Hello everyone, I need help and am very confused.

[TheLonelyPerson]

Hi everybody, I'm John.

I live in the city of Liverpool in the UK (home of The Beatles! :-) ) I am 20 years old as of yesterday as it is now the 4th in the UK, I am not sure if I am gay but I think I am and would like some opinions and some help! Well it starts like this for a while now I have always wanted someone caring, passionate, loving, hugging, etc. In my life, I have been looking for these traits in women my whole life but recently, well, just a few minutes ago I started pondering to myself having another man in my life with these traits someone who would hold me and hug me when I am sad, I have suffered with depression and anxiety for a while now since school because of bullying, I was always different to other kids and naturally, I was shunned from everybody, I was already a vulnerable person before this but since I have been extremely vulnerable, easily upset, I am a little bit pudgy and a huge computer nerd and a huge audiophile! I love music, it's how I escape the world and troubles around me.

That's all I can really think of for my introduction/ help... I am very scared right now and don't know what to do or if I should tell my family and how I should, the only thing that makes me slightly feel okay about telling them is the fact that my auntie is a lesbian.

I'm sat in my living room with my laptop crying right now and feel like I need a hug.

Thanks for reading!!!

[Feathers]

Welcome to GS, John! We sound fairly alike, although where you like music, I prefer books. I really, really hope that you can find the support you need on our site, and if you need anything, feel free to drop me a message.

It's okay to be scared. I never thought of my coming out as a big thing, I've never felt the need to announce it I simply decided to be myself and let what people thought go to hell, to this day, no one has approached me over it and I've never experienced anything but support from the people that knew.

I think confiding in your Auntie may help you, and she'll have a lot of insight that will help you massively... she went through these feelings of doubt as well, plus she'll know you better than we do

[Meebs]

welcome to GS. We are here for you.

[Anocxu]

Hello and welcome..

Tears of loneliness?
Or tears of confusion?

[TheLonelyPerson]

Hi guys!

Thank you for the support and kind word's, I am very shy person and I'm glad to feel welcomed, I was crying for both reasons I think, I would love books, if I could read them, haha! I find it very hard to read due to my learning disability, I will talk to my auntie the next time I get, she might be able to introduce me to someone but it may be a while she is recovering from cancer and is going trough chemo she has been very strong and has been a real inspiration to me! I must admit thinking about searching for a partner of the same sex feels so right to me, and I'm glad I've gotten this off my chest.

Thanks.

[Feathers]

Audiobooks are just as good as books and it's easy to relax when listening to them, as an audiophile you may appreciate them more.

[jimcrackcorn]

Welcome to the forum!!! Glad you are here..

Now,, lets take a look at your sexuality........ Do you think you are more physically attracted to men than to women? Do you feel that you are more emotionally attracted to men than women?

Not everybody is homosexual, or heterosexual.. Some fall in between and are bisexual. And within those three ranges, you could be between them. Example: You are more physically attracted to women, but do find a few men physically attractive on rare occasions.

Your emotional or physical attractions are what will guide you to the answer you seek. Do a little sole searching and figure out where you are.

Sincerely,
Jim

[TheLonelyPerson]

Hi, Jim.

I must admit I have never been sexually attracted to women, I always saw porn as something almost disgusting too, while I think women are nice people, I would definatley take someone who would protect me and hold me any day, I am also a submissive I always back down and kinda want someone who would be dominant over me but also like I said kind, caring, understanding, loving, etc. Audiobooks I never thought of that though I do listen to creepy stories on youtube! another favorite pastime!

[Insertnamehere]

1)

2) Welcome to GS

3) If you are confused, then take the pragmatic approach, ask yourself these questions and answer them

3a) Do you find women sexually attractive?
3b) Do you find men sexually attractive?

I will pause a bit here and explain. For most people, their sexuality is easily indentifiable by sexual/physical attraction. The only confusion that could come regarding these questions would be from denial.

At this point you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, but take the time and answer these questions to yourself with the truth. With facts. If you have had some form of sexual attraction before, you know it already.

This is the first thing I adress, since you don't speak about it at all. It's the easier way to find out and rid yourself of the confusion.

Of course, there could be the case of you being asexual or something on that area. That can be more complicated.

3c) Do you find yourself easily attracted to women emotionally?
3d) the same as above, but now for men.

Emotional attraction is a trickier thing. It can be romantic, it can be fraternal. Emotional attraction, when it's not on a romantic level, doesn't mean you are this or that sexuality. More over, you can be straight and still having that one guy that's more than a friend to you and yet not having it mean you want to have him as a romantic partner.

So, emotional attractions CAN be a big source of confusion.

Try and answer the questions and put that answer an adjective...is it romantic? is it friendly? Try and with the overall results

I find it very telling that you are searching for that emotional aspect of a partner, and granted, some of your confusion may stme from the fact that those traits you seek don't come from a particular gender, but they are traits any one person, male or female, can have.

So you have to use more variable that just those traits, in order to rid yourself of confusion, like the ones I mentioned above. It may help you to answer such simple questions.

[TheLonelyPerson]

I would say romantic something about finding the perfect person who would be all of the above would be lovely I find myself attracted to both sexually I think, my problem is I have one or two fetishes that don't help the situation, but going off what I'm thinking I would be more happy with another man, someone strong and who could provide, I am weak and vulnerable you see.