Working From Home

[Cobalt]

Quick Points Before I Start:
1) I have been debating starting this topic for months now for various reasons.
2) I was going to post this anonymously to avoid the ridicule but have decided, eh, bring it on.
3) This will most certainly turn into a too long, didn't read post. I'll try to make it fun.
4) I'm stalling by making so many "quick points" so I'll just get right into it...

Hi everybody. I don't know where to start here without turning it into a biography that's long and drawn out but I don't have much of a choice if I want to convey my situation correctly.

I don't quite know for sure what I want to do about working but I know what I don't want to do. I didn't say "I don't know what I want to do with my life" because that's not true. I wanted a relationship, that was my ultimate life goal. I have that now and things are going pretty well and, without being able to read the fortune, will continue to. Even if this relationship ends, my ultimate life goal will be to have a relationship. I'm not needy. I'm not codependent. I know what I want and what that has always been and will continue to be is a partner (sling you arrows now if you wish). What my problem is would be what do I want to do to generate income. I've never known the answer to that.

When I was a little one (really little) I wanted to be a police man. Then a fire man. Not sure which came first. Then when I got much older I wanted to be in bed with them. After about age six though, I never could answer "what do you want to be when you grow up". When I was a teenager and all my friends had jobs, I didn't. Now, I didn't have my parents give me everything, I just went without. I didn't go out, I didn't go to the movies, I didn't have a cellphone, I didn't have a car. I didn't make my own money so I just was thankful for what I did have and went to school (high school). Eventually High School ended. Thank God on one hand, hated that place. But that was also stressful. I didn't want to go straight to College, or "University" as you outside-of-USA-people put it (I still giggle at it being called "University", sorry) so I figured I had to work. I spent a year looking for a job. It was partly because the year I decided to job hunt was America's worst in many years and partly because I was suffering from some pretty major Depression and other personal issues that are too boring to detail here. (I'm going to randomly insert a paragraph break here because it seems like this has gone on too long for my tastes. Wall of text.)

The other part was because I didn't know what I wanted to do. After taking career tests over the last few years I keep getting the result of being focused/other synonyms for that. I won't do something unless I'm 100% behind it. I won't do it "just because" or "it's what everyone does". I know people work because they have to. But I also thought for myself I would find something I was passionate about/at least didn't abhor. That didn't work and I eventually ended up in retail for six-seven years. I hated that. Oh, how I hated that.

While working retail I was in College (yes, I went back to school at some point during retail hell). I was also in therapy. Lots, and lots, and lots, of therapy. I finished with an Associate's Degree in General Studies (a fancy way of saying: See, I went to College.) which I knew wouldn't get my anywhere. I figured while I was in school I would figure out what I wanted to do. Career tests, deep conversations, three years in school, and more therapy later, I still had no clue. So I walked out of school with not much of an idea as to what the hell I wanted to do. But I started to figure out what I didn't.

Retail. Retail. Retail. If I could formally crucify retail, I would. If I could execute most of the people I've had to serve while working with retail, I would. If I could pile up most of the people I've worked with into a van, and push said van off a cliff. I would. I so would. I would do it, then rewind time, and do it again. I don't like retail. I'm someone who is terrible having people over me. I don't work well supervised, I don't work well having someone tell me exactly what to do. I like to be given a project, get offered a way to do it, and go off and do it. As long as it gets done and no one had to sell any cocaine or murder any immigrants in order to finish, everyone is happy.

I'd like to make my own schedule, be my own boss, do my own thing, and have some magical entity pay me for whatever it is that I'm doing. Yes, very fairy-tale like. Everyone would like that. Wouldn't they?

Let's go back to College. I kicked its ass. I finished with a 3.9. I was in the Honors program. I floored several of the teachers (or "professors" as they're supposed to be called in College...why is that again anyway? What separates them from teachers in regular schools again?) with my writing. I am not bragging about myself. I am stating facts. I would never brag about myself. I am my biggest critic. Don't bother starting an anti-fanclub against me, I'm already the founder and the President of that club. Despite this display of intelligence, people with far less academic accolades knew what they were in school for. So there's me, little genius boy, getting all these exceptional grades and thinking "I'm a professional student" and then there's little Susan with a 2.0 going to be a nurse.

