shouldn't have.
The only thing the cat is going to do, is eat the food you put on the floor, drink the water in its bowl, shit in its litterbox and warm your feet on a cold winter night... You might have to vacuum the floor 5% more often though.

[Gabriel]

Absolutely not! No cat in your home right now! I am not saying this because of anything about him or you, I am saying this for the welfare of the animal. People who do not have the means to take care of a pet should not be adopting an animal. It is not fair to the animal. One of the biggest reason for abandoned pets and strays are from people who thought they could pull it off when they were barely making ends meet in taking care of themselves. It's one of the biggest reasons why those cats he loves so much at the shelter are there in the first place. Be firm and put your foot down and do not allow this. You can revisit this debate with him later when your situation has improved. If you are going to be coupled with an animal lover, it is something you are going to have to seriously consider some time in the future.

Make sure your BF reads this, it's the best advice he's going to get. I'm an animal lover, we have 2 dogs and a cat - but we can afford them. Our cat cost us a $150 adoption fee to the shelter. We spend about $60. per month for food, litter, and incidentals. Annual vet bill for rabies and boosters runs around $130. And God Forbid she gets sick. The cat we had before was a Little Old Lady with cardiomyopathy and IBS and every 6 months she need a complete workup which ran $300. - $400. If you aren't in a position to provide ALL of the care an animal needs or potentially may need, it isn't fair to get one.

[CellarDweller]

Whenever I hear about this topic, I always wonder why this conversation hasn't come up sooner?

When I'm out on a first or second date, I always mention that I was raised in a house that loved pets, and would like to have another at one point. I am currently petless because I live in a small apartment, and I think it would be unfair to leave an animal alone here all day while I work.

One piece of advice my mother gave me was to watch out for people who will mistreat animals, because they will very easily mistreat people as well.

Is the OP wrong for not wanting a pet? No, but the OP made a comment about 'ignoring' the pet, which is mean, and possibly neglectful.

You say that if you knew about his 'animal love' you probably wouldn't start dating him. I can say with 100% certainty that once I found out about your 'animal hate' I wouldn't be dating you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

^^^

I'm with Cellar on this point.

I make it clear at the start I love animals, will most likely have a dog or a cat (at very least) as part of my life for the rest of my life.

I also use pets to decide if there is potential for an 'us'. If my dog or cat don't like you, you have been voted off the island.

It was Ebony who opened the door for my last partner, but it was Dog (My cat, yeah I named him Dog) that sealed the deal. Ebony was a rescued animal, rescued from terrible abuse. She had 'issues' with humans (for reason). Her liking anyone immediately was a good sign. Dog was the type of cat that would decide if he liked a person or not on the first meeting. If he didn't like you you were not welcomed. He was a much better judge of character than me.

That relationship lasted 14.5 years - and whilst we are no longer lovers because: reasons - we are still relatively in a good place.

I will accept 'I am allergic to cats', or I fear dogs because I was mauled/bitten by one when I was 6. These are reasonable excuses for not having an animal in ones life.

Just a blanket 'I don't like animals' makes me wonder at the underlying reasons.

I think most animal lovers wonder if a person who doesn't like animals at all is actually capable of loving anything or anyone outside of self.

[Cuddly]

^^^

I'm with Cellar on this point.

I make it clear at the start I love animals, will most likely have a dog or a cat (at very least) as part of my life for the rest of my life.

I also use pets to decide if there is potential for an 'us'. If my dog or cat don't like you, you have been voted off the island.

It was Ebony who opened the door for my last partner, but it was Dog (My cat, yeah I named him Dog) that sealed the deal. Ebony was a rescued animal, rescued from terrible abuse. She had 'issues' with humans (for reason). Her liking anyone immediately was a good sign. Dog was the type of cat that would decide if he liked a person or not on the first meeting. If he didn't like you you were not welcomed. He was a much better judge of character than me.

That relationship lasted 14.5 years - and whilst we are no longer lovers because: reasons - we are still relatively in a good place.

I will accept 'I am allergic to cats', or I fear dogs because I was mauled/bitten by one when I was 6. These are reasonable excuses for not having an animal in ones life.

Just a blanket 'I don't like animals' makes me wonder at the underlying reasons.

I think most animal lovers wonder if a person who doesn't like animals at all is actually capable of loving anything or anyone outside of self.

Yes! .. But we were all raised with pets around, right? What if we weren't? Would we feel the same?