"Don't go to hell!"

[chibigiraffe]

*sigh* i'm back again, part two of this seemingly never ending nightmare...

so, i went to church today with my family. we go to church every single sunday. i still live with my parents (even though im like 22 or something...) so to avoid unnecessary squabble i just go to church despite being a gaytheist. anyways, i woke up feeling great today. i usually feel like crap on sunday mornings but not today. i was happy that i didn't have to fake it anymore. i quit the choir, praise team, usher and deacon board all last week and confessed to my EX-pastor that i was gay and an atheist.

in sunday school today, some weird lady went on a tangent rant (like she always does when she opens her mouth) she started talking about how she had to take some test for her job and how it was asking questions like "what consists of a family? A: man and women married B: unmarried man and woman living together C: two women and D: two men. she was taught that the answer was all four but she didn't like that answer and knowing wrote out the wrong answer. she was so proud of herself denying the right of other people to qualify as a family "under god" in her eyes even though she ended up failing the test because of it. i should have seen this as a sign that today was gonna be a bad day, but no. i had too much hope and just shrugged it off. it was nothing i wasn't used to hearing anyways...

it came down to the pastor to present his sermon. he started off by stating that "he had originally had another topic to preach about but god? gave him another message." it was entitled "don't go to hell" i immediately knew what he was doing when he said this. he even said that 'this message (from god?) was directed for somebody 'ahem' here today"

he went straight for the gut and started spouting nonsense about people not believing in god going to hell. people inning" going to hell. how convenient for his message to change when i came out to him. he then started reading verses from the bible stating nonbelievers as fools and went on asserting that it was true because only a fool would deny a "loving caring god?" "i didn't say it, the bible did!" he yells. i was starting to get really angry but i held it in. i wanted to walk away but i didn't want to draw any attention to myself.

he then went to a scripture stating that (that same loving caring god?) gave people over to evil desires and stuff. wow, so kind. he even started paul talking about people rebelling against god and him "giving them over to their lust and flesh". yes, this is one of those clobber passages christians love to use to condemn gay people. i couldn't take it anymore so i got up and left the building. i sat outside and waited for the service to be over. i would have cried if i had anymore tears to cry, but i've used them all up.

i trusted this guy. the bad thing about it is that no one else knows what he did but him and me. i lost all respect for that guy... i don't know what to do anymore....

[Camfer]

One thing you can do is never step foot in that church again. You are past the age of going to church to please your parents.

[Borg69]

If you think you HAVE to do the church thing, go to a more progressive gay friendly church.

Those people are already programmed to hate and judge. You're not going to change their minds. Save yourself and walk away. Make your own friends/support group, and if you have to, build your own surrogate family. It's your life... live it on your terms.

[ShiftyNJ]

Play this clip for him please. Or PM me his name and I will.

[ShiftyNJ]

If you think you HAVE to do the church thing, go to a more progressive gay friendly church.

Those people are already programmed to hate and judge. You're not going to change their minds. Save yourself and walk away. Make your own friends/support group, and if you have to, build your own surrogate family. It's your life... live it on your terms.

He doesn't have to; he's trying to be respectful of his parents since he's living with them. But this tool did not have to put him on the spot like that. As a Christian "SJW" (a term I learned on GaySpeak) I'm horrified, even though I am aware this goes on all the time.

[chibigiraffe]

i forgot to add:

after the crazy lady finished her nonsense rant, my dad stood up and not only agreed with her statement but added that it didn't matter who it was his dad, brother or children; that it was wrong and he wouldn't ever change his mind about it. he wouldn't even go to his metaphorically speaking gay dads wedding or anything like that. yes, he knows i'm gay and obvoiusly doesn't give a phuck that i was sitting there listening to him say this.

and they (my family) question why i never want to be around them and there delusional bigotry. it didn't even hurt when he said it, maybe because i've heard it so many times from his mouth and everyone else's and i never expected him to change his mind anyways...

[MikeW]

… this is one of those clobber passages christians love to use to condemn gay people. i couldn't take it anymore so i got up and left the building. i sat outside and waited for the service to be over. i would have cried if i had anymore tears to cry, but i've used them all up.

i trusted this guy. the bad thing about it is that no one else knows what he did but him and me. i lost all respect for that guy... i don't know what to do anymore....

This wouldn't be a southern Baptist congregation would it? Sounds like it (from experience). :\

Yeah. I'm sorry, that happened to you.

They way I see it, it's a form of mental and emotional abuse. They're using fear and guilt to try and bend people into being something they're not.

They don't see it that way, of course. They think they're trying to save you *because they "love" your*.

I can't totally imagine what you're going through because I began removing myself from that way of thinking while I was still a teenager. I'd also been fortunate enough to watch the church I was about to baptized in at age 12, burn to the ground in a total conflagration right in front of my eyes -- but that's a whole other story.

I've never identified as an atheist, but I began distancing myself from *th

[MikeW]

...and they (my family) question why i never want to be around them and there delusional bigotry. it didn't even hurt when he said it, maybe because i've heard it so many times from his mouth and everyone else's and i never expected him to change his mind anyways...

How long before you'll be able to live apart from your parents, do you think?

[LJay]

Why are you still living at home?

Even setting all of the stated issues aside, it is hard to believe that a 22-year-old guy could be comfortable living at home and not being able to express his own personality, whatever it may be.

[chibigiraffe]

This wouldn't be a southern Baptist congregation would it? Sounds like it (from experience). :\

Yeah. I'm sorry, that happened to you.

They way I see it, it's a form of mental and emotional abuse. They're using fear and guilt to try and bend people into being something they're not.

They don't see it that way, of course. They think they're trying to save you *because they "love" your*.

I can't totally imagine what you're going through because I began removing myself from that way of thinking while I was still a teenager. I'd also been fortunate enough to watch the church I was about to baptized in at age 12, burn to the ground in a total conflagration right in front of my eyes -- but that's a whole other story.

I've never identified as an atheist, but I began distancing myself from *th

pentecostal actually (cogic), but they're not really all that different to me... and the fact that im an atheist now isn't because i'm gay. i was still a closeted gay christian for a few months until i started to read the bible more and decided i wanted nothing to do with that god anymore... that led me to study the origin of the bible and christianity. even then i was still a theist, just not particularly religious. but by that time i couldn't even imagine what a god even was to me... there are just too many flaws in my past religions' views and ideaolgy and "god notion"...

How long before you'll be able to live apart from your parents, do you think?

*sigh* i've been looking for a job for a while now. i'm still looking. but more importantly i'm trying to get my career rolling. i'm still uncertain of what i want to do/what i'm good at... i hate that in a few days i'll be turning 23 with nothing to show for myself... i don't no why i'm so pitiful. i have no job, no money, no car, no license, no friends, etc...

wow, i even sound pitiful posting this thread...