"Don't go to hell!"

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I went through a major crises of faith long long ago and thought I was losing my faith in God.

Nope, what happened is I lost my faith in Church and gained a faith in God.

Right now it sounds like you have a lot of faith tied up in church. The organized religion aspect here. You are in or part of a congregation of individuals who are not loving, kind, compassionate, tolerant. So your impression of this God person may have been tarnished by the type of people who claim to know Him.

http://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/ will help you to find a gay affirming church, that site also has other resources such as different interpretations of those passages used to beat LGBT over the head.

Take this passage that this so-called minister decided to teach. The words used in the King James Version to describe what happen comes closest in meaning. 'God gave them over to....'

In reality what happened is God decided that if they wanted to be so far removed from God and be beasts then so be it. He punished them by turning them into lustful creatures who burned in their lust for one another without satisfaction.

Lust - not love is what was discussed. It was a punishment devised by God, most likely these were straight people who were loath to have no satisfaction with sex with the opposite gender. This would be a fitting punishment given the circumstances.

Your pastor is not a good person and has failed to do his job.

I think you are given a good chance here to make a compromise to your commitment to your parents needs/wants and to get a bit of better understanding of the nature of God and Christ.

Some smart fellow once remarked, "Oh, I don’t reject Christ. I love Christ. It’s just that so many of you Christians are so unlike Christ." (more) I think you are a victim of the same mindset which has pushed many from the potential of understanding God to them isolating themselves from any and all concepts and ideologies about this God Person.

Perhaps to meet the religious requirements of your parents you can get into a Methodist or Presbyterian or other well known and long accepted church which is on the list of the gay affirming churches in your area.

You can say that you just disagree with the interpretation of the denomination your parents are with and find that say liturgical mass is more fitting to your ideas and understandings of what Jesus and God wants for us.

Liturgical mass would be something more formal like Episcopalian and Catholic.

[chibigiraffe]

So what job would she apply for in your area would ask a question like that, one that could potentially get them boycotted? (And most companies just look up your Facebook page anyway to see what kind of person you are, some even demanding access if you deny to be considered for employment.) And how did she know that one question got her barred from further consideration? Surely she said, assuming she was actually telling the truth.

Frankly, I assume no such thing. If I heard her say that I'd have immediately said, "Exodus 20:16. Read it. Then live it." (For those who don't know, it's the commandment against bearing false witness, part of the Ten Commandments.)

i'm not quite sure actually. she talks about how she cleans and takes care of people at their homes. she brags about how she finishes her work in time to make it to sunday school every week. she was taking some class where the teacher explained to her what a family was. and of course she didn't like that and would rather fail the test, shes not that bright...

[chibigiraffe]

FIRST
Boy you missed a prime opportunity to cut that B***h down to size when she told everyone she had to take a test for a job about what determines a family.
THAT WAS A COMPLETE LIE. In fact it was worse than a lie because it's untrue on two levels. The first is that it is totally illegal for an employer to ask questions like that... (here comes the second part) .... except if they are a damned church that is utilizing the new idea of "positive discrimination." (invented by the Discovery Institute who invented the great hoax called Intelligent design) Positive Discrimination has been upheld in some courts and gives churches and faith based businesses the right to discriminate on the basis of religion when hiring or even in other things. There's a mega church in Alabama that bought up an apartment complex near to it and is allowed to discriminate on the basis of religion when leasing apartments.

Had the Cupid Stunt really taken that test she could have been applying for a job ONLY in a faith based business in which case the only correct answer would have been A: man and women married

I wish I'd been there. I'd have yelled her down and mocked the crap out of her for lying for Jesus and then if she really pissed me off I'd have tied her tits in a square knot behind her head.

thanks a lot. but i can't really go off on these people. my whole life revolves around the church and my family. i don't have any friends outside of that so if i go off on one of them i'm left feeling even more alone and ostracized than i do now. they aren't bad people and i think they really care for me but i can't tolerate their pyscho0babble bs either...

Second.....
I caught that you came out to your EX pastor and then heard a sermon from your pastor... implying they are two separate people and that the EX Pastor broke your confidence and ran his mouth to the current pastor.
You were victimized by the worst behavior that a supposed "men of god" could be capable of. Get yourself as far from that as you possibly can and don't feel bad about it. In fact you ought to feel proud for standing up for yourself. With no idea where you live and the churches in your area I can still assure you there are others where you would be welcome as gay and as an atheist. ( I have a funny story about that I may share if this isn't too long. )
Metropolitian Community Church = the largest worldwide gay denomination and is throughout the US, Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, UK, and many countries in Europe.
Unitarians are 100% inclusive and you'll find people of all faiths other than Chrisitanity involved with them.
American Catholic Church (not Roman CC) is 100% inclusive of gays and full of refugees from other churches who have experienced the types of things you are going through with your church.
There are also many organizations of atheists/agnostics all over the USA and can be found on the internet pretty easily. Our local group calls themselves "Free Thinkers" and meets on Sunday afternoons for discussions and various speakers -- and always have tons of food and sometimes great entertainment.

sorry for the misunderstanding. there is only one pastor. i used to claim him as my pastor. and i would really love to try other more inclusive churches. it will irritate my parents but i don't care.