Fast forward to now to where I know for me, College is largely useless. Whatever I want to do, it probably won't involve College. I'm throwing money away. The magical solution I came up with as to what to do for work came to me in a dream (not really but it sounds more profound). Work from home. Find a company that wants you to do things. Do things. Be compensated for doing said things. But what is this thing I would do? Write? Transcribe? Make pornography? Sure I'll do those (except for that last one, my partner would never let me transcribe! I mean, make porn...sadly...) So I have looked into all of those things (minus the porn). They pay less than horribly. Maybe at a rate that would break down to about 1-2 dollars an hour. So that would essentially mean people in poverty would have more money that I. Not a way to really make much of a living huh?

My partner is an engineer. He has a rather flexible schedule. He's an older guy. He's a sweetheart. I stay home and essentially take care of the house, and the little dogs. I help with our very small business which he (and I) do on the side. It does not make enough money at all to pay for anything really, it's more hobby than anything else. He makes enough on his own to support us just fine but that is not the issue. I feel awful for not contributing. I want to satisfy us both. I want to do something I want to do and make money to help him and spend on him. I help him at work occasionally when he needs it, which makes me some money but it's not much. It's also so sporadic even a gerbil would have issues living off it.

I've looked into many online companies, even bought e-books on the subject. But I haven't came across anything that is willing to pay what be comparable to minimum wage. I'm not looking for big bucks here (which makes me think of those ads that go something like: My Aunt Tilda quit her job and makes 11,761 A WEEK working from home for just a few hours!!! Click HERE to install Our Malware App!) just something that could start to generate some money for myself. It seems like the only people who do make money online, are making huge amounts of it. Where's the middle-of-the-road people, you know?

The more I write the less I have of an idea on what else to with this intro post. I could write more but this is getting long and the end question, I have already sprinkled in various parts of this post, and titled the topic along the same idea. But I'll sum it up this way: Is working from home a legitimate option nowadays or is it still something that sounds good, but not possible. Where could you even go to start on such a journey? Why am I asking this on a gay message board of all places? I know not the answers to any of these questions so I'm posing them all to you.

On an unrelated note and a more fun question: Bagels or English Muffins? I like bagels better.

Edit: Wow that was longer than I thought.

[thawoods]

"working from home," funny my mom and me talked about this earlier, about me wanting to get a job and all, i just hate it working too far away from home, the conditions are not very good here. the ideal idea for me is to find a perfect place, not so far from here and work my @ss of 'til i get some corn. but i guess there's a lot of work to be found on the internet right, i just haven't settled a stable bank account yet, i guess it's time that i did .....

[kindy64]

Well, I've been a software developer for 30 years, and working from home is a perk that I get. I'd love to do it all the time.

Medical coding/billing was one idea I had until I re-read your life's story https://www.aapc.com/medical-coding/medical-coding.aspx

You really need to flip this around. What do you like to do? Other than being in a relationship, what really drives you, makes you passionate talking about it?

Have a drivers license and a car? Try Uber, you can make some extra income right there. Or even just deliver pizzas for a while. Of course, that means getting out of the house, but I'm not sure what is more important to you, having income, or working from home.

[MikeW]

...2) I was going to post this anonymously to avoid the ridicule but have decided, eh, bring it on...

There are a lot of things that you haven't said that I'd like to understand. You did say the quoted but I don't understand why you think any of us would "ridicule" you. We might give someone "tough love" on occasion but "ridicule"? I hope not.

I did read your post last night before I fell asleep. Like [MENTION=22879]kindy64[/MENTION], I'm curious what you DO with your time if you're not working. Don't misunderstand the question. There have been times in my life when I was "unemployed." But there's never been a time in my life when I wasn't "doing" something. Often in those times when I was unemployed I was so busy I wondered how I managed to get it all done when I *was* employed.

I don't mind working but I hate looking for a job. This may explain why I've worked for the same employer now for going on 40 years. That said, much of that time I've arranged it so I only had to work three days a week. My reason for doing this isn't because I was lazy but because I was also pursuing my interest in the fine arts, painting. So, even on "days off" I was almost always "working" at the thing I loved to do most. BTW, during that "going on 40 years" there were a few years when I didn't work at all. I had the resources to support myself so I could just focus on my art. But when I needed an income, the employment was there.

My problem has always been that I don't really "value" money. I've never understood this about myself. To this day it is one of my biggest issues. I'm fine working because I enjoy what I do. I barely even think of it in terms of "earning money". I do to some extent because I have to pay for things and I need the money to do that... but I've never been one to earn "extra" that I could save. I've never wanted to amass a large sum of money. I don't know why because it isn't that I don't have expensive tastes, I most certainly do. There's just something about "money" that bothers me.

