Am I Wrong For Being Mad?

[Wardo94]

So to make it short, for a whole year, I worked in three jobs that came out pretty bad for me. The circumstances were to the point that I quit cause' I felt like I wasn't growing with the job and I was being used and not appreciated for the hard work I put through these companies. Those were all restaurant jobs. Then my current job, I got my first retail one where I've been working for about 4 months so far. I've already had some issues with this job where I was already feeling like I have really bad luck with jobs. But things are smoothing out so far. So all of this, I've been telling my best friend about in deep detail ever since I got every one of those jobs and she knows the struggle I've gone through in all of them. She recently got a job in Ralph Lauren, where she's getting paid pretty well, and she got it through as a connection. When she first got it, was about a few weeks after I started my retail job, and she was saying that she could maybe refer me. After a few months of her working there, and me in my job, I finally decided that I could probably do better at her job and wondered if she could maybe refer me to whatever position in the company. And she's been brushing it off a lot. I asked her multiple times in hopes that she could me a favor. Eventually, she never really brought it up again, so I assumed she didn't want to or she just couldn't since she started new. After a while, I noticed she would be pitching jobs to other people at some Starbucks we always go to. We're cool with all of them so we always talk to them whenever's it's dead. So one time she was telling one of them that she could refer them to the job and I was like, so she doesn't have problem with it. I just brushed that off and figured it wasn't gonna' happen. Then some other time they were speaking about it again, but most in depth. I was starting to think that she just changed her mind about me or something. Then today, we were sitting at Starbucks and her one of the employees were talking. And she was telling him that he should go shopping at Ralph Lauren and blah blah. So eventually, she started saying how they're looking for people and that he would perfectly fit well in the store. She said how one of her managers asked her if anyone was looking for a job and that she was looking for some people. She told the guy that all he would have to do is get a little cleaned up and look good, and that the job is mostly about looks, since it's a fancy store, and that her manager said that all they'd have to do is email her and she would set up an interview with them, depending on who it is and what not. Now, this was said all in front of me as I was just messing around on my phone. So I don't know if she thinks I wouldn't look professional enough for the job since they're so high class. Or she thinks I'm not good enough for the job or something. I honestly don't know what to think. I lasted months struggling from job to job and she knew this. My stomach got in knots when I her heard her say all that. I feel the blood on my face literally boiling. I don't know if I'm overreacting.

[Jay]

So to make it short, for a whole year, I worked in three jobs that came out pretty bad for me. The circumstances were to the point that I quit cause' I felt like I wasn't growing with the job and I was being used and not appreciated for the hard work I put through these companies. Those were all restaurant jobs. Then my current job, I got my first retail one where I've been working for about 4 months so far. I've already had some issues with this job where I was already feeling like I have really bad luck with jobs. But things are smoothing out so far. So all of this, I've been telling my best friend about in deep detail ever since I got every one of those jobs and she knows the struggle I've gone through in all of them. She recently got a job in Ralph Lauren, where she's getting paid pretty well, and she got it through as a connection. When she first got it, was about a few weeks after I started my retail job, and she was saying that she could maybe refer me. After a few months of her working there, and me in my job, I finally decided that I could probably do better at her job and wondered if she could maybe refer me to whatever position in the company. And she's been brushing it off a lot. I asked her multiple times in hopes that she could me a favor. Eventually, she never really brought it up again, so I assumed she didn't want to or she just couldn't since she started new. After a while, I noticed she would be pitching jobs to other people at some Starbucks we always go to. We're cool with all of them so we always talk to them whenever's it's dead. So one time she was telling one of them that she could refer them to the job and I was like, so she doesn't have problem with it. I just brushed that off and figured it wasn't gonna' happen. Then some other time they were speaking about it again, but most in depth. I was starting to think that she just changed her mind about me or something. Then today, we were sitting at Starbucks and her one of the employees were talking. And she was telling him that he should go shopping at Ralph Lauren and blah blah. So eventually, she started saying how they're looking for people and that he would perfectly fit well in the store. She said how one of her managers asked her if anyone was looking for a job and that she was looking for some people. She told the guy that all he would have to do is get a little cleaned up and look good, and that the job is mostly about looks, since it's a fancy store, and that her manager said that all they'd have to do is email her and she would set up an interview with them, depending on who it is and what not. Now, this was said all in front of me as I was just messing around on my phone. So I don't know if she thinks I wouldn't look professional enough for the job since they're so high class. Or she thinks I'm not good enough for the job or something. I honestly don't know what to think. I lasted months struggling from job to job and she knew this. My stomach got in knots when I her heard her say all that. I feel the blood on my face literally boiling. I don't know if I'm overreacting.