Third
About your education, career plans and future. Guess what? There's no danged timeline on deciding that and there's no sense beating yourself up over it. Sometimes the career plans we dream out for ourselves will come in direct conflict with other aspects of our lives as they develop. If you happen to meet up with 'the man of your dreams' all your career plans may conflict with the relationship. That means you'll either have to give up one for the sake of the other OR change career plans in order to keep the relationship.

I know this from personal experience. I planned on a career in Geology/Mining that would have meant I'd most likely have been traveling the globe and never settling down for more than a few years.... Then came my man... It took a couple of years to figure things out, I'm still working on my degree but I'll most likely never do anything with it. I changed directions (while still in school) opened a Bed and Breakfast and ventured into other businesses so that I'm really not working for anyone but myself and already making more than I ever could in a career in my field.

My suggestion is to forget school for a while and get into a job for awhile and continue to look for another one. As for your desire to work with animals -- there are careers in that and you can actually make a living at it without a degree. Because of my lifelong love of dogs and cats I was suckered into taking in "unadoptable" dogs from our local small shelter and teaching them manners and tricks to help them get homes. I've been doing it now for three years, love it and IF I had the time could turn it into a full time career... Instead I do it just for the fun and the satisfaction of helping good dogs find good homes....

thanks again for the advice. i have thought about other careers but nothing has ever felt so right for me than computer engineering. i just don't know a lot about it but i've researched the occupation description and i'm so ready to dig right in. i just have to find a college that will accept me after all of my screw ups... but i would like to know more about the "taking in shelter animals" stuff...

[Virge]

[MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION] used the word "define" and I remembered this song you need to hear.... You really need to hear this....

[chibigiraffe]

Virge got there first.

I see a real problem here with you allowing yourself to be defined by others, including parents and pastors and Sunday School teachers.

Time for you to grow up and take more responsibility for your entire life.

Going to church as an aetheist isn't respectful of your parents; it is a compromise of your principles.
To be blunt...I think you like the conflict and drama...at this point, I believe that you want to feel the injustice of your struggle with intolerance.

You could make a much stronger statement by quitting church and going out to volunteer at a food bank or shelter on Sunday mornings.

At 22, you need to get beyond the notion of wasting time at school...particularly if you are doing it on someone else's dime. I get that some students fail because they are out of their depth and depressed, but your career path planning just sounds sloppy. Instead of just wasting time and credits, you should have researched exactly what you would require to be a veterinarian and buckled down. Anyone could have told you that chemistry and biology would be savage, but honestly...you should have done all the hard work to figure this out yourself.

Having said this...it is up to you to do all the work to buckle down and plan out a career path that either does or does not rely on post-secondary education and to get on with it. And to stick with it and give it 100% of you attention and passion.

Instead of wasting your life fretting about frontal assaults from your parents' church or pastor...put you energy and your brains into creating a life that is rich and fulfilling.

thanks a lot for the advice. first id like to say that i really hate drama. i can't stand all the attention on myself ( i feel like im about to explode from all the anxiety and pressure to be something i'm just not)
and i know i need to grow up. i've put myself down so much that i forgot to realize that i am an adult now. i'm gonna tell my family some time this week that i'm not planning on going back to that church anytime soon. they won't like it but they can't make me.
i'm gonna stop wimping out and i'm gonna apply to a college (i have one in mind already) and i'm gonna find a job.

[Rareboy]

i'm not quite sure actually. she talks about how she cleans and takes care of people at their homes. she brags about how she finishes her work in time to make it to sunday school every week. she was taking some class where the teacher explained to her what a family was. and of course she didn't like that and would rather fail the test, shes not that bright...

....and if you are going to be a good aetheist, you need to stop caring about what this dumb cunt or your pastor think about how the world should work.

You need to get out there and prove that goodness and altruism have nothing to do with Bible verses or fear of God and buckle down and do good for others.

and forget about your church and Sunday School.....

[chibigiraffe]

....and if you are going to be a good aetheist, you need to stop caring about what this dumb cunt or your pastor think about how the world should work.

You need to get out there and prove that goodness and altruism have nothing to do with Bible verses or fear of God and buckle down and do good for others.

and forget about your church and Sunday School.....

thanks, i got it.

i'm gonna come out to everyone else (friends and family; don't know how, maybe facebook?) this week.
i'm gonna tell my family that i'm not going back to the church anymore whether they like it or not.
i'm gonna stop being afraid of rejection and find a job while also looking into a school with the major i want (i already have one in mind)

thanks everyone for the advice!