Money loan From your partner when you truly needed and he says no when he has the $$?

[excalibur77]

Yeah, [MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION], the main reason I said one grand isn't that big is because he did say he's been working legally. To me it just doesn't make sense how someone who is working in the US, legally, does not have $1000 to their name, especially if it's for something he claims to be so important.

And as others have pointed out, immigrating to another country is not something that "just happens." You plan it out and you usually already have a heads up on the expenses. It just doesn't make any sense how he so suddenly needs that amount now and has "no way to get that money" if he's been working all this time. Where has his earnings gone? A. He spent it all. B. He saved it. C. He sent it back home. A is obviously a problem, and all this would be a non issue if it's B. However, if it's C, why can't he just ask for the help from the people back home? I'm sure they'll understand especially if they want their relative to stay in the US.

Honestly, no matter how we look at this, it just makes zero sense why he doesn't have that amount if he's been working legally all this time. And to be frank, I'm not a fan of the way OP is calculating how much his partner plans on spending on cruises and brand new TVs. It's really not his money to count anyway.

[Hardheaded1]

Two different issues.

One is the non-relationship, and the OP has already come clean about it. Of course, that does kinda negate the thread's premise, as it answers why.

He's selfish and distrustful (not the OP.)

As to the $1,000, I have NO problem believing it is ungettable by maybe the majority of guys I know under 30. Many are struggling with finances, as I did at that age.

[Rareboy]

I pay child support for my 2 daughters. I don't ask him for any kind of Finantial favor at all. I pay him rent and we share vacation expenses. This $1000 came in a short notice and to a time sensitive issue if not taken care of. I came to this country by myself. Since I have a "partner" my first natural reaction to ask somene for help was him. He is 20 years older than me. Basically during this 3 years he Has showed no commitment. He could see me going through anything and never offers help of any kind. To be honest with everybody, I'm fed up of a relationship with no commitment from his part. We don't have sex, we will never be real partners. We will never buy a house or a car together. We will never have assets together. He wanted me to pay 50% of his mortgage and I said no. Why should I? It's not our house. It's his. I just think I picked the wrong person at the wrong moment and took time to realize it. Yes there are 2 sides of the story. But his side is way better than me: I've helped him when he has been sick. I've been monogamous even though we do not have sex. He wants to travel. I go with him. Anyway. The issue with the money i got it resolved by myself. What I get from all this is another wake up call to see the person I am sharing my life with.

I'm beginning to think that you are emotionally tone deaf.

I've said before that the two of you have some kind of ugly passive-aggressive co-dependent relationship.

You aren't partners. In any sense of the word. As far as I can tell, you are just someone living in this twisted guy's house.

You can turn up every few weeks or months moaning and bitching about this guy or you can look into your pants, find some balls and move out.

To be blunt, like others on this forum I'm beginning to doubt your story.

[Hardheaded1]

I'm beginning to think that you are emotionally tone deaf.

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Your comment seems timely.

[Camfer]

You got the funds together, and you got some insight into this guy whose house you find yourself living in. That's all really good. You're making progress on the immigration. Now it's also time to plan your exit from that household. Hope you can create a better situation for yourself very soon.

[Zurdoknoc]

Thanks you all for your responsrs. Some of them want out of the main subject of the post: help your partner when he needs it. Could be with a loan ( like in my case, an emergency loan) help him when he is sick or as simple as helping him to be happy. For me, a partner is a trooper for you. Someone who cares about you and your goals. Someone who is there when you need him, emotionally , perhaps finantially, physically. What I asked from him was emergency Finantial help. I have my own Finantial responsibilities and he is aware if that. I am not finantially struggling but I just didn't have that amount of money from one day to another. I've never expected anybody to support me finantially. And never from a men. What I got from this issue is what I have been seeng, little by little: lack of commitment and a lot of selfishness from the person I am living with. No because he didn't borrowed me the money. It was Because the way he resounded and what he responded. He put his own "needs" first and as usual and it's not the first time. I understand what many people say about his own money and what he does or does not do with it. Helping someone you love with a loan that will be paid off very soon is something he could have afforded without thinking because he is finantially well stablished. HELPING is his problem. In general he doesnt do it and Well I've been a witness of it. Anyway, I was able to resolve my Finantial issue and as far as today.....he doesn't speak to me LOL. Why? I have no idea and I won't ask. Thanks to all of you for your comments one more time

[Darius]

Zurdok, now that you know what he is really like and you been slow to admit it, why don't you just move out but don't give him any notice. Just disappear from his life one day. That's all he deserves.

[Zurdoknoc]

Than the plan. He is going to his cruise to Europe in June. And I am going out of his house. I don't mean to be rude or mean but I don't feel like saying bye bye either.

[LJay]

If you can pay $1000 back in two months, then you must somehow find a way to get a short term loan. Credit Card? A friend? Some group that assists immigrants in your shoes?

I think your partner isn' t one and that your next plan should be to get away from him, and quickly.

You don't have a relationship. You are merely a housing assistance program.

PS: My throat is dry. Is there any Kool-Aid?

[Zurdoknoc]

I got resolved the money issue by myself. What really threw me off were 2 things: his reaction to my request for help and the fact he does not care about his "partner" needs goals and problems. Anyway sometimes is better to accept the reality forgive and forget. Thanks