Hi Wardo

No offense but it's best to separate your story into several paragraphs for easy reading.

Anyway, I know it can be really stressful to find the right job and so on.

My take on your issue. You've given your effort but your friend brushes you off. Not just once. But several times. To me, it's best to just let it go. It's only going to frustrate you more if you continue to think of it.

I think it's not a good thing to say that you can handle her job better than herself. It doesn't reflect well on you. Maybe you are able to do so but maybe she's capable as much as you are. And maybe more. Point is we don't know who's more capable than who.

Don't let frustration gets you. It's best to apply somewhere else. You may find something better than Ralph Lauren.

Best wishes and good luck.

[spencer]

I would probably be mad to.

But I wonder if she isn't making multiple people promises to put in a good word for them or something but she gets distracted or forgets and never does? I've met an incredibly large amount of people that do that...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Déjà vu - anyone else having it?

[Rawr]

I used to know a wardo, called him war dodo because we played a war game. Things will get better, just need to keep working hard and aim for your dream job!

[Lexington]

She's your best friend. That means, presumably, that you can talk to her about things. But I'd approach this one a bit cautiously.

"You said earlier you might be able to put in a word for me at your job. I'm thinking I might like you to do that. But if you'd rather not, I understand."

That'll give her an out if she chooses to take it. The thing is - you'll have to be willing to accept it if she says she'd rather not. Of course, you can then go apply for said job anyway, but that might make working with her a bit uncomfortable, wouldn't it?

Oh, and as to your job hopping. Yeah, that might not be the best thing on the resume. But here's the thing - you've convinced four different people to give you a job in the last twelve months. That suggests something.

Lex

[Rareboy]

Déjà vu - anyone else having it?

It is like Déjà vu all over again.......isn't it?

so rather than strain my brain...

I think that you need to spend less time with your 'friend' and more time focussing on being a satisfied and productive employee.

It is all about experience when you are young. Once you have proven yourself in one job...then you can go with resume in hand and apply elsewhere...using your experience and hopefully references to help you get a foot in the next door.

You pose the question as to whether your friend thinks you 'look' the part for RL.

Well. Do you? Are there changes and improvements you think that you might need to make? Because, if so, then you should make them. Remove this as an obstacle. Or as a perceived obstacle.

As many have pointed out...the job world is shit now. I'm not sure it will ever come back in my lifetime.
Make your own way. Be a success in each job and not a serial employee. Good luck!!!!

[TwisttheLeaf]

I'm often blunt and really don't have a problem with asking someone what's going on if things feel off or wrong.

So my advice is to do just that. Bring it up. Remind her that she'd offered. Then tell her that it feels like since then she's brushed off your interest as if she doesn't want to do it, and that you're wondering if that's the case, and if so, why is that the case.

I find, for me, being forthright and up front works best.

That issue aside?

On the career front, do you really think it's a good idea to work in the same store with your friend? It could lead to tension both at work AND away from work, so it's something you should think carefully about before pursuing.

[LJay]

Fairly new employees don't usually have enough pull to have their friends hired like that. I think she is talking too much and thinks a bit too much of herself. If you want to work there then apply on your own. Since you have no real idea of her performance or status with her employer, you may or may not want to list her as a reference.

As for restaurant jobs, they are famous for working people hard and seeing them drop away easily. It is a high labor and high turnover job with low pay. Retail is just one step better in that ou usually do not have to walk on greasy floors. I would aim higher.

[tiredofmyex]

I think you may have cooked your goose a little by saying you can do her job better than she can. I don't know whether you told her that or not but that's definitely not a good thing to think about yourself, let alone say out loud! Maybe she took offense to that and felt that it was best not to refer your for the job.

I think you should talk to her to clear the air but don't demand anything.