SO... I'm trying to understand what this is about for you. Why don't you want to "work" (understanding that could mean a zillion different possibilities). Why do you think you'd enjoy "working from home". (I sometimes do but, unless it is something you thoroughly enjoy... in my case painting... you're just as likely to find it something you want to avoid and will find any number of other things you'd rather do instead.)

Anyway, I'm not sure what questions to ask, really. I'm just not fully understanding what is going on inside you. Is it you don't want to work? Is it you don't want to work for someone else? Is it you don't want to work *with* other people? Can you clarify what exactly is going on inside you?

[Cobalt]

On the way to do a job (ironic isn't it?) but I wanted to check this topic. I realized when I went to bed last night I left a lot of blank spots in my intro post. So I will definitely clarify some points later this afternoon. Thanks for the responses so far. I'll be back...

[Cobalt]

Okay so I'll try my best to fill in some of the blanks. I'm not going to bother various parts of posts to address the points, I'll just start writing everything out.

During most days I keep busy with house work, I enjoy it. Cleaning, laundry, organizing, etc. All the little mundane tasks people don't really like, I gladly do because I genuinely enjoy them. It matters to me because I figure: I live here, I want things to look nice and be able to say: look what I did today. I'm not much of a cook but I like to learn, I can follow a recipe if needed and I can follow it quite well. I like to run little errands as well and get things done during the day. I'm not afraid of going outside the house at all, I will do it when it's needed for sure.

I like to write. When I'm not being depressed or allowing myself to not try to write, I really do enjoy it. Ideally I would love to do something with writing. People have told me to do that for years but I never figured out what I could do. I tried journalism out when I was in High School but after the class I took bored me to death I realized that wasn't for me. My partner wants me to pursue something with writing as well but I don't know where to start with that. Two things about writing entice me: I actually enjoy it and have fun with it and, it's something you can do remotely (read: from home).

Working from appeals to me for a couple of reasons. I would never have to take a vacation, for one thing. I could go anywhere and still be able to work. I would also not have to worry much about "office hours". I could set a regular sure, but if I needed to start earlier one day or later, it's not a problem. One problem I have is control. I've always had a big issue with school because I hated the aspect of "you will be here from ---- o clock in the morning to ----- o clock in the afternoon". I didn't necessarily mind the schoolwork. I feel the same about regular "work" as well. I am not opposed to work. I actually really do like having something to do. I like to look at a list of tasks and think of how I'm going to get it all done. My problem I had with a job(s) was the same as school, I hated being on someone else's schedule. I didn't mind doing the work, I just had a problem with being told when to do it.

I realize there is scheduling in life. If you want to go to the doctor, you need to be on their schedule. Need a plumber? You are on their schedule. I don't mind these types of things. I'll plan around them. These things aren't a daily occurrence, work is. I'd like to be able to say: on Monday I'm going to write from 11-6. Tuesday I have that dentist appointment so, I'll work from 9-11 and then again 2-7. And be able to have a flexible schedule that I can create from week to week. "Be my own boss" in a sense.

I could learn how to do other things, writing is a hobby but it doesn't have to be what makes me money, at least not right now. I could learn how to do something else if it means bringing in some income. Ideally, it would be something from home to again, allow for flexibility. I like being able to help my partner out as his job. He doesn't always need the help but I like being able to offer myself if and when he does need it. Sometimes he likes to meet up for lunch and I like being able to do that in between chores and errands. I like being able to be flexible.

To answer one question that's been posed: what's more important: working from home or money. I'd answer working from home. If something catastrophic happened where my partner was unable to work and there was no money at all, I'd work with whatever I needed to do. If that meant working outside the home then okay. It would be about what's necessary then, not what I would like to do/enjoy to do. My room for being able to do something that I want to do and not having to do is nice at one end, but bad on the other because it allows for a little too much wiggle room at times.

I'm not necessarily looking for something that's going to rake in huge stacks of money. If that came up for me then I'd gladly take it but just starting out that's not my goal. If I could find something that would allow to help with the bills while being able to afford miscellaneous things, then I'm all for it.

I think that's about the most I wanted to help clarify, I think I left some things out. I probably should have done this topic after I really fleshed it all out but I had been procrastinating on making this topic for months so I decided to just make it and fill in the blanks as I go along...

[kindy64]

Oh, don't worry, there is a lot of "fill in the blanks" along lifes journey. I'm still doing that at 51, I'd hate to be stuck in the rut I've been in for the rest of my life. Putting the past into perspective, and trying to use that to guide me towards a brighter future (one where my depression has no say in my mood for instance.)

