No sexy with partner of 3 years

[Rareboy]

Wow.

Virge did all the heavy lifting here.

To the OP.

You and your partner have an abusive co-dependent passive aggressive relationship.

Both of you apparently like it like it this way or one of you would have done the sensible thing and called it quits.

[Beaux]

I can understand having problems and seeking outside help and advice from others. I do it myself on occasion.
I can understand not liking the advice given and choosing to go another way in hopes of reaching a better place.
I can even understand being afraid of change and not wanting to start over in life for fear of being in a worse situation than you were to begin with.

What I cannot understand, is why you would continue in a relationship that, by your own admission, does not fufill you, does not provide you with a sense of safty and security, causes you this much mental and emotional anguish, and doesn't show ANY sign of EVER improving.

Learn to value YOURSELF. As of the time of this last post (as of earlier posts if we are being honest...), you do not value yourself. At. All.
If you did, you would have left him. Which leads me to believe that there is some truth to some of the things he is accusing you of; most specifically, I am thinking that you ARE with him for his money or for the lifestyle he affords you, because if you weren't you would have left him when he accused you of it. See how that works? Well, he probably does too, and there aren't a whole lot of guys who will still see you as attractive once they realize that you are only there for the money. At this point, if you DO secretly cheat on him and continue in this mockery of a relationship, you will only be affirming to yourself (and eventually to him bc he WILL find out) that you just a gold-digger.

Show some self respect! Put on your big girl panties, pull up your boot straps, and put the both of you out of your misery!

~Beaux

[Virge]

For the record I was NOT angry when I replied to this thread. I just wanted to point out the complete absurdity of continuing to discuss the same problems over and over without attempting to use any advice given about them.

And no offense intended to anyone but it reminds me of the differences between how men and women discuss problems. Men discuss to find solutions and plans of action. Women discuss just to discuss and go back to the same problems. I know I'm oversimplifying that but there's been book written about the differences in the ways men and women do things.... so don't jump up and call me a misogynist please.

Nothing is ever gained or improved by having the same conversation over and over....

[Borg69]

I certainly can't add anything that's not already been said better than I could have... Other than time to stop talking about it, and time to start doing/trying something to fix it.

Applause to [MENTION=21084]Virge[/MENTION] for his efforts!!!

[Darius]

You don't love each other. Move on. There are others you could be torturing.

[Lexington]

I dunno. I remember one person once saying "It's always great when two dysfunctional people fall into a mutually dysfunctional relationship, as it removes two dysfunctional people from the dating pool."

You know what you have.
You know what you can do about it.

Lex