Do You Believe That Loyalty Is A Thing Of The Past?

[Virge]

I'm with Mike about integrity. If you have integrity, loyalty comes naturally. The best description of integrity I've heard is "doing the right thing, even when no one is looking."

I've been corresponding with an older guy who's been a big help mentoring me through some tough times and relying heavily on his own hard knocks university education to guide me. Just this morning he wrote, "In the worst of times I survived on shear resilience and a large degree of resourcefulness. Resilience and resourcefulness aren’t praised as much as they deserve. My weaknesses were blind loyalty and even blinder adherence to principles; two things that are praised too much."

He went on to explain when loyalty to a person or ideal can lead to personal destruction and how uncompromising stands on principles alone can be equally self defeating. Reading it sucked because it was like he gouged a wooden stake through my guts. The mess I'm in now has to do with my having been blindly loyal and blindly attached to principles.

I guess we can say loyalty and principles are on that list of things that should be practiced in thoughtful moderation and not extremes.

[CellarDweller]

I'm with Mike about integrity. If you have integrity, loyalty comes naturally. The best description of integrity I've heard is "doing the right thing, even when no one is looking."

Thumbs up to this

[East]

"In the worst of times I survived on shear resilience and a large degree of resourcefulness. Resilience and resourcefulness aren’t praised as much as they deserve. My weaknesses were blind loyalty and even blinder adherence to principles; two things that are praised too much."

He went on to explain when loyalty to a person or ideal can lead to personal destruction and how uncompromising stands on principles alone can be equally self defeating. Reading it sucked because it was like he gouged a wooden stake through my guts. The mess I'm in now has to do with my having been blindly loyal and blindly attached to principles.

QUOTED FOR TRUTH! He is a wise man [MENTION=21084]Virge[/MENTION]...and you are a wise man to have the ability to listen and learn.....

Blind loyalty has gotten me in trouble....many times...but that was long ago...I learned the hard way...

[Virge]

QUOTED FOR TRUTH! He is a wise man [MENTION=21084]Virge[/MENTION]...and you are a wise man to have the ability to listen and learn.....

Blind loyalty has gotten me in trouble....many times...but that was long ago...I learned the hard way...

[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION]
When I read those words this morning I was pissed I didn't get that advice 2 years ago... or even five years ago. It sure would have saved me some trouble. I've already copied those words and am going to get them done nice to frame and hang for me to keep looking at until they are imprinted in my psyche.

but on another point.....
You only need think back to words between us way back ages ago to know I hate learning things the hard way if I can avoid it. I told you I go out of my way to listen to anyone who can help me avoid learning things the hard way... and i never listen to my own few sycophants as much as I listen to people who disagree with everything I say. I'll suck an older man's mind dry one wise bit of advice at a time.

I learned something about one of the perks of integrity today.
After 5:30 I drove off a closed car lot with a 2012 Ram 6.7 liter diesel dually 4 door after i wrote a check for it. The salesman said he's heard of me, that I can be a dick but he'd not heard anyone say I'd cheated them or written a bad check. He said he usually calls the bank on checks before someone leaves the lot in a new vehicle.

(When one other wise GS member who's been advising me on buying a new truck reads this he's going to bust a gut cuz I took him up on the exact advice he gave me this morning. I was just real fast about it and got it over with.)

[meridannight]

I've been corresponding with an older guy who's been a big help mentoring me through some tough times and relying heavily on his own hard knocks university education to guide me. Just this morning he wrote, "In the worst of times I survived on shear resilience and a large degree of resourcefulness. Resilience and resourcefulness aren’t praised as much as they deserve. My weaknesses were blind loyalty and even blinder adherence to principles; two things that are praised too much."

He went on to explain when loyalty to a person or ideal can lead to personal destruction and how uncompromising stands on principles alone can be equally self defeating. Reading it sucked because it was like he gouged a wooden stake through my guts. The mess I'm in now has to do with my having been blindly loyal and blindly attached to principles.

When I read those words this morning I was pissed I didn't get that advice 2 years ago... or even five years ago. It sure would have saved me some trouble. I've already copied those words and am going to get them done nice to frame and hang for me to keep looking at until they are imprinted in my psyche.

right. i think anybody with the right tune can sell you just about anything right now.

sorry, but i disagree. what happened was life. and these things happen with or without loyalty. with or without naivety. with or without wisdom and experience.

yours doesn't sound like a healthy reaction to me. you are well on your way to brainwashing yourself to another mentality you think will save you from future heartache and sorrow, but in reality there is no such thing.

when a thing hurts you, it will either break you or make you stronger. this isn't heading towards being stronger Virge.

[Virge]

right. i think anybody with the right tune can sell you just about anything right now.

sorry, but i disagree. what happened was life. and these things happen with or without loyalty. with or without naivety. with or without wisdom and experience.

yours doesn't sound like a healthy reaction to me. you are well on your way to brainwashing yourself to another mentality you think will save you from future heartache and sorrow, but in reality there is no such thing.

when a thing hurts you, it will either break you or make you stronger. this isn't heading towards being stronger Virge.

For you to say that I think you're assuming I'm headed in a direction that I'm not. I'm not giving up or attempting to avoid being hurt. I know better than that. .... and from what I PMed to someone last night I feel pretty sure there'll be a comment by him to back that up.

The last things I'm doing is giving up on the past nine years of my life and a future that would have never even been mine to glimpse had it not been for the previous nine years. I'm throwing away nothing. I'm fighting to save things and questioning my own blind adherence to principles that have made it hard for me to do that.

[meridannight]

For you to say that I think you're assuming I'm headed in a direction that I'm not. I'm not giving up or attempting to avoid being hurt. I know better than that. ....

yes, it looked like heading there to me. but if it's not then i misunderstood.

you shouldn't avoid being hurt, or deny the hurt, etc. the hurt feels bad, but it's as integral part of who we are as the good stuff. i have only learned and grown as a person from getting/being hurt. and i strongly think repressive attitudes toward it lead to a less fuller life.

it also looked a bit like you might be trying to simply transfer your ''blind loyalty'' from one person/thing/principle to another (instead of getting rid of it, as you quote). it's great to find people who can understand what you've gone through, but their perspective is still theirs alone even then, with their own intrinsic bias, and it would be dangerous to forget that. so i hope you're also careful enough when making such connections as not to assume some abstract principles in the process. or get too hooked up in their influence.

The last things I'm doing is giving up on the past nine years of my life and a future that would have never even been mine to glimpse had it not been for the previous nine years. I'm throwing away nothing. I'm fighting to save things and questioning my own blind adherence to principles that have made it hard for me to do that.

that's good to hear.