Anocxu Wrote:I love how this thread has evolved into a kitten thread..
Am I the only one that realizes. .
Kittens will rule the earth eventually?
Eventually? Lovey, Grace already rules this house. And she knows it. She has two "big, dumb, ape" minions. Wrapped around her little paw.
Grace: Ape 1! Ape 2! It's 4:30am. I'm bored. Wake up.
Now. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. No? Walking on your head now. Oops, stepped on your nads, so sorry. Not. Wake up. Wake up. Oh, sorry, I farted. Wake up.
Grace: Ape 2! I just peed in my box. Clean it.
Now. No? Those plants look yummy, I want to taste them. That porcelain teapot looks fragile, is it expensive? Go clean my box. Go clean my box. Go clean my box. Go clean my box.
Grace: Ape 2! I just shit. It smells. Go clean my box.
Now. (See above).
Grace: Ape 1! I'm hungry. Feed Me.
Now. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Oh Thank you.
40 minutes elapse
Grace:Ape 2! I'm hungry. Feed Me.
Now. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Oh Thank you.
40 minutes elapse (2x alternating apes)
Grace: Ape 1! I'm hungry. Feed Me.
Now. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Feed Me. Oh Thank you.
20 minutes later
Grace: I just puked on your shoes. That's your problem. But it smells. I'm going to puke again. Was that your other shoe? Again your problem. Remember, it smells.
Grace:Play with Me. Play with Me. I'm bored. Play with Me. Play with Me. Play with Me. Play with Me. Play with Me. Play with Me. Are you doing anything important? Working on your taxes? What are taxes? Let me look. I'm standing on what? I'm in you're way of what? Maybe you should play with me? Play with Me. Play with Me. Play with Me.
Grace: I just drank water out of my bowl. Chang It.
Now. It doesn't matter. I know I've only used it once. It smells funny. Change It. Change It. Change It. Is that a cologne on the counter? It's was a gift? Your favorite? It's expensive? I may or may not have nudged it into the sink. It may or may not have broken. It smells. You actually like this shit? Clean it up.
Now. And change my water.
Grace: What behind this door? It's what? A cupboard door? What do you mean I shouldn't be on the counter? Whats in there? Glasses? Sorry I don't know what those are. I need in there. No, I've seen you do it, I know how. Oh. That's what glasses are. Pretty. They're what? Crystal? What's that? Oh. These are heavier than they look. Oops. That one's falling. It hit the floor and disappeared. No wait. I see some of it. Pieces of it anyway. Those look like fun. Maybe I can jump down there and play with them? Wait. Where are you taking me?
So, you get the idea. She is diabetic, so we're always conscious of feeding her and her blood sugar. She had fixed feeding times before her pancreas crapped out. Now we have to buy needles, and insulin, and we give her shots twice a day. She's really good about the shots. In return she has made us her bitches. We usually do check with each other to see when the last time she ate was, but sometimes she still gets a few bowls more than she needs by alternating between Mark and I.
No one can tell me cats are stupid. She knows how to manipulate us. Or she devises a way.