New here and a bit confused

[confuseddallas]

I'm new here....from Dallas, Texas. 35, female, divorced.

Basically I have never enjoyed sex with men. I've had sex with only one woman and it was OK, not great, but that could have been due to any number of reasons.

People have suggested to me that I might be gay because it isn't just that I don't enjoy sex with men. I dislike it. In fact I dread it. At best it's something to endure...at worst it's a painful experience that leaves me sore and chafed for days. I've never had a male partner who could make my eyes roll back in my head through penetrative sex. Sorry if this is TMI for my introductory post...I'm new here.

On the other hand I'm not attracted to women either. I'm not attracted to ANYONE, that's the problem. If I was attracted to women I'd have my answer. But I'm not attracted to men or women...it's like I have no libido whatsoever. Hence the confusion.

[stephanie stephens]

Welcome to GaySpeak. All I can say about your situation is wow, I would be confused too. Could there be a medical explanation for your "condition"? Anyway welcome aboard.

[marshlander]

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry that what you describe is well outside my own experience, but you are welcome to discuss your thoughts and feelings further if it helps you work things out. Whatever, I hope you will find the site interesting enough to stick around and join in some of the discussions too. We do have some medically qualified people among our contributors so maybe one of them will have something more useful to say regarding your personal situation.

You didn't say specifically (since most of us are men here you may need to spell it out ) but, confusion aside, is it a problem for you that you are not interested in sex? Do you feel sex is something you ought to want, or is it more that it is a bit tiresome having to deal with the expectations of other people?

[confuseddallas]

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry that what you describe is well outside my own experience, but you are welcome to discuss your thoughts and feelings further if it helps you work things out. Whatever, I hope you will find the site interesting enough to stick around and join in some of the discussions too. We do have some medically qualified people among our contributors so maybe one of them will have something more useful to say regarding your personal situation.

You didn't say specifically (since most of us are men here you may need to spell it out ) but, confusion aside, is it a problem for you that you are not interested in sex? Do you feel sex is something you ought to want, or is it more that it is a bit tiresome having to deal with the expectations of other people?

It's not a problem for me, though society seems to think it is so I guess it's yes to both of your questions...it's something I "should" want and it's tiresome having to deal with other peoples' expectations!

Welcome to GaySpeak. All I can say about your situation is wow, I would be confused too. Could there be a medical explanation for your "condition"? Anyway welcome aboard.

So far no doctor has figured anything out. I'm "normal". :frown:

[James]

The old 60's deal was if it feels good do it, but by the same token if it doesn't don't. Hi and welcome no expectations just friendship is good, Jim

[OrphanPip]

You could be asexual. Or maybe you just haven't found what works for you.

Anyway, welcome to the forum.