Bad issues in the relationship

[meridannight]

About the BPD, I have most of the symptoms, which is something scary :\

"Borderline personality disorder (BPD)is a cluster-B personality disorder, the essential feature of which is a pattern of marked impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image.

Other symptoms usually include intense fears of abandonment and intense anger and irritability, the reason for which others have difficulty understanding. People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment. Self-harm, suicidal behavior and substance intoxication are common.

i think you might be confusing borderline personality disorder with i-am-not-out-of-high-school-yet syndrome!! symptoms? use of fancy medical terminology doesn't make it a medical disorder. most kids in high school exhibit a number of behaviors bolded above. nothing mysterious or abnormal there. you're all still just kids, with no responsibilities in life. you act up often for no reason other than to act up and/or to rebel against the adults/parents/teachers/everybody. you also tend to overestimate/overblow the actual magnitude or nature of personal characteristics/behavior some of which are quoted in your self-diagnosis. you overdramatize things because doing so makes it look like your life is more interesting, and you're the center of it all. i've been to high school. i know what it's like.

i've also noticed that with easy access of information young people tend to idealize medical disorders these days. like Asperger's, sociopathic disorder, borderline personality, etc, etc. their idea is that it makes them somehow special or unique, and there's a need for being seen as special. most of the time there's nothing wrong with any of those people, it just serves some personal internal need of theirs, and it is part of the process of self-discovery (if a bit misguided) that kids your age are still going through and actively engaging in.

good news is, there is a high probability you'll grow out of it. so, i'm telling you, your ''symptoms'' will go away in time. no medication or a therapist is gonna make you skip a decade towards emotional maturity. you'll still be the naive irritable teenager you are right now, therapy or no therapy.

You can't judge a relationship just because it's a long distance relationship. It's not like we were gonna be like that for all our lives, we were gonna meet really soon.

correction: it is not a long-distance relationship. it is an online chat.

and yes he can judge it like that. and i am doing the same thing. your relationship is not a relationship. you have no idea what it's like living with another person on a regular/daily basis IN REAL PHYSICAL LIFE, co-ordinating your two lives and figuring out the dynamics. in addition to actually knowing him.

get a grip on your life. and do a reality-check. you're communicating with a complete stranger in digital code, calling it ''love of your life'', and talking about him being the one, making it last forever, and him being the reason you live. you're living an illusion. it's wishful thinking.

go out and be with a real man, and then come back to talk about being in a relationship and the problems that go along with being in one.

You love someone just because you do, there's no reason to have physical contact anyway, that doesn't make sense.

if it doesn't make sense then you can keep your ''relationship'' a digital one for the rest of your life. go on, ''love'' another man like that over the internet alone, and see how fulfilled and satisfied you'll feel.