Sex only after marriage - really?

[Davis]

I'm surprised to see how judgemental are people even on gay site. If someone has a different feelings about about something, it's a crap, immature, etc. I would be much happier about someone who wants to wait until marriage than someone who takes his pants off in the first date already.

If your boyfriend feels this way about sex, you have two options-wait or break up with him. I don't know which country are you in, but in Latvia this "true love waits" lifestyle is quite popular, although more for straight couples.

[Butterfingers]

When you walk down the isle who will marry you? According to your boyfriends own faith a marriage is not recognized by his church unless it is sanctioned by them, they will not marry gays.
He should know all of this, I wonder about what he is telling you.

I can't believe that he doesn't masturbate, tbh, none of this makes any sence. You guys need to have a talk, it is unreasonable to ask anyone to wait 4 or 5 years for sex.

[phillyboy1234]

I can't believe that he doesn't masturbate, tbh, none of this makes any sence. You guys need to have a talk, it is unreasonable to ask anyone to wait 4 or 5 years for sex.

They definitely need to talk, but based on what the OP has written it sounds as though talking will risk ending his relationship.

To the OP- I realize that relationships involve a lot, but suppose someone suggested that you and your bf were best friends, how would you distinguish the difference?

[Beaux]

He wants you to wait 5-6 years for sex...? BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <gasp> BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA <wheze> BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <sniffle>

Ok...that's out of my system. I will get serious now: ARE YOU OIT OF YOUR EFFING MIND!?!?!?!
HELL NOS!!!

~Beaux

[meridannight]

He told me this when we just started dating and he said that if I cannot do it, we cannot be together. Even now sometimes when I try to touch him, he says that if I cannot do it, he lets me go and find myself a guy who's more like me. I chose to be with him knowing that he says no to sex before marriage, probably I hoped that he'd change his mind. I want to be with him but I also want sex.

so.....''agree to all my terms or take a hike!'' ?? boy, he sounds like a catch.

that's not how relationships work, man. the sooner you both realize this, the better for everyone.

[Anonymous]

To the OP- have you decided on anything? Whether to stay, or talk to him, or to go?

Yes, I'll stay with him. He's more important to my than any sex and this is the only thing he has ever asked from me, so yes, I'll wait as long as he needs me to. Every time I think about this situation I always come to this conclusion.

[BlueStar]

Either pull the gun and shoot him, or just leave.

He's a big liar feigning purity. He was never a virgin. Practically all those who pretend being "clean", "untouched" and set rules about it are prostitutes in real life.

He doesn't love you, nor himself.

[BlueStar]

Yes, I'll stay with him. He's more important to my than any sex and this is the only thing he has ever asked from me, so yes, I'll wait as long as he needs me to. Every time I think about this situation I always come to this conclusion.

Then what on Earth are you asking for advice about??

By coming to a such conclusion you are sacrificing a big part of your youth on an eventual illusion. Regrets will certainly kill you for wasting years of your life on waiting, and you will never be happy.

I'm sorry for you in advance...

[Rareboy]

I think he's nuts.

And you are too for putting up with this.

Chastity is no virtue. It was a social construct that was applied to women but really never to men....I have no idea why any young person would want to be so selfish as to only derive sexual release from a solo act of masturbation.

Tell me where the Christian God says that sex before marriage is a sin.

I suspect there's more going on here with your BF than any of us know.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Everyone has their own personal values and moral compass.

IMO, it is NOT okay to pressure someone into having sex with you, regardless of their reasons for not being ready.

Therefore, if his abstaining is a deal breaker, it would be time to move on. It sounds like in this case it's not a deal breaker, so you're just going to have to be supportive and patient, man.