caught partner in bed with a friend

[Rareboy]

Kick him to the curb.

[CellarDweller]

unless you want to stay in a relationship with a man who disrespects you, lies to you and tries to manipulate you -- what other choice do you have?

Re-read this post a few times, because it's the truth. Not only did he do you wrong, he did it to you in your own place, and then tried to turn it on you.

Walk away.

[East]

I have good news for you!

You should thank the Universe for this blessing ...you might have moved to your country with this jerk and he might have had claim on your family business....

The bad thing is who he chose to do this with and how he reacted when you caught him...he is trash and you know what you do with trash...eh? (unless you are a hoarder?:eek

Trash goes in the garbage....

I think you are lucky you found out now....

[chrisdeme95]

Once a cheater always a cheater I think . If I were you I would leave without him. But if you think he really cares and love you he Will follow u on his own and try and make it up to you. Make him work for your love and attention. But remember love keep in mind he could do it again.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Not only is he not sorry for what he did, he is trying to turn it on you. Then he gets abusive with you. Do you really need this kind of person in your life?

It is better to have found this out NOW rather than later, right? ... unless you want to stay in a relationship with a man who disrespects you, lies to you and tries to manipulate you -- what other choice do you have?

He clearly doesn't even respect you enough to NOT say anything after being caught, because he even so far as to call you a cunt. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that.

... he's trying to turn around the issue to make you at fault. That's not a good sign.

LISTEN to what people are telling you. They're not just telling you that you're right to be upset.

They are telling you that you are in a relationship with a manipulator and an abuser.

He may not have physically abused you, but mental and verbal abuse can often be even more damaging.

Don't walk.... RUN in the other direction and leave his ass behind for someone that will treat you right.

There's absolutely no reason why he, a person in a monogamous relationship, would be in bed with someone else, with his trousers unbuttoned. There's nothing "silly" about your reaction.

Do NOT let him convince you otherwise.

You should thank the Universe for this blessing ...you might have moved to your country with this jerk and he might have had claim on your family business....

I think you are lucky you found out now....

^^^ Agreed. 100%

[lonley]

I am sorry but I have to agree that he has been cheating for sometime and that he was way to comfortable and got caught I am so sorry that this is has happened to you .I hope that you are able to work threw this and kick him to the curb! I think that if you take him back that he will just do it again to you and you deserve better than that ! I wish you the best of luck

[abritabroad]

wow poor you..
It sounds to me that he had a knee jerk reaction for being caught and im guessing as it was 3am and he just arrived back from a gay bar there was alcohol involved so there may be all sorts of issues here..
Are you both in an open relationship? Have either of you an agreement about sex outside the relationship or has he tried to discuss this before?
Were you having issues prior to this evening?
Has he tried to make amends or apologise since his outburst on Saturday..
I would like to know the answers to these questions first before writing him off as a total useless asshole..
I have recently had some issues in my relationship and have to say if my partner had reacted like that he would be out the door before he had finished his rant.. and would need to do some serious asskissing to get a chance to even try to explain the situation..

[Hardheaded1]

You don't really need advise. You knew the truth before you walked downstairs.

Do what you know you need to do. Sever ties.

Do not keep strings attached or prolong the breakup. Get clear of the falling tree.

[trywait]

move on. plain and simple

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Tumors needs to be excised before they become malignant and kill you.

It seems like this tumor (your BF) is about to go malignant, and is going to at best ruin you if you do not excise him out of your life.

Yes I know its hard, yes I know that you still love him and want to believe that you can go back to being 'us' like it was before all of this happened.

But rarely do couples get to go back, and those that do have to work real hard at it in order to regain that trust they once had.

He doesn't appear ready to do the work. He is in denial (at best) and is hoping to pull the wool over your eyes.

Granted he is using the standard tools of the guilty once caught in order to get the attention moved away from his 'sin' - but the reality is that rarely does a cheater get back to the monogamy thing, especially if they are willing to bring the strange home.

Clearly there is a big financial boon in the near future for you and him - thus yes he is going to want to do his best to stay in that loop.

However, do not be convinced that moving to a new land will result in his no longer cheating. It may prevent him from cheating with the fellow you caught him in bed with, but I assure you that a new land will only provide him with an endless supply of new guys to cheat with.

I'm sorry he hurt you, I fear that the chances are very high that he will only go about hurting you more if you try to patch this up and stay a couple.

Ultimately to break it off or to stay is your choice. Only you possess all of the data to decide here.

Based on what you said, I side with everyone else, leave him.