hocd wants to chat

[HOCD]

hi there im new here I just wanted to come on and have a chat with a few people who maybe can give a little help im a strait male suffering from ocd and the thing that I obsses about most is being gay I would apreciate if people didnt tell me that im in the closet because im not I get feelings of being gay but they dont make me happy and its mainly when im very anxious these feelings come if I was gay I would know wouldnt I I have a girlfriend and when weve made love iv really enjoyed it and it made me feel truly happy I guess iv come here to.help face my fears im not homophobic but the thoughts and feelings I get just aint me hope you can give some friendly advice

[KnightShade]

Dr. Carl G. Jung wrote about the "shadow self" this is the personality that develops at the unconscious level (usually the opposite of the way we would like to see ourselves). If you've ever had a thought that made you say to yourself "why did I do that?" then you have experienced the shadow. The shadow is what makes us do things without us liking it. It's the thing that makes us identify with the antagonist in a movie or book, even when the character is awful (which is why horror pictures are so popular in culture because we CAN identify with the villain).

But just because we CAN identify with a "shadow" doesn't mean we ARE our shadow, far from it. But our unconscious mind can understand things and know things that we are not consciously aware of, that's why it's called the "unconscious mind".

So the next time you're at the theatre and you find yourself rooting for the villain, just remember, that's the "shadow self" that likes to see it other people's way. Which, incidentally, if you have a strong shadow then that means you're able to be compassionate towards others even when you might not agree with them.

Of course, the shadow is also made up of two parts. The part we just described (which is called the "dark" shadow) and the other part Jung called the "bright" shadow. The bright shadow is when you identify unconsciously with the good in others even though you your self aren't aware of such a trait in yourself. If you have admired something in another person then you have some of that trait in you. Whether you are conscious of it or not.

Let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Liz Greene, who said, "The shadow is BOTH the awful thing that needs redemption AND the suffering redeemer who can provide it". Makes me see where religion comes from.

All my Best,
KnightShade

[HOCD]

hi mate thanks for the reply I like what you put that shadow in my case is ocd and thats what it does to me make me feel the opposite of what I want being gay is not the only thing I obsses about but its the strongest iv been scared of gay people I suppose dont know if its been bcos I dont want to be I have met gay people that I thought was really nice people and maybe should try and be friends with some and face my fears if I was gay I would know in my heart is that how it is?

[KnightShade]

Most people are bisexual and half of them don't want to admit it. But even a bisexual person will often prefer one sex over the other. So whichever one you like more you can say you are more that way. If you prefer girls more then you are more likely straight. If you prefer guys more then you are more likely gay. But do keep in mind. Sex is sex, whether we do it by ourselves or we do it with someone else. It's still seeking pleasure unless you are intentionally planning to be a parent. mile:

[HOCD]

iv masterbated of thoughts of being gay but it wernt the pleasur I was doin it for it was a release of the thoughts the anxiaty just to be rid of it I feel a little better talking to someone thanks if I really was gay and really wanted it I dont think id care but its scary when it seems like somthing is controlling me to think it lol

[KnightShade]

You're normal, HOCD. LOL!!