Toxic relationship

[Bricg1970]

I want to share this last year I broke up with my BF after living together 3 years, we met and was love at first sight, I felt completed, we love intensely in all aspects and share a lot of interests, we were to each other but we also have fights, one after another, until I reached a point where I simply stopped fighting back. He started to call me names, outing all my defects, saying he was trying to help me and not taking me down but complain about me, my work, and all the things he didn't like about me, even discussing them with his friends. I ended up living in constant stress and anxiety waiting for the next row, trying to do the best I could, be understanding, taking on board everything he said, be with him all the time, doing everything for him, I know it sounds like a movie, at times he turned violent and those moments were only for me, I realized that it was like living with two persons one I was deeply in love, the public one, the one everybody loves and the private one I was in fear and anxious but always thinking it would be better.

So in December after having a row of arguments even for the Christmas dinner, I started to pack my things silently, putting them aside and taking them out slowly, he didn't know until two days before year end we got overheated and he asked me to leave straight away, and the day after he was begging me to come back home that he realized it was a mistake, that he has changed, but this time was very intense. Since then I have only emails or texts from him, I reply the bare minimum, he has been after me outside work or going to places he knows I will go and simply now I'm avoiding them

The point of telling my story I realised that I was in a toxic relationship, if you feel that you are in a toxic relationship, where you feel drown, tired, that you are not growing together as individuals and as a couple and you end up in the starting point every time, like ground hog day, exit the relationship, all the pain, anguish and stress don't worth a c..k. Respect yourself, we have the right to be happy and don't lose the north, this kind of relationships never will get better, we tried and tried many times and always end up in the same place.
When you are in a toxic relationship you end up dealing the one day at the time hoping for a better future that never comes. I'm now in peace and happy, yes lonely but I'm fine, I did mistakes for losing my head but I’m getting on track again, and looking forward to it

it's also true that I lived with him extremely beautiful moments that I'm taking with me for the rest of my life for which I thanked him and there were those moments that kept me there.

[Lexington]

I'm glad you realized the relationship had gone south, and managed to get out. Best of luck to you.

Lex

[ShiftyNJ]

I am glad you did what was best for you; it sounds like your perception was spot on. Starting over is hard but your self-esteem and maybe your safety were at risk had you stayed.

[East]

Good advice! It is important to share this kind of story. I think if I would have had access to and read something like this I might have saved myself at least the final year of a very toxic relationship years ago....

I am not sure I would have ever had good memories anyway...but since he ended up stalking me for quite awhile afterward and I couldn't avoid him it was challenging...and you are smart to avoid that if you can. Post break-up....his stalking forced me into stages of anger - hate - retreating inside myself... and finally...indifference. Indifference was the last stop on that train...and it is amazing when it happens....like it cuts every string in one instant and it is truly over...

I am glad you got away...and shared your story with us. Good luck to you

[ShiftyNJ]

I seem to have taken the Express. With me it's like a plug that was pulled and my luggage is checked through all the way to Indifferent.

I left him in a bar (ignored the approximately 72 phone calls over a weekend, finally just unplugging the phone) and have blocked him on ever social media site I join as soon as he reveals himself.

[CellarDweller]

Some people never realize when they're in a toxic relationship, so congrats for realizing it and moving on.

[princealbertofb]

This sounds like a case of the grass actually being greener on the other side. Good luck from now on, Bricg.

[Iceblink]

From his actions during the relationship and seeing that even after you left he would show up at the places you went and at your workplace, this seems to have been about having control over you. You did not what you needed to do and removed that control.

[East]

From his actions during the relationship and seeing that even after you left he would show up at the places you went and at your workplace, this seems to have been about having control over you. You did not what you needed to do and removed that control.

It is all about control.

[Bricg1970]

Thanks for your comments, please be aware that can happen to anybody, the point is that sometimes you are so in the middle of the storm that you can't think beyond, you are just dealing with the day, it is difficult to stop and say enough is enough, when he asked me to leave what he gave me was a golden pass to exit.

There were times I didn't know what is next, the last six month became at least once a week fight and then reconciliation, again and again. there were always excuses, I started to have erratic behaviours and I was always tired and sense of no future, trapped. Please stay away from any toxic relationship, it is better alone than being with someone that make you miserable. protect yourself this can damage you and your health be open to healthy and fulfilling relationships.

A healthy relationship is to be better than being single and grow as person and as a couple like one union, built a future together and be happy and in peace with the world, relationship are hard work and a lot patience but also should be rewarding.