I need to lose weight, but I'm close to give up

[Camfer]

Eventually you just have to accept your body type and either become a gym rat or move on. I still haven't decided yet.

Your body is much more a reflection of your eating habits than your activity habits. So if I could rephrase your statement, it would be more accurate to write:

Eventually you have to accept your eating habits or begin to eat healthy foods in the appropriate amounts for your activity level.

[MikeW]

So I've made walking (at least around the block) a daily routine and will build on that throughout the next weeks and months.
I know the hardest step is always the first one, and I think I have made that.

One more thing: Me being the original poster, it is only me to give my verdict on which kind of comments are helping me and which ones are not.
Just like it's only my own responsibility to listen to an advise or not listen to it. I'm adult enough for that.

Have you heard the new terminology for us fat guys?
It's now called having a "Dad Bod."

I was tall & skinny till I hit age 38 and found I have a gut. My pectorals are looking like boobs. Here I thought the laundry was shrinking my clothes. Nope - I'm finally gaining weight after all these years.

I do the same - was trying to run walk every night. That didn't last long. Friend of mine joined me, now he's running on his own.

Eventually you just have to accept your body type and either become a gym rat or move on. I still haven't decided yet.

Some years ago I weighed over 250lbs (18 stone). I don't even know how much I weighed at the worst of it. I was so embarrassed about it that I just stopped weighing myself. (But did NOT stop getting fatter.)

The fist thing you have to know is you can NOT "out walk" or "out run" or "out workout" a bad diet. Changing what you eat and how much you eat is going to make WAY more difference in terms of your body composition (body fat %) than anything you DO in terms of exercise.

This is not to suggest that one shouldn't be physically active. We should. For a lot of reasons.

But lets begin at the beginning.

People talk about "loosing weight"... but that is NOT the way to think about it. We need to think of it in terms of body composition. Why? Because the body is made up predominantly of water... and we can gain and or loose several pounds of water in a day. It means nothing in terms of body composition.

For our purposes "body composition" has to do with the percentage of body fat relative to the percentage of lean muscle. The ideal goal is to reduce the body fat percentage while maintaining (if not increasing) lean muscle mass. In this scenario, one can become healthier and leaner looking while not changing WEIGHT at all.

I say this as someone who got down to 180lbs. However, I'm now at 190... and have been at this weight now for two years. During this span of time, however, my percentage of body fat has slowly but steadily declined while my percentage of lean muscle tissue has slowly but steadily increased. This is exactly what I want. I'm becoming leaner and stronger, and yet my weight is NOT changing at all.

There are MANY strategies for doing this kind of thing. To an extent one has to experiment with various techniques to find what works for you. HOWEVER... the most important thing to begin with is to have a fairly good idea of what your BODY COMPOSITION ACTUALLY IS.

The five best ways to do that are:

1 Skin Calipers (very inexpensive but not terribly accurate)
2 Bioelectrical Impedance (affordable for most people, moderately accurate) << this is what I use
3 Hydrostatic Weighing ($40 - $60, very accurate)
4 DEXA (Dual-Energy X-Ray Absorptiometry) (Expensive medical technology, highly accurate)
5 Air-Displacement Plethysmography (aka 'bod pod' $45 to $60, very accurate)

More info: http://dailyburn.com/life/health/how-to-...ercentage/

In my case, for example, I weigh 190 lbs and my body fat is around 20%. I would *like* to get my BF% down to 10%. So what this means is that I need to loose about 19 lbs *of fat* to reach this goal. If I simultaneously gained 19lbs of muscle, my weight would NOT change.

This is what is meant by "body recompositioning."

The overall strategy I use to achieve this long-term aim is to:

1: EAT AS CLEAN AS I CAN AS MUCH AS I CAN. What that means is I try to NOT eat out, I try to NOT eat pre-packaged foods. I cook my own meats and vegetables. I only eat organic-high fiber whole grain breads. (Dave's Killer Bread is my favorite.) I only eat whole fruits (not juiced). I avoid sugar. (This is the most difficult for me as I am a sugar/starch addict: I can wipe out an entire cheese cake or a family size package of Oreos in one sitting and not even blink.)

2: I walk. A lot. I do not drive a car AT ALL. I walk to work. I walk to the gym. I walk to the grocery store. I carry my groceries on my back in a back pack. I walk just to go for walks. I even walk (fast) on a dirt track near where I live.

3: I work out. I work out like a MOFO. I lift heavy. 3 days a week. Following my own modified version of the Kino Warrior Shredding Program.

4: I practice "intermittent fasting" See also: Eat Stop Eat.

I do not believe what works for me will necessarily work for you (or anyone). THE most important thing is learning how to eat in a way THAT YOU CAN SUTAIN THROUGH TIME. Think of fat loss as a LONG TERM GOAL *and* as an eating habit life-style change. So far as working out goes, THE most important thing is to find something you ENJOY doing. Personally, I *love* going to the gym and busting my ass. Seriously! To me it is fun as fuck. I workout and THEN do a half-hour of step aerobics... and I bounce out of the gym feeling like a kid. BUT... that won't work for everyone. Some people want to run, some want to swim, some want to play ball or skate board or ride a bike. THE POINT IS: Find something you ENJOY doing so you don't HAVE to force yourself to do it.

/End

[drobs]

I'm 6'4 so my height can hide some of the body weight. Been stuck at 220LBs for awhile now. The food here (Navy Base) is horrible - however, I do really need to find a diet of some sort.

[Sherbil]

The thing about weight loss is that it's very different-strokes-for-different-folks. Long-term, though, studies have repeatedly shown that "dieting" doesn't work. If you want to lose weight and keep it off (which is another battle in and of itself), you really have to change what you're eating and stick to those changes.

The best way to do that is to start small. You'll still go to get your fast food, but maybe instead of ordering a coke with it, you'll get diet coke. Then, after a few weeks, you'll move to water. Learning to cut out most other drinks and consume mostly water is a huge step that I've seen net people a lot of weight loss all on its own. Diet drinks are horrible for you and regular drinks are as well, but with the added "benefit" of having tons of sugar and calories.

Target the things you think you can easily give up, and start there. Realize that it's entirely unrealistic to expect that you'll be able to cut everything out, or make big changes quickly and stick to them. You ask how to go about getting a bag of cookies and not eating them all; you don't get a bag of cookies. You get the "share size" pack by the check-out register, thus limiting your intake. You can't eat it if you don't have it. Then, transition into planning meals for yourself and only keep around what you must have to make those meals. Only shop a few days in advance. Prepare your meals with protein in mind, since it's the most filling option you can pick. Meat and veggies are your go-to's.

The good thing about this is that it focuses on healthier eating, and on positive changes you can make one step at a time. You set your own course. Bit by bit, you'll educate yourself and find what works for you. Don't kick yourself for eating something bad; make a proactive plan for avoiding that pitfall in the future, and then focus on the next little positive change you're going to make.

It's a lifelong battle, and so much of it is psychological. It starts with realizing you're only human and being more positive about your choices and what you decide to eat.

[drobs]

Here's the other issue - other than health, why should I have a twink bod when my partner of 12 years gave up a long time ago?

Sure my bod looks like shit but if he's happy why should I care?
I'm all for the DAD BOD - fuck it we all get old sometime. Can't be a twink forever.

1993


1995 - on left


2009


2011


2011 - no shave November:


2016 - Missouri


2016 Djibouti


As you can see my height and clothing hides my moobs and gut...

[drobs]

I don't want to brag but damn I looked good back in 1995.

2011


2012


2015

[questioning9]

Hey again

I used to be at 87 kilos last autumn, when I had to leave the gym (I was there only for some weeks) because of health issues that probably came from the muscle workout itself.
Right afterwards, a series of family birthday parties and christmas followed, and lots of visits at my family, friends, or vice versa, and bang I went up 10 kilos.

It's not that I can't accept myself as I am, it's more that the additional fat makes me feel uncomfortable and old.

It's always the same, I'm motivating myself to do some workout, eat more healthy, I keep it up for a few weeks, and then something will come and my whole discipline literally derails.

The thing is, I don't have a constant enough daily life. I'm alone for some weeks, then my mum visits for some weeks, then I'm at my parents for some weeks, then I'm alone again... it's nothing to build a routine on.

I could get myself to go for long walks at whatever place, but I can't do anything against my unhealthy eating habits. Eating is like the only bodily joy for me, as my sexual drive is very low and jerking off doesn't make me as happy as eating fastfood does.

I don't know where to get motivation from, as every prospect depresses me:
Looking at the mirror depresses me, looking at the scales depresses me, having to get myself to workout depresses me, the imagination of having to eat healthy completely freaks me out.

I know well how to lose weight, I know what works for me, but I don't find the motivation anymore because I know I won't be able to keep it up, due to my irregular life situation.

I don't know if anyone of you can really help me there, but even if I just get some replies, it will work as a reminder for me that I need to do something.

Maybe positive thinking might help you. Your outlook does affect you in temrs of whether you want to take action on your part or not. If you believe you can never succeed, chances are, you will never try out. If you believe you will succeed, you might even take a stab at it. I suggest you try it out. don't give up if results don't come by soon enough.

[kjames]

The real key to the war with food is to make peace with it. What I am saying is don't fear food or it will haunt you. Instead, embrace food more by really exploring the food/taste spectrum by trying to cook your meals and incorporating new things often. For most people the problem with their diet comes from the variety of their choices. There are so many wonderful flavors and foods to explore that appease the pallet that are healthful. I think people get stuck on salt, sugar and fats.

[InbetweenDreams]

Hey again

I used to be at 87 kilos last autumn, when I had to leave the gym (I was there only for some weeks) because of health issues that probably came from the muscle workout itself.
Right afterwards, a series of family birthday parties and christmas followed, and lots of visits at my family, friends, or vice versa, and bang I went up 10 kilos.

It's not that I can't accept myself as I am, it's more that the additional fat makes me feel uncomfortable and old.

It's always the same, I'm motivating myself to do some workout, eat more healthy, I keep it up for a few weeks, and then something will come and my whole discipline literally derails.

The thing is, I don't have a constant enough daily life. I'm alone for some weeks, then my mum visits for some weeks, then I'm at my parents for some weeks, then I'm alone again... it's nothing to build a routine on.

I could get myself to go for long walks at whatever place, but I can't do anything against my unhealthy eating habits. Eating is like the only bodily joy for me, as my sexual drive is very low and jerking off doesn't make me as happy as eating fastfood does.

I don't know where to get motivation from, as every prospect depresses me:
Looking at the mirror depresses me, looking at the scales depresses me, having to get myself to workout depresses me, the imagination of having to eat healthy completely freaks me out.

I know well how to lose weight, I know what works for me, but I don't find the motivation anymore because I know I won't be able to keep it up, due to my irregular life situation.

I don't know if anyone of you can really help me there, but even if I just get some replies, it will work as a reminder for me that I need to do something.

I haven't read the entire thread but hopefully something here might be of some help. I've struggled with the whole weight loss situation and the bad thing what you eat makes the most impact on your weight. Granted if you go run 10 miles everyday you will lose weight, but chances are you're not going to run 10 miles a day and most people don't even run for that matter.

You can still enjoy the foods you enjoy but try talking yourself into making small changes. Mine was soda. I haven't had a soda in 6 months. People talk about will power, you just need will power one time because I seldom think about soda or wanting one at this point and I really don't miss it. Now fuck with my coffee we're going to have a talk.

Secondly, not knowing your height 87Kg/191 lbs isn't that bad and certainly manageable in my opinion. Six months ago I was 112 Kg to put things in perspective, I've lost a lot but I've got a long ways to get before I can even get to 87 Kg.

When it comes to exercise, not sure what you're doing there, but try not to make a mundane task. I think the key to success there is to find something you enjoy, even if it means just walking. My gig right now is biking, I mean you can go ride around a few hours, see a lot of nice scenery and not think of it as a workout.

That all being said I think you need to address what's really eating at you. You mentioned in another thread about how you didn't want to rekindle an old friendship because you don't have a job. Not sure what is keeping you from going for the things you want. I think that your negative self image and self worth is the issue. I mean you're a good looking guy and I don't think you're dumb or anything like that and 87 Kg is hardly fat. Just need to work on changing how you look at yourself and I think things will turn around. I can't tell you how to change your mind other than that's what you need to do. Beating depression and self loathing isn't easy, sometimes you need the shit scared out of you and an occasional ass kicking too. Sometimes we can't control what happens in our lives but at other times we can and more often than enough we are in control and I do believe there is a lot of truth in the saying that life is what we make it.

[jmccoll15]

If you have the means to afford the food and the discipline to stay away from the bad stuff, you can incrementally lose weight by eating mostly vegetarian with only fish and organic chicken for occasional meat. If you add in some exercise, you can keep it off as you go.