Am I Wrong For Being Mad?

[Wardo94]

So to make it short, for a whole year, I worked in three jobs that came out pretty bad for me. The circumstances were to the point that I quit cause' I felt like I wasn't growing with the job and I was being used and not appreciated for the hard work I put through these companies. Those were all restaurant jobs. Then my current job, I got my first retail one where I've been working for about 4 months so far. I've already had some issues with this job where I was already feeling like I have really bad luck with jobs. But things are smoothing out so far. So all of this, I've been telling my best friend about in deep detail ever since I got every one of those jobs and she knows the struggle I've gone through in all of them. She recently got a job in Ralph Lauren, where she's getting paid pretty well, and she got it through as a connection. When she first got it, was about a few weeks after I started my retail job, and she was saying that she could maybe refer me. After a few months of her working there, and me in my job, I finally decided that I could probably do better at her job and wondered if she could maybe refer me to whatever position in the company. And she's been brushing it off a lot. I asked her multiple times in hopes that she could me a favor. Eventually, she never really brought it up again, so I assumed she didn't want to or she just couldn't since she started new. After a while, I noticed she would be pitching jobs to other people at some Starbucks we always go to. We're cool with all of them so we always talk to them whenever's it's dead. So one time she was telling one of them that she could refer them to the job and I was like, so she doesn't have problem with it. I just brushed that off and figured it wasn't gonna' happen. Then some other time they were speaking about it again, but most in depth. I was starting to think that she just changed her mind about me or something. Then today, we were sitting at Starbucks and her one of the employees were talking. And she was telling him that he should go shopping at Ralph Lauren and blah blah. So eventually, she started saying how they're looking for people and that he would perfectly fit well in the store. She said how one of her managers asked her if anyone was looking for a job and that she was looking for some people. She told the guy that all he would have to do is get a little cleaned up and look good, and that the job is mostly about looks, since it's a fancy store, and that her manager said that all they'd have to do is email her and she would set up an interview with them, depending on who it is and what not. Now, this was said all in front of me as I was just messing around on my phone. So I don't know if she thinks I wouldn't look professional enough for the job since they're so high class. Or she thinks I'm not good enough for the job or something. I honestly don't know what to think. I lasted months struggling from job to job and she knew this. My stomach got in knots when I her heard her say all that. I feel the blood on my face literally boiling. I don't know if I'm overreacting overreacting.

[Jake]

A short advise Wardo please make paragraphs LOL. I had so much issue reading your message because it looked like all a big pack of words there. And I don't have my glasses on.

Well you should ask your friend why wouldn't she refer you and you'd be fixed. You can't just assume things, ask her. Also RL High Class??? No it's still perma-press, cotton and Denim made by little kids in Bangladesh and China. I'll call a clothing company High Class when they'll start paying properly their employees who actually MAKE the darn clothes.

Ask your friend she has a reason she's the best to tell you about, all you'll get here it's speculations.

[Wardo94]

Sorry. It happened like an hour ago and I didn't have time to make it all nice or she'd wonder what I was doing on my phone lol But thanks.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Her problem is she can't figure out a tactful, nice way to say what needs to be said.

I'm not hindered by that, so I allow me to lay on some blunt truths - its gonna hurt.


Jobs suck. there is no such thing as an unsucky job - even if you worked for yourself it sucks. That's the adult world, sucky job, sucky life, lost dreams, crushed hopes - get used to it its going to happen a lot.

One thing to consider is you have a job. Maybe she doesn't see that you have a NEED for a job.... ?

Or maybe your whining and sniveling about how bad jobs are has made her leery that the problem is you and not the companies you work for?

Considering that in your short working career you have already landed three jobs (in one year?) when many people out there have been unemployed for several years and can't find a job.

So you throw 4 months into a company and expect to be promoted, perhaps made CFO or CEO? No it doesnt work that way. Many companies have a 6 month probationary period, most won't give you a raise beyond the one year annual raise - if you are lucky. Most insist you have more than a few months experience in the company before you are promoted sideways, let alone up the next step on the ladder.

People who are older than you, wiser than you and come with real experience, not your teenager summer job skills, but years of hard work and dedication to a company.

So you are lucky to be working. Period.

You seem to have this expectation about what working for a company is... honestly being under appreciated, under paid, over worked is what work is about. If you want to be noticed and want promotions then you have to work like a dog, day in and day out and expect you will be investing years up on years to get anywhere in the company.

Growing with the job does not happen over a single night, nor a single year. It takes years to grow with a job, internal advancement in any company requires lots of work, hard work, and yes you will often feel like you are being used and abused (and to a degree you will be).

You have very unrealistic expectations from companies. unrealistic expectation about life in general as well.

Unfortunately every person she refers to her company is a reflection of her. You have already shown that you are unstable and unable to hold down a job for any meaningful length of time (seriously 3 jobs in a year is a terrifying situation that does not bode well).

You are a risk, a high risk and not worth placing her job on the line for.

You get into her company and you will face the same issues and up and quit which will reflect on her and stymie her career or job advancement in the company. She could even lose her job over your behaviors.

So why should she take the risk when you have made it clear to her that you ain't willing to stick with a company, and learn what it really means to be a working adult and dedicate yourself to one thing for no matter how long it takes to get promoted, lifted up, to get that $0.20 an hour raise?

You got a job now. Stick with it for a couple of years, and stop bitching and complaining that the adult world ain't fair. It never has been, never will be - and you have to get used to that idea.

