How to forget a crush and self esteem problem?

[ven91]

Hi all, i'm from Italy and i've been reading forums on RJ for a while, but this is my very first post, and i wanted some advices because this thing is really bugging me.

I try to keep it brief,
so, basically last March i met this 36yo guy (let's call him A.) on a gay chat, he was really my type, and we messaged a lot on whatsapp, and i found out he was also witty and clever, so we decided to meet up in person for an aperitivo that weekend.
On friday night, i went clubbing with a friend, and there unexpectedly I meet A in the toilet hallway, i was really drunk, so was he, i just gibber something and went for shots with my friend, then i turned around and saw A. making out with my other friend!
So the following day, i added him up on fb, and that night we met, and i found him really charming, and ended up having sex at my place.

NOTE: that was my first time! i was 22yo btw, i was really curious and i liked him a lot.

the next morning, he texted me a lotta emoticons and cute messages, and the days passed, just getting to know each others and having fun.
He is like a 36yo wolf, who is only into youngers, he has some issues with his past love-hate ralationship, and he was seeing a shrink for that.
To a normal person that would have been a big red sign alert, but all of this just made me like him even more.

NOTE: he also said he was not sure about if he would like having a boyfriend (so he thought :x), so basically it was a fwb situation.

I introduced him to my friends, went clubbing together (and he sometimes made out with other guys, while i was there)...
All of my friends were kinda suspicious about him.
I also met a friend of him, and basically figured out, a lot of his friends were originally his hookups.
And i tried to stay away from him some times, being aloof, but i always ended up meeting with him and believing him saying i was cute, and that he was into me and stuff.

The problem started when during a night, both tipsy, i ended up blabbing to him about some deep issues of mine, and i felt he could understand me, felt him even closer to me.
But then 1 month later, i went to London for a 5day-holiday and when i got back he was really aloof, and stand-offish.
He told me he met another guy and did not want things to get complicated.

Since then we met a couple of times, giving me this feeling of him leaving him hanging, i was just a spineless being hoping, inside of me, he would choose me.

And so in May, i see a pic of him together with this other guy, He also updated his Grindr status to "committed" and then "partnered", and they have dating ever since, until last month. (i guess)
(In May i unfriended him on fb)

I spent an awful summer, checking out his Instagram, and comparing myself to that new hipster guy (i know, worst thing to do).

On halloween night, i met both of them at the club, just said "hi" and felt like shit, comparing myself to the guy.
The following day, A. texted me saying "he's sorry i unfriended him on fb, and that he would be open to have a chat if we meet again by chance".
I ended by replying "i don't have any interest in collecting ppl on fb, and that if we meet by chance i'll just say "hi" etc.

The thing is that he kept logging in chat kinda everyday even though he was in a relationship, AND lately he deleted his Grindr account.
So my mind just went psyco, and thought they might have broken up or something.

If you ever saw "500 Days of Summer" , this whole thing was kinda a gay version of that movie, me being Tom.
I was a completely naive puppy boy who ended up falling in love with an older player; the first guy that came around and liked me and that later got into a relationship with another guy.
And ever since i just had some casual fun to distract myself, i had self esteem issues, and i have not been able to focus on my studies.

What should i do? :?
ps: sorry for any mistake, english is not my first language.

[Darius]

I think the best thing you could do is just what you have done: you have seen him, yourself and the situation for what it is/was. He was a wolf and you were the prey. You fell for him but he is probably not capable of loving another person. Don't make the mistake of falling for him again when he breaks up with his bf (and he will) because you will just get hurt again. He has too much baggage for you to help him carry. He needs professional help.

You will move on and hopefully learn from this experience. That will bring healing, I think.

[Camfer]

He was a trick, not a FWB. Learn to distinguish between the two.

[Rareboy]

He's over. Move on.

You can be friendly but based on what you've written...I don't think you can ever again be friends.

[edhued]

Don't beat yourself down because of something you did... Just try to move on. I think he is just a basic player, I hope you don't fall for him again. The best thing you can do is really move on and try to forget about him. Don't put your mind/time in someone who doesn't deserve it, because believe me it will drag you down.

Take it as a lesson and hopefully it won't happen again.