Older man, we had some fun, found out he's on tv...

[mvoco]

I will never ever disrespect the privacy or out a person who in this case may be in the public eye! that is so wrong in soooooo many levels! just saying!

Who's outing someone? I'm certainly not intending to, his friends, family, colleagues know he's bi. It's just not something the general public is aware of. I'm not entirely sure of his reasoning (just avoiding tabloid hassle, fear of fans reacting badly or not wanting his child to have to deal with teasing from others perhaps - it happens) But whatever his reasons, I respect them.

[dynamodean]

A handjob does not a boyfriend make. Sounds a bit like a friends with benefits scenario right now. Cool your jets, slow the heck down, and just hang out with him and see where things go.

[Steve]

I can't see the harm in friendship, just be careful of the boundaries between friendship and friends with benefits. I have a difficult time believing that he invited his partner to meet you and that the partner was naive enough not to see something else might be going on. Yes, I know, you haven't given him more than a handjob, so nothing is really going on. I know you said there was no awkwardness, and I believe you. But working actors in the closet tend to shy away from any gay drama outside the spotlight, so it wouldn't be unusual for he and his partner to be as smooth as silk with you when you all met for dinner that night. Maybe he and his partner were just making sure you wouldn't out him? I don't know. Just throwing ideas out.

Go with your gut feelings. There's no harm in a friendship, but don't allow yourself the luxury of thinking it may ever be more. And watch him; he may say "friends" but mean something else.

[Rareboy]

I understand the warnings, they've been ringing in my mind, and I understand how frustrating it is for someone to ask for advice and then ignore it! I still appreciate all replies.

So, we went for a drink tonight. His partner joined us after about an hour on his way from something else. They don't live together. And he hasn't told his partner what happened between us; no point rocking the boat. He just said we met at a bar - true - and we both like talking cars - also true! His partner seems a nice guy and the evening was enjoyable and surprisingly not as awkward as I would have imagined. Even though there were a few moments after his partner arrived when all I could think was 'I gave your fella a handjob!'

They don't seem very couple but that might just be in public. They both seem like decent, fun guys, it's just a shame I have a massive crush on one of them. I'm not sure I could do nights like this too regularly, despite it being enjoyable. That point when we all said goodby and they went home together... Not the best feeling.

Glad to hear this happened. It will get things back in perspective for you.

The problem here is that no matter how much fun this guy is....he already has another partner...and effectively, unless they have a completely open relationship........was cheating when he allowed you to fuck around with him. And not just sexually cheating....but maybe emotionally cheating too. If it were me...I would be friendly....but not to the point of doing anything without his BF there and even then...I wouldn't be rushing to push getting together because you want something far more out of this friendship than you hook-up is able to give.

[TomStatic]

Ah no rush, give it ttime dude, wait and see what happens,

[mvoco]

It's his birthday this weekend and he's gaving drinks tomorrow night with friends at a bar favoured by theatre actors. He invited me. I'm going and bringing a "date" (a friend) just to be sure he realises friendship doesn't just mean me playing gooseberry with him and his fella.

[palbert]

I think that's a good move.

[Steve]

It's his birthday this weekend and he's gaving drinks tomorrow night with friends at a bar favoured by theatre actors. He invited me. I'm going and bringing a "date" (a friend) just to be sure he realises friendship doesn't just mean me playing gooseberry with him and his fella.

Well played.

[East]

Well played.

YES...very impressive

[Rareboy]

I agree. You'll find out soon enough if he has any real commitment to a friendship.