[CuriousPhoenix]

Working in service industries like restaurants and retail are sucky jobs. They don't pay well and you have to work hard. 3 jobs in a year is not a good thing to see on a resume, it sends warning signals to the hiring manager.

Also if she does recommend you and you get the job, everything you do reflects on her. Yes you can bring up the issue of why she hasn't asked you to work at Ralph Lauren. But be prepared for the answer.

You have to stick with a job for more than a few months. There will always be problems with the jobs one has. It doesn't matter even if you think you have a great job. There will be some aspect that you don't like or makes it suck. Of course we don't know about the particulars of why you had to change jobs 3 times in a year.

My grandfather work for AT&T/Southwestern Bell for 40 years. He started as a bill collector, then moved to lineman, which means climbing telephone poles no matter the weather to fix them. He retired as lead Electrical Engineer in his area. To get that kind of advancement takes times, experience, and reliability.

[Borg69]

Judging by the first quarter of the original post, I wouldn't refer you either.

You're a whiner. You expect to be moved up to the top without earning it. You've quit too many times and act like you're too good for those who sign your check.

I hire people and you're all red flags as a problem employee. I'd put you at the bottom of the pile.

[Wardo94]

Her problem is she can't figure out a tactful, nice way to say what needs to be said.

I'm not hindered by that, so I allow me to lay on some blunt truths - its gonna hurt.


Jobs suck. there is no such thing as an unsucky job - even if you worked for yourself it sucks. That's the adult world, sucky job, sucky life, lost dreams, crushed hopes - get used to it its going to happen a lot.

One thing to consider is you have a job. Maybe she doesn't see that you have a NEED for a job.... ?

Or maybe your whining and sniveling about how bad jobs are has made her leery that the problem is you and not the companies you work for?

Considering that in your short working career you have already landed three jobs (in one year?) when many people out there have been unemployed for several years and can't find a job.

So you throw 4 months into a company and expect to be promoted, perhaps made CFO or CEO? No it doesnt work that way. Many companies have a 6 month probationary period, most won't give you a raise beyond the one year annual raise - if you are lucky. Most insist you have more than a few months experience in the company before you are promoted sideways, let alone up the next step on the ladder.

People who are older than you, wiser than you and come with real experience, not your teenager summer job skills, but years of hard work and dedication to a company.

So you are lucky to be working. Period.

You seem to have this expectation about what working for a company is... honestly being under appreciated, under paid, over worked is what work is about. If you want to be noticed and want promotions then you have to work like a dog, day in and day out and expect you will be investing years up on years to get anywhere in the company.

Growing with the job does not happen over a single night, nor a single year. It takes years to grow with a job, internal advancement in any company requires lots of work, hard work, and yes you will often feel like you are being used and abused (and to a degree you will be).

You have very unrealistic expectations from companies. unrealistic expectation about life in general as well.

Unfortunately every person she refers to her company is a reflection of her. You have already shown that you are unstable and unable to hold down a job for any meaningful length of time (seriously 3 jobs in a year is a terrifying situation that does not bode well).

You are a risk, a high risk and not worth placing her job on the line for.

You get into her company and you will face the same issues and up and quit which will reflect on her and stymie her career or job advancement in the company. She could even lose her job over your behaviors.

So why should she take the risk when you have made it clear to her that you ain't willing to stick with a company, and learn what it really means to be a working adult and dedicate yourself to one thing for no matter how long it takes to get promoted, lifted up, to get that $0.20 an hour raise?

You got a job now. Stick with it for a couple of years, and stop bitching and complaining that the adult world ain't fair. It never has been, never will be - and you have to get used to that idea.

I don't want to debate, but I never had this high of expectations for any of these jobs. I understand that it takes years and and lots of patience to put into a company, in order to move up the ladder. My issue was that I landed on jobs that pretty much gave me no chance for growth in the company.

I'm personally a hard worker and I always gave it my best at my past jobs. All three have said they'd still take me if I wanted to come back. And yes, I know I have been very lucky to have had the opportunity to land these jobs and as well, leave on a good note to still have them as a back up in a way.

Two of the restaurant jobs I've worked in was with my dad and he has about 30 years of experience in the business, and he's said it himself, that they don't have any professionalism for customers or their employees, and no chance to give growth to others. In my current job, I was brought down from 8 an hour, to 6 with commission. And whatever duties I had with my 8 an hour position, I have to do while I have to concern myself with making commision. Besides that, there are other obstacles that I've ran into on the job, that just mounts up. And I quit my other jobs, for those reasons, in hope to land a job where I can work for a company who has their feet on the ground, and can provide for their workers, where they can grow, and I just kept landing on the same kind of companies that seem to be unable to provide that kind of stability.

I understand what you're saying, but I don't think I fit the category you explained, to that intensity. I expect most to think that I'm the problem since it's so many jobs in a row. But I've been taken back to square one in these jobs after a lot of hard work. I wish I could explain myself much better, but I was just wondering what to think about all of that.

[Wardo94]

I have been trying to find a lot jobs in the past few months. My family have been struggling financially and we are close to being evicted, and my dad lost his job again, so I was just hoping since she landed a pretty good job, that I could have a hand from there hopefully be able to provide from that job as well. She makes 14 an hour so I'm sure I would make enough to help my family out in that job.

[Wardo94]

Not saying I would make the same as her, but surely much more than any normal job now a days and with how jobs are right now.

[Camfer]

It's true that your close ties and your loose ties can help you get into jobs.

It's also true that you can dress up nicely, have a resume in hand, walk into just about any retail establishment, ask to speak to the manager and ask if they are hiring. You just have to go do it.

Good luck and hope you find something better for you.