I have a crush on my neighbor! ...part 2

[East]

Friends,
An update and a significant development...

So I asked this man out maybe two months ago. Still no date. He DID get back to me about coffee/tea maybe three days after I asked him. He explained he doesn't like either all that much, except decaf tea.

I try a couple more times--how about that drink, when is good, etc... Gets back to me the night before I suggested we meet up, saying he is sick and can't. I tell him I hope he feels better. He thanks me and begins a conversation with me (all via text, which isn't my preferred method but he was sick and probably didn't feel like using his voice anyway). We discuss relationships, social lives, etc... I'm surprised he's actually in a dialogue with me.

I offer to bring him some chamomile and cough drops. He says that would be nice. I brew him some tea, get a little care package together, and bring it down to him. He seems really thankful when I see him. I jokingly say "that's my favorite mug, so you can give it back when we finally hang out!" We text a couple more times, and he says how nice it was of me to do that for him.

That was all a week ago, and I haven't heard from him since. I've talked to friends and family and they agree that after that chivalrous gesture the ball is most certainly in his court. The thing is...

I've started seeing someone else. And he's awesome, and I just know that if this neighbor gets back to me and we do end up getting together and things go well... I would be totally onboard with the neighbor, and disregard this wonderful man I'm currently seeing.

I feel like a player, which is not my style and I know I'm such a huge jerk... And the one guy's my neighbor... It is an overall uncomfortable situation for me. If I wasn't so head over heels, it wouldn't be so bad...

So the ball's in his court, but DAMN, I just want to know if he's interested at all. I'm going to just ask him if I see him around, because this is costing me too much mental energy. I also want my mug back...

Til next time!

OUCH!....BUT...it's a good ouch..because you are honest about it. Owning your shit is a good thing...

PS...years of experience tells me Mr Hard To Get wouldn't be worth it...but sometimes it is an important lesson that needs to be learned in the process so we do what we have to do. I always remember The Thorn Birds...I learned alot from that book...

PSS...don't let Mr Right Now Awesome ever read this....

[Anocxu]

Friends,
An update and a significant development...

So I asked this man out maybe two months ago. Still no date. He DID get back to me about coffee/tea maybe three days after I asked him. He explained he doesn't like either all that much, except decaf tea.

I try a couple more times--how about that drink, when is good, etc... Gets back to me the night before I suggested we meet up, saying he is sick and can't. I tell him I hope he feels better. He thanks me and begins a conversation with me (all via text, which isn't my preferred method but he was sick and probably didn't feel like using his voice anyway). We discuss relationships, social lives, etc... I'm surprised he's actually in a dialogue with me.

I offer to bring him some chamomile and cough drops. He says that would be nice. I brew him some tea, get a little care package together, and bring it down to him. He seems really thankful when I see him. I jokingly say "that's my favorite mug, so you can give it back when we finally hang out!" We text a couple more times, and he says how nice it was of me to do that for him.

That was all a week ago, and I haven't heard from him since. I've talked to friends and family and they agree that after that chivalrous gesture the ball is most certainly in his court. The thing is...

I've started seeing someone else. And he's awesome, and I just know that if this neighbor gets back to me and we do end up getting together and things go well... I would be totally onboard with the neighbor, and disregard this wonderful man I'm currently seeing.

I feel like a player, which is not my style and I know I'm such a huge jerk... And the one guy's my neighbor... It is an overall uncomfortable situation for me. If I wasn't so head over heels, it wouldn't be so bad...

So the ball's in his court, but DAMN, I just want to know if he's interested at all. I'm going to just ask him if I see him around, because this is costing me too much mental energy. I also want my mug back...

Til next time!

I dunno..
I'm starting to think you might be a sucker for guys that make you do nothing but
Try..
Try..
Try..
Try..

See ..
That's one way for someone to exploit your good intentions.

Wouldn't It be interesting if the new guy you are seeing now ended up in this forum.. then starts a thread entitled.

"He seems as if he's into me but he's distracted"

Have considered this..
Your neighbour is inconsistent because he is interested in someone else?

Considering how sensitive you are...wouldn't it be easier and less chaotic if you focused on one guy at a time?
You're really setting yourself up ...
Back and fourth..
Neighbour .. new guy..

Keep it simple..

[MikeW]

...So the ball's in his court, but DAMN, I just want to know if he's interested at all. ...

Actions speak way louder than words. His actions are very clear statements: Not that in to you. Trust me, if he was, you'd know it by now.

You need to stop fantasizing about your neighbor. Seriously. Or, if you'r going to have him as a fantasy, make sure you keep it at just that, no designs to actually get something going. As [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] said, experience suggests anyone who isn't *equally responsive and interested* in us isn't worth much.

[MFax74]

I know you guys are right about this and have the experience to back up your advice. I'm young and dumb and proud, and it all did get to me and still probably will for the near future.

I will still talk to him if I see him around soon, asking if he's interested or not. But the fact is that I am seeing someone, who is amazing, and I need to accept that the focus should be on him and me.

With my mind, this is all easier said than done. I don't have your gumption with the low year-count over here, so stuff still gets to me. You can't advise younger folks and expect them to have the same understanding as you... But I am trying to understand, so that's a start.

I still want my mug back...

Peace.

[Anocxu]

I'm young and dumb and..

armed with a loaded gun full of cum?

May I clarify an itching thought?

Are you the ambitiously persistent type?..
as in
"if you want it you gotta have it"..?

Honestly..
I kinda feel your taking the participating members in this thread on your wild goose chase..

Why did I say that?
This thread has become about two guys.

There is one that wants you .. and then there is another that you want...

~>CHAOS

I'm Hopping off this roller coaster..

Not sure if it makes a difference but..
You'll have my support when you make a firm decision.

[Edward]

You can find yourself someone a lot better, trust me.

[MikeW]

... You can't advise younger folks and expect them to have the same understanding as you... But I am trying to understand, so that's a start...

I appreciate such honesty. Seriously. And you're right.... everyone has to learn from their own experiences. Sure we can give advice but that's all we can do. After that it is up to you (meaning anyone) to use it or not. And, for sure, when I was young I was always having crushes on guys who were inappropriate one way and another. Not available to me. And even knowing this didn't stop that from happening. To some extent I think its just how we're wired.

So, if you're trying to understand... that right there is a lot so far as I'm concerned.

[Camfer]

Time to find a new favorite mug!