Confusion over a woman when I'm gay

[Milesbrody]

I've always known I loved men. I have never found women attractive. I LOVE men. Recently I got to know this woman and I just can't stop thinking about her. She's in a relationship but we get on really well I suppose because she knows I'm gay so im no threat. she's beautiful, funny and just gets me. Ive shared things with her I've never told anyone and she never judges me even for the most shocking things that any normal person would run from. I feel like I'm falling for her but im gay! Could I be bi and just never have met the right woman. What do I do, do I go with it and tell her how I feel. What if she feels the same, could I expect her to give up her whole life for me, a gay guy. Has anyone else felt like this and it ended up ok. I couldn't bare it if I told her how I felt and she didn't want to know anymore. I've never met a women who wasn't totally in love with herself, that's one of the things I hate about women the most and she, I can't even believe I'm saying it but she's perfect, she's like the most amazing man but a woman. When I see her I just want to hold her tight and protect her vulnerabilities. What's wrong with me! shes thrown my entire world out I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

[SilverBullet]

I personally would think you are bi, if you are attracted to her. HOWEVER I would NOT tell her how I feel. At best (and unlikely) she will break up whoever shes with and date you (but then you live with the knowledge of what she did IE dropping her significant other at the hint of greener pastures she may do it to you one day). Possible negatives (much more likely), when you tell her, it causes confused feelings and ends your friendship, or the friendship stays and she begins to feel uncomfortable around you since the "safety" feature no longer exists. HOWEVER if she breaks up with whoever it is she is dating, you would be in a great position IE close to her and her feelings, you could heroically swoop in to pick up the pieces, be on moral ground and have a much better than average chance at getting the girl .

[Cinestry]

It's happened to me too and even though I'm still working on being completely comfortable with knowing I am gay I do know that I am, but then there was this woman I couldn't get out of my head. It terrified me but I decided to keep hanging out with her and within a few weeks I realised I got over her already. Still no idea what that episode was, but I think it helped me to look at her rationally when I was around her ('am I confusing friendship/love' 'am I convincing myself I'm into her to feel more 'normal'' etc.)
I'd say figure your own thoughts and feeling out before thinking of (im)possibilities about the future.

[Rareboy]

She's in a relationship.

Back off.

[Pcolakuntryboy]

Are you sexually attracted to her, or just emotionally?

[Milesbrody]

Thanks for the helpful advice. I just wish my life could go back to normal. I feel so confused. Thing is I've never been confused about being gay. I've always known and it's always felt right. Especially as generally I can't stand women. Something about this feels so special. Perhaps as I haven't ever been close to a woman inam just confusing friendship. I just wish I could stop thinking about her. I imagine kissing her not sex, just kissing her. But that's still physical I guess. When she hugs me I do feel turned on though. She kills me. And yes I should back off as she's in a relationship which is part of the reason I haven't told her.

[Virge]

Oh jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Hold on I have the national drama counseling hotline number 866. GET REAL.

hahahahahaha!

Welcome to GS.

[BrianNorth]

Sexuality can be more fluid then the binary gay straight or bi. Perhaps you've met a woman that would totally work for you. That being said based on the language you've used it's all emotional stuff you like about her and not so much physical.

That being said respect her relationship. You've gotta deal with your feelings.

[meridannight]

you say she's like a man but a woman, though i don't know what exactly that means.

do you think you can get past the female genitalia part though? does the idea of having sex with women in general (not with your friend) is sexually arousing to you? and are you sure it's actually sexual attraction and not friendship?

i think you might be confusing emotional connection with sexuality.

[meridannight]

Sexuality can be more fluid then the binary gay straight or bi.

that's bullshit. you hear this from women, for whom, as scientific research has pointed out, sexuality does tend to be more fluid, or choice-dependent.

for men, however, it is not so. men are exceptionally stable as far as sexual orientation goes. the age at which they discover their sexuality might differ between different men and that might create an illusion of fluidity. but it really isn't fluid at all.

also, some people have this i-want-to-be-unique syndrome, aka i-don't-want-to-be-thrown-into-some-box and that extends to their refuting stable sexual orientation and preaching the fluidity angle. which only proves they have an obsession with being seen unique and have no real understanding of human sexuality at all.