Am I attractive?

[Eephus]

Hi,

usually I don't really feel the need to ask questions such as the one that has been mentioned in the subject, and yet lately I can't help but wondering why literally almost no guys shows any sign of interest. So that’s what the question is for

For some time I've been having the need to get to know some new guys and so I have been trying dating apps such as tinder & grindr. Unfortunately the amount of matches were so low I started to have doubts about the way I look. Am I attractive to them or are they just not interested? I got this feeling of doubt as I didn't understand why some other guy gets 500 matches, and I barely can get past 15? (Ok, hello?)

I know these apps are almost entirely based on looks and I knew there was a big chance that I wouldn't quite 'fit in', so I was more or less prepared. And yes, lots and lots of guys fall head over heels for the muscular/masculine guys and I am well aware I am not one of them, nor did I ever tried to be since I've always liked the way I am. I am really open, have my own sense of style and I tend to defy any labels being put on me. I simply do not like to think in categories. Yes, you might even consider my looks as slightly feminine, a big no no for lots (hurray!). But hey, I've been told more than once I look good, beautiful, so no reason for doubt right? Why does it brings up feelings of insecurity then, when many guys tend to be disinterested during my time on these apps?

Even though I vowed not to change myself regardless of what others might think, I would still like to have your opinion on the way I look. I like honesty most of all I have some pictures in the public album on my profile since I can't post them here yet. I can always draw confidence out of things, even if it’s negative

[palbert]

to GS!

And I find you quite attractive.

[Lexington]

You look fine, to my eyes. Although I'm presumably outside the target demo.

Your post DOES seem to suggest that you're unhappy that "not enough guys have hit me up". So I guess I'd ask two questions.

1. How do you feel about the guys who ARE making contact?

2. Are YOU initiating any contact? And what sort of things do you look for in those guys?

Lex

[Rareboy]

You are very attractive.

But the nicest photos are where you don't look like you're posing for a mug shot. I think that goes for anyone posting their pics...not just you.

A pic on-line should give as much of an indication of your 'character' as your bone structure.

[Eephus]

Hi Lexington, thanks for the comment To answer your questions
1. the few guys that do contact me are guys I generally don't really find attractive
2. Sometimes I do iniate the contact but it usually stays at a shallow level. Nothing to get excited about. I'm all about the total package but I do think appearance is somewhat important to me. I generally like a bit more rugged types than me.

[Eephus]

You are very attractive.

But the nicest photos are where you don't look like you're posing for a mug shot. I think that goes for anyone posting their pics...not just you.

A pic on-line should give as much of an indication of your 'character' as your bone structure.

Thanks! I know I look a bit stiff on some pictures. I'm pretty animated in real life

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yes you are attractive.

But not in the jock sort of way (muscles, masculine, blah). but you know that part.

I think that the pictures here make you look 'fake'. you are not the type of person who can poise for a picture and it capture you. I'm that way, the best photos of me are the ones which are taken without my consent, when I'm not aware of bits of my soul being taken by the devils toy. :biggrin:

I suspect that like me you stiffen up and just can't pull off a natural, friendly smile.

Its called being photogenic. Some people are naturally so, others are not.

There are two images in your album with you wearing a leather jacket the one where you are seated you were at ease with who ever was taking the picture and your eyes were actually smiling.

The other one of you is pretty good, you have that Mona Lisa 'I know a secret' smirk not only on your lips, but in your eyes as well.

The other ones you smile with your lips, but not your eyes.

I think you would do better with candid shots, you know pictures taken of you where you are actually living life instead of pausing to have a photo taken.

[Alex]

You're fucking cute dude what the fuck is wrong with you LOL. Just one thing you need to know, moderately or just plain attractive dudes scare the shit out of others who tend to believe that they're out of your league. I have suffered of my look too, trust me.

[Borg69]

You are very attractive...

... but those app hookup sites are geared more towards one night stands. Please don't base your self worth on anything that goes on in those sites. Those types of places would rather see your junk than your face.

The other advice I would offer is, from your OP it sounds like you're sitting there waiting for them to come to you. It could be that they're intimidated by your looks and they don't feel like they're in your league and are scared to talk to you. Be assertive and initiate conversation!!!

[reaper]

You look good dude! Don't sweat it!