Depends on the type of writing you like to do, but there are all sorts of freelance writing gigs... Here is one such place to find them, there are others though. http://studybay.com/

I have a friend who does local restaurant and event reviews. She is on her own schedule mostly, however it does come with deadlines. She's published in several local/regional newspapers, and magazines, plus their online presence. From what I remember she says it gives her "play money." Her husband covers the costs of living, this just gives her her own means if she wants something nice or go out with the gals.

[Insertnamehere]

[MENTION=22914]Cobalt[/MENTION] for your OP

I didn't want to go straight to College, or "University" as you outside-of-USA-people put it (I still giggle at it being called "University", sorry)

Regardless of geographical implications, a "College" is a place with a specialized area of learning. There can be an engineering college, for instance. A "University", properly speaking, is a place that has many different areas of learning.

....why is that again anyway? What separates them from teachers in regular schools again?

At least in the science areas, they do reserch, publish papers and have way more specialized knowledge. A High School teacher can handle the basic parts of science. A High school teacher only needs a degree to teach. A college professor needs a doctorate, no less, to teach.

I won't do something unless I'm 100% behind it

That's not something any job will ever offer you. You will always be put off by some aspect of the work you do. This mentality needs to change and become a wee bit more flexible if you hope to generate income of any kind.

So that would essentially mean people in poverty would have more money that I. Not a way to really make much of a living huh?.......He makes enough on his own to support us just fine but that is not the issue. I feel awful for not contributing

But you'd still have more money than you do now and seeming how there is no pressure to make big money, how is that a bad thing?


Do you want to work boo? How much money exactly do you want to be making? What are you willing to do to get it?

Money is needed and if you have to earn some, then you are bound to put up with some things you don't like.

If you want to earn a decent amount of money you need to be willing to compromise some things and get out of your comfort zone a bit.

Big money comes from profitable jobs, and those require, usually, degrees, skills and contacts don't hurt either.

I believe you are in need of some pragmatic thinking. So lets try and turn this around a bit. Instead of trying to find something you like, why don't you make a list of the things you can do that can be turned into something profitable?

Can you bake? Sell cookies or something!

Then you pick something that you don't dislike too much from that list, and see if it can be based from home!

Now, I know you pack some skills there, man, so lets hear them!

[Cobalt]

Well I suppose I can try to help clear some things up.

I do understand not everything about a job/work is going to be something I like. That applies to a lot of things really, there's aspects of my relationship I don't like but I know they're necessary/good (social outings, doing things partner likes that I'm not necessarily fond of, etc.) I guess what I should have said is: I won't do something, like a job, if the bad/parts I dislike vastly outweigh the good.

Even if the work I do is not fun at all/something I don't necessarily like, as like as the work environment is what I want then I would be okay to do it. To put that in perspective, if I had to do something like write an article I found extremely boring, as long as the work environment was okay then I wouldn't mind it as much. If I were in a small office or a home office, I'd be okay with that.

Now as far as what skills I have? I don't know what would really be considered "skills". I like to write, I like to research, I like to study, I like to clean, I like to organize. I guess I'm a bit of a loss for what I'm good at, exactly.

[InbetweenDreams]

Here's an idea, what are jobs you would tolerate doing? Working from home, the only thing I know of that would be a safer bet is tech support a lot of them pay ok, nothing grand, but a good deal are moving to working at home, but you do need reliable internet.

Coming from an IT guy... I HATE tech support...but I also hate dealing with dumb people lol

Basically what I'm getting at... you have these interests... Sounds like there might be some parallels, like maybe you could manage inventory, if you are good at and like organizing...

But yeah no job is perfect... I mean I finally, got lucky enough to find a job I enjoy a lot, but it has it's oddities and things I don't like but I hardly consider changing jobs. Right now, there's only like one reason why I would leave and that would be if I wind up in a relationship where I am madly in love (and the other way around)... that or something fundamentally changes, like change of presidents, bosses which change the enviroment drastically...

Fortunately for me I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to get into... However a lot of other people don't get the same experience with things, so trying to figure out what you want to do as career is a challenge, I don't know how many people go get a student loan, go to college and have no idea what the hell they want to major in, so they major in something very general...which can be good but later on want to change majors and end up in a bigger mess than from the start...

Consider moonlighting or "internships," try doing something that you find somewhat interesting... as long as you feel you're not wasting your time or becoming excessively aggravated you're probably doing fine...

Working from home jobs... you might find one but might not be what you expect either... Think on what kind of jobs a company would spend money to hire people at home on... most all of them are probably going to involve a phone...