Older man, we had some fun, found out he's on tv...

[MisterLove]

[...] But then we did kiss that first night and I wanked him off so he must know I'm interested in more than friendship and he must be too right? I'm afraid I'm just rambling now!

I love this rambling of yours, keep us posted on this relationship.

My only advice is this: protect yourself, it seems you don't really know what his true feelings are.

[ShiftyNJ]

Hi

Out of curiosity, who initiated the physical contact?

[mvoco]

Hi

Out of curiosity, who initiated the physical contact?

I'm not really sure who iniciated the kissing; we were on my sofa chatting and the next thing... I began the touching and fondling after that. Prior to that at the bar he had put his arm around me but I've noticed he seems quite tactile and puts his arm around people quite easily.

[ShiftyNJ]

Agreed, good idea. Since this is the first time you're confronted with the physical reality that he is partnered, it's to be expected that it smarts a little. If it keeps happening, however, you may need to back away for your own well-being.

[LJay]

Yanno, in a lot of ways it would be really nice if this just turned out to be an introduction to a new crowd of interesting people.

[mvoco]

So last night turned out to be fun, and I did meet some interesting new people. I did notice that even around their friends this guy and his partner didn't act very coupley, in fact he was just as tactile towards others as he was him and even a little flirty.
Four of us shared a taxi to go home as we live in the same area. Me and my friend and, this guy and his partner. I had expected him and his partner to be spending the night together - it was his birthday after all! But his partner was dropped off first, then my friend and I was to be the last. When the others were gone he asked if I had enjoyed the night, I said I had and asked the same of him. He said he did, but I got the impression he didn't entirely mean it. I asked if his partner had minded me being there and he said no, of course not. He said his partner was used to him flirting with others when he'd had a few drinks - said it was one of his "many flaws", then he joked "I'm generally rather harmless though and he knows no one would have me!" and started laughing. I said that wasn't quite true - about no one having him (I couldn't help myself) He just hummed quietly and said "maybe." When the taxi reached his place he dithered a little getting out and then asked if I wanted to come in for a drink. I did.
He opened a bottle of wine and we talked about all sorts; his neighbours, work, his relationship.
It seems they broke up two years ago and he briefly dated a younger woman, and even moved to another area to be closer to her. But it all went a bit pear-shaped by the sounds of things (he didn't elaborate as to what happened) and he had moved back to his current flat. Last year he and his partner got back together but haven't spent very much time together (he had to relocate for six months last year to do a play and since then he's had to travel around a lot filming in different locations). He admitted to feeling quite unsettled for the last year, he gave up a steady acting gig and sometimes wondered if that had been a ridiculous thing to do at his age, even though he said in the last year he has achieved some life long dreams which he wouldn't have had the time or opportunity to do had he stayed where he was. I'll admit I felt like giving him a hug as he seemed so in need of one! He said he didn't want to be maudlin or sentimental though - that it was far too cliched on ones birthday! And started asking about my "dreams and aspirations". Eventually as he said goodnight (I slept in his spare room) he said "I'll be honest; I quite fancy you! Such a shame I'm so old and bewildered!" he laughed again, gave me a peck on the cheek and said goodnight.
This morning, we had coffee and he rushed off to pick up his child from something or other. Said we'd chat soon. I am starting to like him more and more as a person, and I think he's at a bit of a cross roads with his life.

[ShiftyNJ]

"I am starting to like him more and more as a person, and I think he's at a bit of a cross roads with his life. "

It does... and that a good friend would probably be better for him than another romantic entanglement, but that's easy for me to say from this distance. Kudos on the self-control.

[Rareboy]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Why do I think there will be tears before bedtime?

[mvoco]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Why do I think there will be tears before bedtime?

I have a friend who keeps saying that! But if he's playing me, he's playing a long game and he doesn't need to! Twice now he could have slept with me!

We texted a few times and spoken on the phone once since Saturday. He's invited me to the theatre, he's been given tickets for press night and his partner can't go. Won't lie; I'm excited!

[UglyRabbit]

First ask youself if you want a friendship or relationship with him. If your answer is friendship and you just want to have fun, I guess you can go for it. If your answer is friendship and hopefully more in future, then I feel you are torturing yourself. What is the point seeing him as a friend while you know your feeling toward to him is growing. You know he does not want to involve with you and he has a boyfriend for few years. If it is hard for you to stop seeing him now, imagine in future. I also see he gave you his choices for you to choose, why don't you give him your options for him to choose. If there is no compromise, then why waste your time. What is your intention with someone who has a boyfriend?