I'm so glad you're in a better space..
Friendships are tough...
Man I could tell you some stories! !
I guess maturity and experience has more to do with his behavior over age..
You're a tough guy..
You go all in..!!
Tough but with a giant heart.!!
No time for nonsense! !
Should your new best friend look like this?
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verysimple Wrote:Yeah, It wasn't like all of them at once, I just stopped talking to them gradually until I no longer spoke to any of them.. I've had that happen to me more than once.. So, I guess I'm used to it!
I have a couple of friends with whom I am completely open. Thing is; I guess I got fed up of hiding my true self, I just wanna let go and just be... which is complicated to do here even though it is simple.
Yeah, I can completely understand why you opened up to him. Happy that you do at least have a couple people you can be open with. Must be so tough.
So you think you'll just leave it then?
EDIT: seen your comment above
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Better to have fewer friends anyway. Easier.
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Anocxu Wrote:I'm so glad you're in a better space..
Friendships are tough...
Man I could tell you some stories! !
I guess maturity and experience has more to do with his behavior over age..
You're a tough guy..
You go all in..!!
Tough but with a giant heart.!!
No time for nonsense! !
Should your new best friend look like this?
U just described me spot on. I love people but I have no tolerance for bullshit! When things happen I call people on their shit right away, which to some people they think it is over exaggerated and dramatic.. Some people actually called me that I am a drama queen. But how am I when I just tell someone what they've been doing and what they gotta do to fix it or stop it. Ofcourse I'm talking about their actions involving me... In the end of the day, they're not me and all they do is project their personality and behaviors onto me.
Hey, you got some stories? Share the good! I'm all ears.
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Cridders88 Wrote:Yeah, I can completely understand why you opened up to him. Happy that you do at least have a couple people you can be open with. Must be so tough.
So you think you'll just leave it then?
EDIT: seen your comment above
Yeah, usually I wouldn't and I would confront him. But since the guys told me to leave him and act as if he doesn't exist *Which he doesn't to me* and they sound more rational anyway ... lol it is tough, but am just focusing on my goal right now and isolating myself from all the other obstacles. No time to think about them.
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Anocxu Wrote:Aw man..
This is awful..
On the other hand you are too angry right now to make any rational decisions.
The friendship was really fast.. I can understand that.. but now you know first hand ..trust takes time.
Your best option at this point is to leave him alone..
~>Do absolutely nothing<~
No contact, No walk byes, no eye contact, No text, No Facebook, Twitter etc.
No need to be agressive..
The reasoning behind my instructions above?
He probably thought you wanted him...?
Now .. I won't get into the subject of his insecurities ...
But I will say..I am concerned about yours. .
Planning a defensive counter attack ..? Too much chaos.
For now.. let it go!..
Whatever you say or do might present you to be a bitter guy rejected by a hot piece of ass... :-p
Yeah..
I've seen your post..
I understand there may be a build up in disappointment considering you keep reaching out for friendships or relationships that seem to try your patience..
so for now..
You're stuck with us...
:-P
I am in total agreement with Anocxu on this one ....like he said...doing absolutely nothing, etc. would be the best for this situation. I had a friend who was in my life since I came out as a gay man and for years I had thought this was the one guy who truly had my back no matter what as I have always had his....however, several years ago...I found out what others had been trying to tell me about him for years. The thing is ....my last two boyfriends did not care for him from immediate introduction and if I ever really argued with them was mostly in part of my defending him to them. Surprisingly enough...I had discovered that he had tried to come on to both of them behind my back and the both of them had came back to inform me of his actions.
This one time in particular was when me and one boyfriend were in the dating phase of our relationship and this one evening of getting to know each other much better...My potential guy pulled out this card which included all of my so called friend contact information and asking him out. My guy told me about the incident while giving me my ex friend's contact card. At that time...we both reside in the same condominium property and the following morning while going to run errands, I ran into this asshole in the parking lot. He had approached as if everything was fine and after exchanging greetings with him...he asked me how did my night go with my guy??...I responded with how we had such a wonderful time and how we are really getting close. After that response...this is when I pulled out the card and told him "By the way....Matt gave me this last night and wanted me to give this back to you because he felt that the more time he spends with me...he has no need to pursue anyone else"...and I did this with a smile on my face. Of course, as my fairy gay parents loved to say..."His face broke " right there in the parking lot and he was taken so off guard that he could not give any kind of response since he was BUSTED!!! and kept his distance from me for several months...However, before the so called friendship was totally dissolved....it was never the same anymore...and honestly....I rarely, rarely think of him...sometimes ...situations such as mine and what you are experiencing are blessings in disguise for someone much better to come into your life ...so think of it as getting rid of clutter to make room for something or someone awesome to enter your life....
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JohnSomebody Wrote:I am in total agreement with Anocxu on this one ....like he said...doing absolutely nothing, etc. would be the best for this situation. I had a friend who was in my life since I came out as a gay man and for years I had thought this was the one guy who truly had my back no matter what as I have always had his....however, several years ago...I found out what others had been trying to tell me about him for years.
*Sigh*
Our stories , history ...it really is one extension of the next..
Just like you [MENTION=22709]JohnSomebody[/MENTION] I started this crusade against
~>Chaos: ..It honestly the definition of time wasting...
Not like hanging out and passing time .. but putting constant effort into details that in turn will cause heartache on your part.
[MENTION=21000]verysimple[/MENTION]
It took John years to really believe this seemingly awesome guy was a nightmare..
He just couldn't see it..
..so many of us spend so much time doing amazing things for awful people..
I'm so glad we are stuck here forever so we can lean on each other ... without stalking..
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verysimple Wrote:U just described me spot on. I love people but I have no tolerance for bullshit! When things happen I call people on their shit right away, which to some people they think it is over exaggerated and dramatic.. Some people actually called me that I am a drama queen. But how am I when I just tell someone what they've been doing and what they gotta do to fix it or stop it. Ofcourse I'm talking about their actions involving me... In the end of the day, they're not me and all they do is project their personality and behaviors onto me.
Hey, you got some stories? Share the good! I'm all ears.
Calling people on their shit is good if they are people that are either important to you, or people you are forced to interact with regularly, eg. colleagues.
But when it is someone not so close, or someone you do not have to involve yourself with, then chasing after them to "make them pay" or "make them fix it" is the act of seeking drama. Especially because you can't actually make people do anything, no matter how wrong you believe they are. You can ask, but you cannot make. The only person you have control over is you, and you need to make the best choices for yourself. And usually these involve just letting people go. Be more laidback. Leave the drama behind. What can YOU do differently? You say these people project their personalities on you. We are all responsible for doing a little of that. How do you project yours? What made you come out to him so soon? To trust someone new with your private information.
For most assholes, I just cut them off. Not worth my time or energy. It takes a better man to walk away.
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verysimple Wrote:.. but that's how kids act right? Dude's like 19.. He's gotta grow up I guess. But that's none of my business...
FFS, you're 20.
O.o
verysimple Wrote:We kept hanging out and we were cool until one day I called him and it turned out that he blocked me on his phone which was weird.
It might be weird, but it's also not the whole story. If you actually didn't say or do anything, he must have gotten a very bad vibe from you.
Darius Wrote:Threatening him seems like a bad idea. It might even make things worse.
verysimple Wrote:Haha, u k me 2 well..
... like the one I'm getting...
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"An eye for an eye... a tooth for a tooth...".
Revenge and retaliation, in the name of "fairness", was kinda invented in your region of the planet. Smiting each other isn't going to solve anything.
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