Reasons to end a relationship

[koseku]

Hello, i had my first relationship for 2 years and it ended like four months ago because he just wanted to leave me. After that, i have been thinking why he left me, i'm just struggling with this thought. So can you tell me what could be the reasons to end a relationship?

He didnt leave me for:

-Bad sexual life
-Too much argueing
-Not seeing each other often
-Age difference
-Disease
-Personality changes
-Family pressure
-Being homophobic
...

These are all the reason comes to my mind, but he said none of them are the reasons to leave me. He doesn't know why he wanted to leave me too, i thought it was a perfect relationship for my part.

So what could be the reason if none of these are to end a relationship? May be some experienced guys can find out

[Cridders88]

I have never been in a proper relationship, but I do know that people's feelings can change, and there doesn't always have to be a reason for that. I know it's hard, but try not to beat yourself up about this. It's not going to help you in any way x

[Insertnamehere]

Feelings can be fleeting. That's about it. It sucks but you can't really do much about it other than letting it go and looking forward to someone else.

[CellarDweller]

If he left you without giving a reason, there's not much left you can do but accept it and move on. Trying to figure it out will only make it more confusing for you, and in a way, keep you tied to him.

[Scootaloo]

[starlight]

I hope to never end a relationship, having never had any in any shape or form but i do hope some day someone hold me in a loving way.

[koseku]

I think it is a matter of character. He always told me he is not a "relationship guy" he said that he can't believe our relationship lasted two years long. But for my opinion, he was my possible husband... I don't know what he wants inside, i ask him what to do when you get older, that don't you want a life companion, he said no, i will die alone. I just don't get it, why would someone want a life like this?

[InbetweenDreams]

I don't get that either, not much help there but I left someone about 5 years ago (mind you a bit younger) because he failed to take job searching seriously and began to use me. Finally he made a fool of himself in front of realtives of mine and took huge gulps of everclear straight from the bottle (he was showing off) of course he quickly became obnoxiously drunk and got touchy feely with my mother to the point that my uncle and dad were getting quite pissed....talk about a bad situation...of course in hindsight the relationship was doomed from the start.

Getting more on point, I personally don't see why someone would want to die alone, but I suppose there are just as many people seeking companionship as there are those who aren't or don't care about it. I can't picture myself falling out of love with someone unless they did something profound enough to make me feel that way...in other words I don't picture myself waking up and suddenly not loving the person I'm with. Although I haven't had enough experience with relationships and the roller coaster of emotions they usually bring to really wrap my head around. People are strange and as hurtful of an experience that clearly is, definitely don't dwell on it, clearly wasn't anything you did wrong or something you could have prevented.

[koseku]

I ask him all time why he left me, he finally came up with a reason: "we couldn't do much together, i am more social with other guys now" this pisses me off because he was the one who always didn't want to go out with me because he was ashamed of "being gay in public" although we hanged out as "friends". i think he just created a fake reason and he was already bored of me, he said he cant last long relationships... i still feel injustice inside me, that i did nothing to end relationship, i didnt push him to change himself, always were behind him, didnt use him like you said... but in the end, even if you feel this relationship ended even without reason, and knowing that you will hurt your partner, would you fucking leave? this is so unfair, i feel unworthy anymore and see no reason to live

[AlfredM]

I think it is a matter of character. He always told me he is not a "relationship guy" he said that he can't believe our relationship lasted two years long. But for my opinion, he was my possible husband... I don't know what he wants inside, i ask him what to do when you get older, that don't you want a life companion, he said no, i will die alone. I just don't get it, why would someone want a life like this?

This reminded me of a post by a gay therapist.



I have to say,he knew who he was since the beginning,that he's not a "relationship guy". As much as you and I find it weird that some people would rather die alone than be with a life companion, they do exist. Unfortunately,he's one of them. I think he made up that last reason cause you kept digging it out of him. I'd say the real reason is just simply...he's not a "relationship guy".

Of course it is not fair to you,and I'd say to him too. Think of this in another way, would you rather he be with you despite his heart is not there? I'd think that is a worse situation to end up with. It's like when gay people marry opposite sex,his heart is not there,which undoubtedly has been proven will be miserable for both partners. Take it as a learning experience, one that each of us has to take to grow up and learn more about ourselves and the world. Like the saying, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before prince charming comes along. Don't beat up yourself cause of one failed relationship, you're so much worthier than that. Cheers.

Edit: I have to add here,maybe the next time a guy says something like what he said,you should take it as a red flag. Cause it kinda indicates that he's not gonna put as much effort as someone who's a "relationship guy" would. And that will just tire and frustrate you in the long run,being the one who always put more effort than your partner. Peace.