Deal Breakers

[Insertnamehere]

-Smoking.....I can't handle that

-Drugs...I have no respect for that

-Lack of proper hygiene....you'll get sprayed with lysol and thrown through the door if you ain't a clean person.

As far as dating sites/apps go...why? He's supposed to be dating me, damn it! That's a no. I probably wouldn't mind if he's flirty with other people or checks out other guys, just as long as he remembers he has to return home to ME.

Cheating is most likely a causal for kick-in-the-butt-out-the-door

*sigh* and there's the whole topic of religion. It's not like I'll have a beef if you go to church, pray or anything as long as you keep it a personal thing and don't try to drag me into it. But there are certain aspects you just can't circumvent. I mean, what if you and your family are waiting for that nice church wedding? You'll have to kill me and drag my corpse there if you expect I'll go into a church and hear some priest saying whatever Bible crap about marriage...sorry, that ain't gonna happen.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well it has been 18 months since I quit smoking I feel so much better. I did used to smoke pot, stopped that about 18 months ago. I have no desire to do either. It is quite clear that if I had never started either I would be in much better health....now I have to really bust my ass to get back where I should be for being 29. So yep...no smokers and no druggies....

Religion, GLAD you brought that up. I have somewhat a unique belief system which is that I believe in a Creator, or a God or something. I like to ponder about such things but I feel that organized religion just has it wrong. Now if my partner were to be a Christian and went to church I can get over that and heck I wouldn't mind joining him just out of respect. But I do feel the same way I don't want to be smothered or feel that I'm being roped in. My beliefs change with time, I feel that something is valid then I'm sold. I don't accept to be spoon fed.

Hygiene... Most guys I have been around have kept themselves clean... But one thing I notice is how clean they keep their place. I always laugh when someone says their place is a mess and I could walk in and could eat off the floor. I'm not the neatest person by far, can be a bit sloppy at times, but I do pick up after myself. Back to hygiene...I shower everyday...if it is summer and I get all sweaty and crap make that 2 times a day. I also clean my butt area thoroughly lol.

I can be a bit lazy, procrastinate, put things off and so on, but I am getting a little better and I'm working to try to make good habits. I have a long way to go to be satisfied with myself in terms that I would be good husband material.

Ok so I'm going to digress for a minute...

Call me crazy but had sort of an out of the blue date night last night. We started to watch a movie and he had the dryer running and it stopped.... So he goes to get his clothes so they wouldn't wrinkle and I actually kind of felt bad for not running to help him with it...Maybe I'm overstepping boundaries here... The reason why I felt bad is I know he's been crazy busy, like almost not getting any sleep this week as he's finishing up projects for school... Of course I probably would have folded his clothes and stuff the wrong way... and hell I'm doing good not to let my stuff stay in a pile all week long lol

I feel like I need to go to husband training school

[Insertnamehere]

[MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION] maybe you could ask something like "do you need any help with that?" that way you won't be crossing any boundaries and you'll show you care!

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION] maybe you could ask something like "do you need any help with that?" that way you won't be crossing any boundaries and you'll show you care!

Haha I did I think I may have earlier offered to come over and do his dishes lol

Pesky butterflies I tell you...

[MFax74]

Call me crazy but had sort of an out of the blue date night last night. We started to watch a movie and he had the dryer running and it stopped.... So he goes to get his clothes so they wouldn't wrinkle and I actually kind of felt bad for not running to help him with it...Maybe I'm overstepping boundaries here... The reason why I felt bad is I know he's been crazy busy, like almost not getting any sleep this week as he's finishing up projects for school... Of course I probably would have folded his clothes and stuff the wrong way... and hell I'm doing good not to let my stuff stay in a pile all week long lol

I feel like I need to go to husband training school

You currently ARE in husband training school, I believe, if you are dating someone. Something like folding laundry, he probably didn't expect your help. I probably would ask "need a hand?" and just go with whatever he says.

To respond to the topic:
One deal breaker is dishonesty. Another one is a lack of willing communication about something on his mind.

[InbetweenDreams]

Dishonesty...hmm well depends on the nature...a little white lie say covering up that someone indulges themselves and bought something and said it was spend on something else or something like that...so one could avoid being fussed at.

Now lying about where one was last night...that is major and a major red flag. There are things I would allow...like the above...but when they're lying about something that might indicate they're being unfaithful or drug use or something major...I think we could surmise what most of those things would be...

I think as far as communication goes, it is good to express yourself. I also think it is good to have some restraint. There are things (which are probably good) that should be left unsaid. I think there is a balance. Now if were talking about someone not communicating because they're upset, didn't like what someone did and they're pouting about it...hmm I think it just depends...pushing someone to talk about something they don't want to talk about can really back fire. One of the things I learned from previous relationships is just giving people space...

Another deal breaker....STALKING people... There's nothing more creepy than being stalked.... Not talking about people peeking in your window at night...I would be calling the cops on that but... People do it on social media, dating apps...even communities like this. Just the constant harassment from someone who is so delusional that they think the persistence is going to win someone over. It doesn't even have to be anything major, just knowing that someone is repeatedly checking you out is kind of chilling...

I mean I have had crushes before and certainly am now, but if they pull back and go cold they probably aren't going to warm up to you. Its sad when someone doesn't have the same feelings for you but perseverance in this case is not pestering the shit out of someone, perseverance is letting them go.

[strider65]

insertnamehere, with all due respect

what drugs do you specify? am I not to take an aspirin if I have a headache? aspirin is a drug

not being disingenuous here... what do you mean by 'drugs'? I've gone up to get a cup of coffee for a former boyfriend because he needed caffeine to start his day

are there some that are acceptable and some not? alcohol is a drug, a glass of Dom Perignon on New Years Eve midnight would be considered 'drugs'?

just don't really like it when people use that term without being more specific.

[strider65]

axle it sounds like you are a human being...

in my own experience, you sound so eager to please another guy

what is he doing to please you?

a relationship is a partnership man... it's not all on you not to offend him, or to do for him

:-)

[1and1]

Chewing with one's mouth open. Is it a dump-able offense? No. But it is one that will quickly irritate the FUCK out of me. So if it is something done all the time? Yeah, I wouldn't be around for long. It's just not something I could tolerate long term.

Do you have Misophonia? I can't abide noises like that. It is almost a painful sensation. Along with things like slurping drinks, sucking fingers to clean them off after eating something, and other wet mouth-smacking noises, tutting. Actually unbearable.

[Insertnamehere]

insertnamehere, with all due respect

what drugs do you specify? am I not to take an aspirin if I have a headache? aspirin is a drug

not being disingenuous here... what do you mean by 'drugs'? I've gone up to get a cup of coffee for a former boyfriend because he needed caffeine to start his day

are there some that are acceptable and some not? alcohol is a drug, a glass of Dom Perignon on New Years Eve midnight would be considered 'drugs'?

just don't really like it when people use that term without being more specific.

Don't get cocky with a biochemist dude. With other folks, feel free to philosophize about it all you want.

I think it to be fairly obvious as to what kind of drugs one refers to when talking in non-specific terms.

Heroin, Cocaine, marihuana, LSD you name it. Those are a simple and blatant no.

As for other "socially acceptable" and legal drugs, if there's a problem, that's a no too. I'm not cut out to deal with damaging chemical addictions of any kind, be it sleeping pills or alcohol .