Finally Moved Away From Home... and Hating It.

[meridannight]

i never had roommates, not even in college. (i did live in one of my friend's apartment once and sometimes she would stay there as well, but that arrangement was for a short period, and only confirmed that i had done it right by not sharing my living spaces with anybody). i am in full control of my home, there will be no co-decision-making. unless you're in a relationship with me, that's never gonna happen.

you shouldn't put up with what you don't like. however, i am fairly certain you will come out as the losing party if you have this argument with your housemates. i assume they're college-age kids? all kids that age will want to do, is have parties with a lot of friends and not so friends (anybody willing to show up, really), stay up all night, etc etc. you're not gonna convince them otherwise, no matter how good your case is. even if they try to be reasonable and take your wishes into consideration, the house is full of other people who don't know you or the situation, don't care. it will get out of hand one way or another. you can't control that type of situation.

it's a basic compatibility issue, and you are not compatible with people you're living together with. you need to move out of there, more so because of your medical condition. staying in there long term will only make it worse. unless you make friends and are open to adapt your life style to theirs.

Sleeping is a bit dangerous for me. I have to be hooked up to a machine that pumps a certain liquid in me that keeps me alive. If something goes wrong or the machine malfunctions, I'll die. I've been in several comas throughout my life because of such things.

and this should take precedence over everything else. while i understand desire for independence, you have to understand that with a condition like that you can never fully be left on your own. somebody needs to be there to check on you every night. are these kids the people you trust with you life?

[LJay]

I do wish you would adopt a screen name and let us know a little about yourself, at least how old you are and what state or city you live in. This site is hardly likely to identify you. It would just help to have a little context. It would also allow folks here to form an impression of you as an individual and not just whoever posts as anonymous. Guys around here don't bite.

Being in school, two jobs is a lot.

You definitely have to sit down with the other guys and make it clear that the trash has to be picked up and that the kitchen and bathroom have to be clean. How they keep their own rooms is their business. You should also make it clear about what to do in case of a problem with you health, like whether to call your mom or 911 or what.

Even though it is all a very big step to take, you do need to learn how to live away from home. Keep in mind that you are responsible for you. It is OK to go a separate way from the other guys, but it is also OK to hang out with them. The choice is yours. Having roommates is not necessarily easy but you can use it to learn how to deal with other people. You may even make a real friend or two.

Good luck with the challenges. If you put your mind to it things will smooth out.

[CellarDweller]

What's happening to you is happening because you have bad roommates, not because you stayed home too long.

I stayed home until was 40. I simply had no affordable housing in my area. I've now been in my own place for awhile, and love it. I (however) was able to afford living alone.

Are you able to move back home? Did you sign a lease?

[Darius]

I hate to bring this up, but your autism is probably playing a role in your difficulty living in a new environment. You need a sense of control and familiarity, am I right? Even life was not perfect at home with your mother, it was familiar and you had the power and ability to keep it clean. Now you are living with people who don't have to listen to you and they are letting other strangers in the apartment, further invading your space. With autism, transition has to be gradual and as stress free as possible.

Good luck. Move back home.

[himself]

I don't think that this is the same person who made the thread about his mother misbehaving. He opens with the fact that he and his mother are 'close'. The person who made the other thread said that he and his mother don't get along.

Leaving home is difficult. I haven't mastered it, yet. When I first left home, I kept crying (maybe too much alcohol / nicotine and not enough food / sleep - the cure is more alcohol and nicotine). Then, after a few weeks, part of you dies and you stop caring. Just hang on in there!

Your medical condition seems like a burden and I have never had to deal with anything like that before, but maybe you'll feel more confident if you can prove to yourself that you can take care of yourself, without needing your mother or brother's supervision. Maybe once you start to feel in control of your health, you'll feel safer.

As for your friends, maybe you should leave a few passive aggressive notes around. E.g. "Hi. I noticed the house was a bit untidy. I don't know how you did things at home but in this house, we clean up after ourselves. Lol "

[Cobalt]

Without reading the responses I'm going to assume my response will be against the majority but it's how I feel so I'm going to say it.
Please, move back home. It sounds like you're really not happy with your situation and I believe if you aren't happy, do what is going to make you happy. When I moved out of the house and in with my partner, I was sad for the first hour. After that, I have been the happiest I have ever been and never looked back since. If you are miserable and this feeling continues, please just move back home.

I'm sorry about your medical condition and if I were you I never would have moved out. It sounds to me like your friends don't really care about you, they wanted someone else to help with rent money and you were available. You are replaceable in their eyes. Your friends don't care about you, your family seems to. Go with those who love you and who you literally can (and have been) trust(ing) with your life. Your fucking friends (sorry for my language) can't even keep a god damn house clean, you're going to trust them with your life? Please...move back home. I understand you wanted your independence and wanted to feel like an adult but this was not the time/situation to do it.

Don't have a sense of shame if you do decide to go back home. Your friends should be the one ashamed, as I said, I honestly don't believe they care about you. They needed an extra body and extra paycheck in the house and you were available. If you died in your sleep tomorrow they would find someone else, as they will if you decide to move back home. Do what you feel is best.

[Darius]

himself, check his post history and his join date. Same Anonymous.

[himself]

himself, check his post history and his join date. Same Anonymous.

There is a shared Anonymous account.

[Cridders88]

himself, check his post history and his join date. Same Anonymous.

Darius, that is not how the Anonymous works. Anyone can post under the Anonymous account. The Autistic poster you are referring to's last post indicates he is still at his mum's. They aren't the same person.

Confusing I know

[matty7]

go back home where you are happy mate ..right now - you can handle the medical side of your life...you have so far and that's not my concern anyway - who says you are supposed to leave the life you are happy with to live like a pig .. if that's not in you personality to be accepting these strangers into your life to party then go back home , you can do everything you want to achieve right there - yea you can get used to away from home - but are you that person ? if not then look after yourself first