You can't help who you fall in love with. That goes for both of you.
•
Anonymous Wrote:I don't see any reason why wouldn't he like me.
Funny, I always seem to suffer from the exact opposite.
Somewhat tangential anecdote:
I went on a date with this guy once. I really really liked him, and I thought he liked me too. I kept trying to set up a second date, but he was ignoring me, until finally he just said he wasn't interested, "which sucks, cause you're great" he said. I said thanks for letting me know and not just ignoring me. I was crushed for weeks, but that was the end of the story, as far as I was concerned.
When I told all that to a friend, my friend said "you mean you just stopped talking to him? No no no no. What you need to do is tell him that you want to just be friends and eventually he'll see that he wants to be in a relationship with you."
I found that advice beyond creepy, much like how I feel about OP. Respect people, for fuck's sake. Stop being so arrogant. "I don't see any reason why he wouldn't like me." Because he fucking doesn't! Deal with it. I know that's harsh, but you have to accept it. It's not a slight on you. It doesn't mean you're not attractive or funny or interesting to anyone... just not to him. Who knows what makes someone attracted to someone. It's a goddam crap shoot.
Do yourself and him a huge favor... shit, make it a Mother's Day gift to the both of you and stop pestering him. I wouldn't say "get over him" cause we all know that's not easy, and potentially impossible, to do. But you can change your behavior.
•
Posts: 22,370
Threads: 166
Joined: Aug 2011
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Capricorn
Mood:
Why would you want to be with someone who (1) clearly doesn't want to be with you and (2) is stupid enough to think that a non-relationship with a straight man is going to be enough to satisfy him?
Take some time away from the dating scene for now, and allow yourself time to get over him, and move on.
<<< It's mine!
•
Hi anonymous poster,
like someone else said, it seems that the advice you seek the most is how to make Bob falls in love with you. While I somewhat agree with other members that you should move on, I do also think that you still have a chance with Bob.
I kind of understand your view here ( or at least that what I interpret your post). You are blindly in love with him, and he is blindly in love with the STRAIGTH man. Straigth will ever be straigth, thus the relationship he wants will never going to happen. While both you and Bob are gay, thus you two being together might be possible.
Here are what I would do to chase after Bob: - stop interfering with his love interest. The more you try to enter his life, the more annoyed he gets by you.
- invite him to do any activity together. But only once per day. If he said no, then it's a no. Do that everyday.
The strategy here is that you want to spend time with him comfortably as much as possible AS FRIENDS until he starts to have feeling toward you. NEVER CROSS THE LINE GETTING INTO HIS PRIVATE LIFE. If he ever gets to the point of not being annoyed by your presence and starts talking about his love life. Don't discourage him, BUT don't encourage him either.
You will need to keep doing that strategy until he falls for you or UNTIL YOU FINALLY DECIDE THAT HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME ANYMORE. Seriously, sometimes you need to accept the fate that you two may not be together with each other.
•
You are both completely stupid - both running after someone who doesn't want you.
•
[MENTION=21401]DawnArmy[/MENTION], ... Are we friends in real life?!?!?
•
DawnArmy Wrote:Hi anonymous poster,
like someone else said, it seems that the advice you seek the most is how to make Bob falls in love with you. While I somewhat agree with other members that you should move on, I do also think that you still have a chance with Bob.
I kind of understand your view here (or at least that what I interpret your post). You are blindly in love with him, and he is blindly in love with the STRAIGTH man. Straigth will ever be straigth, thus the relationship he wants will never going to happen. While both you and Bob are gay, thus you two being together might be possible.
Here are what I would do to chase after Bob:- stop interfering with his love interest. The more you try to enter his life, the more annoyed he gets by you.
- invite him to do any activity together. But only once per day. If he said no, then it's a no. Do that everyday.
The strategy here is that you want to spend time with him comfortably as much as possible AS FRIENDS until he starts to have feeling toward you. NEVER CROSS THE LINE GETTING INTO HIS PRIVATE LIFE. If he ever gets to the point of not being annoyed by your presence and starts talking about his love life. Don't discourage him, BUT don't encourage him either.
You will need to keep doing that strategy until he falls for you or UNTIL YOU FINALLY DECIDE THAT HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME ANYMORE. Seriously, sometimes you need to accept the fate that you two may not be together with each other.
...or until he gets a restraining order...
Holy Shit...words just fail me...
•
Posts: 22,370
Threads: 166
Joined: Aug 2011
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Capricorn
Mood:
Pyromancer Wrote:...or until he gets a restraining order...
LOL
Yes, if I had someone who I wanted nothing to do with calling me on a daily basis, I'd block phone calls, emails, and then have to say something to them to make them back off.
<<< It's mine!
•
Hey, I do know the difference between persistence and annoyance. What I do is to just ask the guy invitation to his life 7 days a week, not to forcibly put my nose in his privacy 24 hours a day. I want to show him my sincerity, not to stalk him.
Be persistent but not annoying. If all else fail, I'm willing to walk away.
•
Wade Wrote:[MENTION=21401]DawnArmy[/MENTION], ... Are we friends in real life?!?!?
I'm sorry, is that sarcasm? I don't understand? (even it is a sarcasm, I don't understand either)
Anyway, I read your shared story. What you said about that guy, he was not annoyed when you visited him, right? If that is the case, I think your friend just wanted you to be persistent, and to stay a little longer with the guy.
But it looks like our personalities are different. Perhaps being persistent is just not your way to get someone you love.
•
|