Actually the 'first time' age is slowly going up the the year ladder. Back when I was young, the common 'first time' average was around 18 - I think today its around 24. Average is taking a group of people, then finding the common number. That means that yes, some are getting sex at a really early age, and others are getting sex at a really late age.
As for waiting until 'The One' - you never know who 'The One' is until years after the fact. I can assure you, with 6 relationships under my belt, that finding 'The One' isn't that easy, and whilst the initial hot, passionate sting of love can making you think and feel that the person you are with is 'the one' months, a couple of years later you most likely will discover that you were temporarily insane and this fella isn't what you thought he was.
THAT is how life goes for most people.
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Please don't have regrets (you can't change the past anyway!) - everybody should be free to progress at their own pace, not bow to societal norms.
I lost my virginity at the age of 28, went on my first "proper" date (as opposed hookup meet) at the age of 29, and am still waiting for my first boyfriend to come along. Just wanted to reassure you that you are definitely not alone in having "firsts" at what seems like a later age than other people.
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I was almost 29 when I came out, and made no attempts to have sex prior to coming out.
I've never been one for one-night stands or anonymous sex, so it wasn't until I was almost 40 that I had sex for the first time.
While I wasn't a prude, I didn't have sex until I found someone I truly cared about. My first time ended up being with a guy who was gentle, patient, and caring, and he made my first time everything it is supposed to be.
That being said, I don't think sex is something you should hold off on until you find "the one". Whenever you feel ready, then go for it.
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<<< It's mine!
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Look at the bright side. When you find someone you want to be with, you can catch up really quickly!
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Well, your experience could be a little like mine. I had my first (and only) gay encounter when I was twenty-one. It didn't last, as I didn't know what to do with the relationship after I discovered my "boyfriend" wasn't exclusive. I tried something else. So, no I didn't wait till I was 26 or 27, but when my second (hetero) relationship stopped after 4 years, I went on a long stint of celibacy (18 years) before I met my current boyfriend and partner. We've now been together for almost 13 years.
The lesson of that is, that without being promiscuous, sometimes you need to experiment a bit before you meet the right person, therefore you can't be sure that the first person you meet that appeals to you sufficiently to have sex with will be a keeper. It might just be someone to have that first experience with and feel more comfortable about yourself. For some people, that first experience doesn't really work out, and they might feel they aren't made for the gay world. Take a little break from it all, time to reconsider, but when you feel that tug again, then go out and explore some more. There's bound to be someone out there who'll make a good partner, if you know how to let them be themselves.
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Hey Mark,
Regretting your choices of the past has zero effect. Be proud of your norm, standards and values. And stand your ground. I myself can tell you that having a sexual moment with your lover is way better and meanigful than a one night stander. I am currently in my second gay-relationship 5 years and counting and between the first and this one, I had this so called phase where i went to explore the gay sex scène and using my looks to get and do what I want. Did I enjoy it? at first but then i realised after you finish there is not much left. Then moved to fuckbuddies and did like the idea but had Some groundrules for myself no barebacking, or anal contact for that matter wanted that to be only for Someone I cared/loved ditto for the one night standers. So only got blowed or jerked and the "buddies" were fine with that. But the part I enjoyed the most was actually going out and do something before scoring. Therefore I Decided no more and went celibate and while I was into celibacy I met my better Half of whom I've been sharing my life with the past 5 years.
While it sounds Nice and perfect we both had to invest in this relationship and also afreed that we give it 100% and if love flame Goes out. We accept it and make sure we depart as friend and not screw each other!
So Mark keep it up and make your time memorable!!
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