Why is it so exhausting trying to get my point across?

[ffffffff1000000]

I don't feel like I am being listened to. When we have a disagreement or something he always makes his points and ignores mine. He doesn't even acknowledge I am texting 50% of the time. The only times he does acknowledge me is when I am talking about something he wants to talk about. I don't feel like he addresses My issues or understands how I'M feeling.

He always talks about how I lack empathy and then only ever wats to talk about what he wants to talk about. He ALWAYS makes himself out to be the victim and everything is always so absolute. It's exhausting.

It can never be an ok day it has to be the worst day ever or the best day ever. If one thing happens, his day is ruined. He's incredibly melodramatic and overemotional. I don't understand how to deal with him when he acts this way. It usually happens when I say something and he interprets a way differently than how I mean it.

If he thinks I am mad he is 100% convinced of it even though he knows i have a difficult time expressing my mood through facial expressing and voice modulation as i have Asperger's.

If someone pulls out in front of him, it ruins his day. It's truly tiresome and I don't know how to deal with it. Thank you for any advice you may have!

[Rareboy]

omg. Another whining post about the toxic and co-dependent relationship you have with this guy.

I just went into your posting history to remind myself why I hear all the bells ringing.

He is apparently HSP and you are have Aspbergers.

I repeat. The two of you are so bad for one another. Even professional counselling won't help this.

For both your sakes, end it now and find more compatible mates.

[Pyromancer]

[MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION]...lol we're 2 for 2 ... second post I've looked at, second time I completely agree with you...

I've heard people on here talk about how destructive it is to whine about your partner to other people...if 2 people can't talk to each other and resolve differences, what's the point in staying together? The OP has gone through a litany of complaints about his bf in other threads...and has to check the guy's phone every week because he can't trust him...

So...I repeat...WHAT'S THE POINT IN STAYING TOGETHER??

[JohnSomebody]

You know there are people out there in the world who are in very toxic relationships and maintain to keep them because they do not like being alone. Also, it tend to display very low self-esteem. A lot of times...if they happen to break it off and make the attempt to move forward and then meet someone who is very good to them and treat them really special...they will leave this person alone due to the fact that they are accustomed to this kind of treatment and do not know how to appreciate it...and precede to go back to that melodramatic, exhausting relationship. Therefore, advice can be offered time and time again...but until these individuals can acknowledge that there is a problem in the relationship that at this point is a loss cause to stay in it...unfortunately..whatever advice is given will not taken in consideration.

[ffffffff1000000]

Oh ok. .

[ffffffff1000000]

I am sad...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I don't feel like I am being listened to. When we have a disagreement or something he always makes his points and ignores mine. He doesn't even acknowledge I am texting 50% of the time. The only times he does acknowledge me is when I am talking about something he wants to talk about. I don't feel like he addresses My issues or understands how I'M feeling.

He always talks about how I lack empathy and then only ever wats to talk about what he wants to talk about. He ALWAYS makes himself out to be the victim and everything is always so absolute. It's exhausting.

It can never be an ok day it has to be the worst day ever or the best day ever. If one thing happens, his day is ruined. He's incredibly melodramatic and overemotional. I don't understand how to deal with him when he acts this way. It usually happens when I say something and he interprets a way differently than how I mean it.

If he thinks I am mad he is 100% convinced of it even though he knows i have a difficult time expressing my mood through facial expressing and voice modulation as i have Asperger's.

If someone pulls out in front of him, it ruins his day. It's truly tiresome and I don't know how to deal with it. Thank you for any advice you may have!

Well there in lies one issue, you both have diagnosises - and either one or both of you have forgotten that the other is that way because ___________(fill in the blank with the diagnosis that applies).

The other aspect here is that YOU can change how you feel about this. You CANNOT change what he does, how he behaves, what he thinks, what he feels.

You can choose to accept that this relationship works this way, and stay the course and find some other person to be your 'listening' partner. OR you can tell him 'its at the point where we either do couples therapy, or we split our ways'.

Because if you do not accept that this is what it is - you are going to get more and more unhappy and eventually end up murdering him in his sleep - or if you are lucky, just breaking up with a screaming, nasty argument and both leave each other hurt. Which is the same thing as murder... just the murder of a persons happiness.

So to recap. Your choices are:

1.Get couples therapy and find a way to work on this.
2. Accept what is, and adapt to work with it.
3. Break up (or murder him - however this last is illegal everywhere and rarely ends well for the killer).

[Virge]

Both of you have brought problems into the relationship. Each of you need to work on taking responsibility for your own problems and not push them on each other. When the things he does, like not responding to every text don't meet your expectations you might want to reexamine your expectations and stop trying to make him responsible for not meeting them.
Are you expecting too much of him?
Are you expecting things he cannot give?
Are you expecting him to give and compromise more than you?

Unless you are willing to adapt to him and his ways you have no right to expect him to do it for you.

[LJay]

OP, I recommend that you read the above posts through seven times each and then go to a quiet, comfortable place and think about what ou have read and what you are going to do. You must do something because the present situation is untenable. You must do the deciding. No one else can do it for you.

[Virge]

OP, I recommend that you read the above posts through seven times each and then go to a quiet, comfortable place and think about what ou have read and what you are going to do. You must do something because the present situation is untenable. You must do the deciding. No one else can do it for you.

LJay I don't take credit for that comment. I read it aloud and my honeybun psychologist started yakking. I just summarized what and translated what he said from his native language,Strane. But I really thought it was spot on as soon as he started yakking.