Problem!

[Phil]

So here goes....

Last summer i was approached by an elderly neighbour...(she cant walk much is 82 and more or less house-bound)...anyhoo she needed stuff from the shop and i was happy to help.When i returned her grandson was there with her "food for the night" food bein a slice of meat!!!She went on to say thats normal fare from him/his wife...so i offered to cook for her at night seein as i gotta cook anyway...one thing led to another and up to now i've been cookin daily,doin her chores,takin her out on a monday morn and doin her shoppin...

Come xmas her grandson was back on the scene (grandson lives next door too her btw) with wife and kids...this dood robs her blind...Monday past i collected her and took her out (out bein in a wheelchair...pushin the fuckin thing no less) she likes bein out in the air...at the same time i have a toddler with me and whatever groceries etc she needs!

So i decided to take a detour around a lake let the kid feed the ducks n stuff...which didn't sit well with her...(she wanted to be back home to booze with her "grandson") she cussed me out when i told her the kid was enjoyin the lake then proceeded to tell me how better her "grandson" is too her and how he makes things more enjoyable!
Needless to say i fought the urge to drown the ole bastard there and then and took her shoppin instead!
When i got her home instead of a thank you...i got a dont let him near my stuff (the child) and close the door behind ya! :mad:

I waited till the next morn and let her know thats me finished with bein a fuckin lackey for her...no more mondays out and she can get the (holier than fuckin thou grandson) to serve her up a slice of meat again when it suits him to feed her! All seemed fine till 30 mins ago when she rang to ask what time i'll pick her up in the morn :confused:

Now i've clearly told her i wash my hands off of her (i've enough mouths to feed here and a vampiric old bastards the last thing i need atm) but seems she needs the point drilled home...i dont wanna be nasty as she's old and the grandson don't wanna know....

What would you do ?

[Woolfe]

"On the shoulders of the good, the world lays its burden."

You are, despite what people may think, only human and however the situation my play, you can't be expected to go to insurmountable lengths to help someone who shows not only a blatant disregard for the effort you put in, but also has people far more obligated and most likely more conveniently placed to help her close to hand.

To be honest, I'd speak to her and explain in great detail exactly how you've felt about how she's treated you, about how little regard she's shown for the help you're under absolutely no obligation to have given in the first place, and that you're not willing to tolerate that sort of savage disinterest in your contribution and feelings.

I'd then speak to the grandson and explain how you feel about the whole thing, and that she clearly needs assistance and that you're really not in a position to keep providing it, itemise the reasons why he's certainly more obligated to give her that assistance, and point out that if he's not willing to provide it, then he should arrange for an independant party, such as a social services carer, to do so.

I'd then suggest giving a big "Fuck you with bells on!" to the world, cracking open a beer (or a good malt) and letting all your troubles fade away for the evening - you've earned it sugar.

*Hugs* Nice to have you back, by the way!

Ky xxxx

[BiPenny]

Are you certain the old lady remembers all of your conversation. With no offence intended older people who can appear to be all there can have memory lapses without anyone realising. Otherwise maybe she is genuinly embarrased by the situation and hopes that by passing it over it can be forgotten.

I think you need to discuss things with her and explain that you cannot help her as much as you have been. If you are genuinely concerned for her wellbeing with regards the grandson the perhaps a chat with social services (or the irish equivalent - I don't know how things work over there) is in order. They will be able to help her a little more.

Well done for everything you have done for her so far.

[Phil]

Thanx! guys...i have spelled things out too her...she's in no way mentally impaired so she understands...and her grandson just dont wanna know!Social services cant force her to move into a residential home etc because she has her mental faculties...tho they provide a home-help (next too useless) and a nurse to empty her kimode (sp) short of really hurtin her feelins i cant see any other way of gettin rid (for lack of a better word) would be a whole lot easier if i knew she weren't gonna be goin without a cooked meal in the evenin but anyhoo i'll see what tomorrow brings

[fjp999]

Will ya cook me a meal and take me for a wheely when I am old and feeble

How does that expression go? No good deed goes unrewarded

That is how my dad got a nearly new car for $1 and I got this lovely little house... we werent expecting anything but...

Seems your old bird is just using ya and taking advantage of your kind

I dont know what youre gonna do about your and conscious knowing the old bitch aint got a decent family to take care of her. I bet she dont got no sense of humor either... I might continue doing all if it was an old gay man with a sense of humor to get us by but with some stupid c*nt I would be so steaming the family would do well to keep me away from her

ya well know how my matey been treating me but I would forgive him at any moment if he asked me to and it would all be forgotten as that is what HE needs and what I do best...

and since ya say she is more than capable of grasping the concept that youre done with her and her lot but keeps begging on your good conscious... well, this is what I would do. I would follow Woolfies advice but do it down in writing and CC her family and Social Services and maybe the police.

I would go into great detail of how she asked you to help out and you did for whatever period of time including that she got the family next door who only comes to rip her off and call on you to do all...

Might give the family a wake up call and the officials something to look out for.

Guess USA is a bit more set up for this kinda thing. We have Meals On Wheels for the elderly... delivering hot meals daily.

Well, that is all I can say at the moment as my brain just died

best of luck my BEMOFF

btw: commode

[Phil]

Will ya cook me a meal and take me for a wheely when I am old and feeble

As if ya even needa ask....just bang yer knife and fork i'll feed ya while i push!

I have gone with the FUCK OFF! approach...i went to see her tonight..she had the cheek to ask "what about next monday"
The meals on wheels thang she refused a few times and they dont come to her anymore ....and i sooooooo lol'd at the btw:commode! <---- would ya believe i googled the spellin of that earlier

[fjp999]

As if ya even needa ask....just bang yer knife and fork i'll feed ya while i push!

I know there is gonna be a need for a strong safety belt with this little scenario

[Phil]

I know there is gonna be a need for a strong safety belt with this little scenario

Dood i'll totally pimp yer chair! We'll have a gay old time!

[fjp999]

We'll have a gay old time!

CAN WE GO ON A CRUISE TOO

[Phil]

Only if i can attach saddle bags full of weed and alcomohol too yer chair...(its like cans of spinach too me) could push ya all day long then :tongue: