My sexuality

[starlight]

I have said many times due to many reasons i hate mine, i say on here i am Bi but i have always grown up being Gay in my head and attracted to guys, its getting to the point that due to my recent and past experiences with the gay world and lads i have met on a gay friendship basis and the dates i have had i feel its not the thing for me, i feel i should be with a woman in a straight relationship, i admit i am all confused as even by saying that my mind prefers men but then if i think men it prefers women to an extent. Its so hard to find any balance or anything that would give me experience as i am too scared for one of many things, i dont have opportunities to meet people, people are shallow from what i have seen when i meet people and no one wants to start friendships at my age. This is just how i feel, i await backlash

[Beaux]

IN a perfect reality, we would all be able to choose our sexuality...alas, tisnt a perfect reality...
IMO, the trick to life isn't having what you want, it is wanting what you have. Sure, you could choose to lie and misrepresent yourself so that you could trick a woman into believing you are straight. Sure, you could build a life and family on those lies. It might even be an "easier" life if you did just that....but you would always know. Could you really live that way...? Living a lie? Plenty of men live that way, so you wouldn't be alone, but (for me) that kind of life is unacceptable; it just seems to me to be a recipe for misery....
~Beau

[starlight]

IN a perfect reality, we would all be able to choose our sexuality...alas, tisnt a perfect reality...
IMO, the trick to life isn't having what you want, it is wanting what you have. Sure, you could choose to lie and misrepresent yourself so that you could trick a woman into believing you are straight. Sure, you could build a life and family on those lies. It might even be an "easier" life if you did just that....but you would always know. Could you really live that way...? Living a lie? Plenty of men live that way, so you wouldn't be alone, but (for me) that kind of life is unacceptable; it just seems to me to be a recipe for misery....
~Beau

See personally would never lie to either male or female about being either way, i am pretty honest already so would always tell any person involved about my issues so if i met a woman (i know that a smaller chance of me meeting a guy) i would be open and honest from the start. I dont claim to be straight or gay.

Cheers for your input

[Bhp91126]

There should be an 'official' sexual orientation called "it's complicated". Meaning, don't worry about how you identify yourself, if someone is bold enough to ask, give him the run-around and smirk.

Just be yourself, be as honest as you can be when dealing with other people and try to make friends, lots of them. In the long run friends are more important than starter-relationships.

[starlight]

There should be an 'official' sexual orientation called "it's complicated". Meaning, don't worry about how you identify yourself, if someone is bold enough to ask, give him the run-around and smirk.

Just be yourself, be as honest as you can be when dealing with other people and try to make friends, lots of them. In the long run friends are more important than starter-relationships.

See i try to use to term fluid to my self.

[Anocxu]

As @Meridannknight has posted a million times...

Sexuality is straightforward ...
"We" complicate our own sexuality for numerous reasons.

As said above..

Be open and honest with your significant other about your sexuality... it's a simple start.

[strider65]

the only thing I can tell you my friend without having read any of the other responses is that you are guilty of being a human being, and you are being far too hard on yourself.

when I came out to myself, it was far harder than coming out to anyone else. we're just wired differently, there's nothing wrong with it.

as long as you are true to yourself and to your own conscience you've nothing to worry about, IMHO.

there are a lot of good people out there. I promise. you aren't alone

[starlight]

the only thing I can tell you my friend without having read any of the other responses is that you are guilty of being a human being, and you are being far too hard on yourself.

when I came out to myself, it was far harder than coming out to anyone else. we're just wired differently, there's nothing wrong with it.

as long as you are true to yourself and to your own conscience you've nothing to worry about, IMHO.

there are a lot of good people out there. I promise. you aren't alone

Thankyou! I am sometimes too open about my sexuality with people.

[Insertnamehere]

Big D.

Do you feel sexually or emotionally attracted to women? to men?

If one is yes --> gay/straight

if both ---> bi.

It's not any more complicated than that. If you are, by definition, bisexual (you may or many not like to be called or to call yourself that, that's ok) you can be 50/50, lean more towards guys, more towards girls, etc ,etc.

You can, as a human with freedom of choice, not define yourself under any of these terms. If a definition of bisexual fits you, it doesn't mean that you have to take in that word to define yourself if you don't like carrying a label.

But bare this basic tool for defining sexuality in mind and separate it from all the things in your head that you are (seemingly) letting influence that definition.

Your experiences with men will not change the fact that you were (or weren't) attracted to them from the beggining. Same with girls.

You "growing up thinking in [your] head" gay or "feeling that [you] need to be with a woman" are nothing more than thoughts unless they have some emotional basis.

So, is there such basis? Do tell.

[Bhp91126]

See i try to use to term fluid to my self.

and you solved your own problem! Fluid, it is.