Is it fair to pay half of my boyfriends mortgage?

[Iceblink]

I am thinking most likely that gardening, pool care, and trash collection is included in the HOA fee. I don't know if that would be included in paying the half the costs he was talking about and I suspect after the turn taken in this thread, we will never find out. I am not sure if he would get anything out of insurance since money from sort of home damaged or loss would most likely go to the owner.

Looking back at this dispute between the OP and his landlord/lover, I have no idea what to call him, I am wondering how much correct info we are getting from the OP since costs seem to be the reason for the dispute. He mentioned he is paying a $100 satellite TV bill. Is that necessary? We pay $65 and have quite a few stations. He says he is paying a land line telephone bill. Since that is not very common anymore, it would seem someone has some kind of specific need for that. Does someone need a fax that for some reason can't be done through the internet? I can't imagine still needing that. Is someone worried about exact location 911? Or, since your family is overseas OP, do you need it to contact them? Some bills have such a specific use to one person, it is not really fair to include them in the shared expenses of the household.

[East]

I also am not convinced we have all of the information necessary in order to give him a solid "plan" and accurate evaluation of the living circumstances....

For instance...instead of saying "half the mortgage"...the landlord should just negotiate the rate he wants so the OP can either accept the terms or not. It should be in writing and very clear...

I also think it is important for the OP to understand he does not have a relationship with this man. Unless he is not telling us something...he has a landlord...not a lover. I think understanding that would be helpful to clearly define his choices

[Pacific]

If you're already paying $500 in rent plus all the other bills your mention, you're doing your fair share. He can use that $500 how he wants. If he wants you to be responsible for the mortgage too, you need to become part owner; otherwise, if you spend years, for example, paying part of the mortgage and then the relationship ends, he still owns the house and will have benefited from all the equity you helped him build in the property. You do not just expect someone to contribute to a mortgage without letting that person share in the ownership--that is an unfair expectation and I would never go along with that.