A long story about my biggest pain, venting and asking for advice at the same time

[LONDONER]

I'm glad that we collectively, have been able to provide you with some help. We're a friendly group here so keep on posting whenever you wish.

[Cuddly]

I cannot even imagine the pain you must have felt and still feel. I'm sorry for your loss.

Obviously, you're not to blame for his death.

Do you have an accepting family or some really close friends? It sounds like you need their company.
I don't think you should forget about him, but I think you should find something new to give your life meaning again. Be it a boyfriend, dog or hobby.

[Lacitis70]

Yes, I've people who have been by my side at all times and I know they support me but quite a long time is past and I know they've recovered from what happened and of course I don't blame them. I know you should recover as time goes on. But I can't. To me it seems like it only happened yesterday.

[AlfredM]

I am so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine the pain of losing someone that close. I hope that you could slowly fade your guilt as it was not your fault despite how it might look that way to you.

I've only lost people like my grandparents,uncles and an aunt. I do miss them, but I wasn't particularly very close to any of them, and some passed away when I was very little, but the memories of them remained and made me grateful to have them in my life.

From your story though, I kinda get the impression that you're still living right next to the collapse site. It's gonna be hard to move on if the constant reminder is just outside of your window. Have you ever considered to move somewhere else?

[Lacitis70]

I'd like nothing more than move away from the place. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to sell a four room apartment. I inherited it from my father and only very few people are looking for a place this big.

[valkyrie4488]

I'm very sorry for your loss, and you have my condolences. I've never been in a relationship yet, but I know how hard it was when my grandparent's who raised me passed, and you just have to keep the good times in mind as well as remember would your loved one really want you to remain sad. I know it can be hard, but the people we love will always be with us in our hearts and memories. Also, it's not your fault. There's no way you ever could have known. Your an amazing person, and I hope this helps only if even a little.

[meridannight]

i am sorry you had to go through this.

i haven't lost anybody close to me, so i can't give you advice on that one. have you thought about talking to a therapist? this is quite a normal thing to do in the 21st century. therapists probably have had patients who have gone through what you did and they have experience in that regard. you should at least try, i think.

[AlfredM]

I'd like nothing more than move away from the place. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to sell a four room apartment. I inherited it from my father and only very few people are looking for a place this big.

Maybe you could use the service of a real estate agent to sell or rent the place while you live somewhere else? I think it's a very important step for you to move on.

[Lacitis70]

Maybe you could use the service of a real estate agent to sell or rent the place while you live somewhere else? I think it's a very important step for you to move on.

I've thought about it lots of times, I guess it really looks like the best option for me.

[Anocxu]

I know they've recovered from what happened .

I know you should recover as time goes on. But I can't. .

I think your choice of words indicate the reason you are stuck in a loop.

We never recover when we lose someone.
What happens is.... We just get better at "Dealing with it"
We pick ourselves up.. we push ourselves forward.
This is just the law of survival. .
Your life cannot stop on account of losing someone .
That is not living.

I really don't think you understand there is a level of disregard and selfishness that has you locked .

Look at things this way..

~> Stop Blaming yourself for a coincidence.
~>If you were responsible for what happened you would be in prison.

~>Did you know you received a gift that so many of us will never have in this lifetime?
~>You had true love..
a very rare opportunity that you made the best of.
Why are you not grateful for that?
That in itself should make you a little happier than "I can't recover"

The reason you "Can't" move forward is...
~> You refuse to.

Do you think ..
*Living *Feeling Joyful..
*Experiencing new , Fun things..
^^^^
Do you think doing these things are a disservice to your late partner?

If he loves you as much as you know..
Wouldn't he want you to be happy?..

Have a theory regarding his presence,
Do you feel him with you?