Quote:but I am 5'10 and 180 right now.
Jesus Christ you're fat. I'm 6'1" and weigh in at 141 pounds....
The point of that sentence is to point out that 'fat' and the throwing out of numbers doesn't really mean shit when we talk about physical well being. And most importantly 'fitness'.
Secondly, his being tired before and after work is indicative of a health issue. You're pushing him to do something which may be contrary to his health or even ability at this time.
You are so focused on his extra padding you are failing to see that there is something dreadfully wrong with a 20 year old man who has no energy.
Then there is the mood/personality change that has taken place. Mood/Personality changes doesn't often equate to being tired, unless there is a moderate to severe underlying medical disorder.
The harsh truth here is that pushing him to the gym may result in further medical problems and could end up cutting his life short.
This "I love him, and am attracted to him, but not sexually attracted" is disguised shallowness.
Let me tell you what my extra 29 years of life have taught me when it comes to physical bodies. They age, they wrinkle, they get bent, they bloat, or they shrink. Skin becomes leathery, hair beings to grow from places hair just shouldn't appear. Hair is lost from places that is should stay.... Time is the enemy that stalks us all and eventually steals away the physical beauty that most faggots are so caught up in and fixtated on that now we have a lot of them pining for their lost youth and becoming that 'creepy old dude' who stalks the tweens.
And it all starts in the late teens/twenties. We get these silly notions about what 'physical beauty' is and have high expectations that it will last forever.
But it doesn't, it won't and I assure you that you too will eventually be reduced to a repulsive, loathed creature that other gays will look upon with disgust and attitude. Wait until you hit age 30, the tiny smirks, the giggles behind your back starts then. When you hit 40 they become a bit more offensive - by the time you get grey hairs and visible wrinkles, they will mock you to your face.
Faggots are shallow - very shallow.
He can lose weight, and become a better looking person on the outside. The real question here is can you lose this attitude about what is 'good looking enough to have sex with' before your short time runs out before you become that 'creepy old dude'?
My housemate is a big guy - he constantly calls himself fat - however he fails to understand just how physically fit he really is (for a guy past 50). He also fails to realize he has physical strength which surpasses mine. If I was in a more sane situation with my own mental and physical health issues he would definitely be at the top of my list of potential husbands.
And I am not the only gay guy in the world who are into big men. There is a large group of guys into 'big' men. I just love to cuddle with a well padded fella - its the safest place in the whole world to be. Just saying.
And I think I established I'm as thin as a rail.
As for
his health: This is the biggest concern, and you are not seeing how big of a concern this is and of course since you are so shallow and more concerned about his being fat, you fail to listen to what he has said and see this is a health problem, a medical issue.
1. ...he got into issues with his parents and decided to move here with me after one semester...
Big life change for him has taken place. Basically he has been ripped from his home world and dropped into an alien world. For humans such a thing causes high-levels of trauma and stress which can affect the mental health of a human being and end up leaving behind long term symptoms.
2. Until he started to act different and gain the weight....
Changes in behavior are indicative of changes in stress levels and or health issues.
EXAMPLE: His vitamin D levels have dropped this can lead to depression like symptoms, fatigue and since the human body knows something is missing in its nutrients it can respond by eating more foods. Fats tend to carry more vitamin D than any other food group. The Inuit People (Eskimos) are always completely covered with skins and furs because of it being slightly chilly that far north. They get the majority of their Vitamin D from their diet, which consists largely of blubber from mammals.
Thus, a person who suffers from vitamin D deficiency could start eating foods with higher fat content. Sadly, not all fat is created equal. While seal blubber has a lot of Vitamin D in it, vegetable /oils, shortening and butter don't. So he could be eating higher caloric foods (since fats contain high calories in tiny amounts), thus he is gaining weight by literally starving to death - well starving for Vitamin D.
Mind this doesn't work that way for everyone. And the list of symptoms do not apply to everyone either. The only way to know for certain if he has low Vitamin D is to get a lab done.
And Vitamin D Deficiency is only one of several hundred potential causes of mood changes and gaining weight.
Telling him to go the gym is the stupidest idea I can think of. He needs to be seen by a doctor and figure out why it is his mood has changed and why it is he is eating more. Perhaps even eating more junk or caloric heavy foods.
Chances are high that a lot of crap has come down on him other than the move and parent disputes. There is the loss of high school, and the stress of entering college, he has a job as well, and also he has a nagging shallow bitching partner who is not being supportive, but is in fact adding more stress to a life which from what little you already said is ALREADY WAY TOO STRESSED OUT.
Um yeah, I don't like you - sorry to put it that bluntly. The reality is that anyone I have ever made that makes the statement "I am attracted to him, I love him. But I'm not attracted to him sexually at all..." tend to end up being the worst characters I have met short of the murders and abusers I have known. No wait, let me rethink that, the murders were hella nicer when it came to being human.
Yeah he is coping an attitude with you, because you most likely are nagging him to no end about his gaining weight, and you are denying him human affection, and intimacy.
IF the problem is depression, he needs more cuddles now than ever before. And your denying him that touch is hammering his depression deeper and deeper.
Telling him to go to the gym isn't telling him to get healthy, its telling him he is a worthless fat piece of shit that can't be loved. No it may not be your exact words, but it is exactly what you are saying, but in a more diplomatic, carefully picked words to compose your sentence.
Lastly:
You said: "
Anyway, my main issue is that he keeps getting this really bad attitude toward me like I've done the worst thing to him"
Well let me assure you, you have. By your attitude, by your constantly harping on the wrong thing, by denying him the physical affection (cuddling, snuggling, etc), you have been doing far worse things to him than picking up a baseball bat and beating him silly would do. You are harming him in deep, emotional ways which will not be fixed easily.
If you really love him you will STOP this nagging of him and STOP denying him physical contact. Seriously you are doing far, far more damage than good.
You two also need to get medical insurance (if you don't have it) and get him seen by doctors (plural).
You two need to sit down together and start writing a log/account of the changes in his life. Such as this dispute with his parents, this move he has undergone. Estimate the date he started packing on pounds, estimate how his diet has changed since before his big move and to what he eats now.
I would strongly suggest he gets full nutrients check, especially Vitamin D levels. I would also suggest that BOTH of you meet with his primary physician, and you can tell the doctor what you have seen happening with his mood and behaviors over the past how many years.
And you need to own your part here in his destruction. You need to get it through your head now kid that your shallowness is more destructive and does far more harm than the Bashers of the last Century rendered with their pack behaviors and using baseball bats to teach us faggots 'Gods Love'.
What your shallowness is going to do is cause emotional abuse to those who you try to measure by your faulty, bent and broken ruler by which you measure humans with.
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