How to approach a cute guy.

[shykid25]

I need advice on how to approach someone at the mall, gym, club/bars, museums or any other place.

What is the first step? What do you say to them? How can you tell if they are even gay?(I have no gaydar) I pretty shy and akward but I think if the conversation is going well I'll be fine. Just need help with the beginning because I never know what to do or say.

[Radbot42]

Good question... no idea. I typically online date.

[shykid25]

I'm not from LA. I'm from Florida and I'm pretty fem, but not super fem.

[meridannight]

as a general rule, you might want to establish some contact before you approach him with a proposal to get together/go out. such a contact might be an exchange of glance(s), a smile, maybe you can ask him about a product you see he is buying (e.g. asking him if it's any good, etc).

this way you can gauge his reaction to you at some level. it's not a best indicator of compatibility but it's a start. if he completely ignores you and brushes you off with a monosyllabic shrug, chances are you're not gonna have better luck asking him out. however, such small exchanges can communicate warmth and openness, possibility, and might be starting grounds for a more extensive chat.

the idea is to avoid walking up to him cold, out of the blue. establish some rudimentary personal rapport first.

then again, i have been walked up to cold (at a clothing boutique), the guy asked me if he knew me from somewhere before.

use the opportunities available to you and use your imagination. you can also prehearse some scenarios in your head beforehand.

First step, is I would preferably personally never publicly ask a guy out upon first sight unless I knew 100% he was gay or was into guys.

i've done it. and once i made a very good friend out of it. he isn't gay, but he became a dear friend of mine, which is just as good. i am damn glad i approached him and asked him out! to think of what i'd be missing if i hadn't!

[Sylph]

I'm pretty "in your face" but not in a mean way (most times), which for a lot of Americans and especially British seems to be a turn off, which is weird given the fact that I find Americans waaaay more crude at the mouth;

However I'da just say something in my Dialect to both Confuse and possibly intrigue the person:

[COLOR="blue"]Ay buh, de bies is mug ta chooks hur enuh, but ya ga'de press style-up wit-de talli enuh. Bie chingas, bies is bogardas, bogardin' ya ding buh.
Gi'dem de don doppa vybz, ehn-ehn!
Ya nuh no bimpert, so nuh let dem bies run you wuffless. Do dem dings vex enuh.[/COLOR]
「Listen here, the guys here are lame as fuck you know, but you have a very impressive outfit/wardrobe with your Dick on obvious display. (and) Oh shit, (those) Men are Copycats, Imitating what you do.
Show them (you have) the Kingly demeanor, right!
You're not an idiot, so don't allow those other guys to make you feel meaningless. Make them upset(jealous) you understand?」

*Bie Chingas literally means "Boy Darn/Whoops" - but is a phrase to say "Oh Shit" in surprise or disbelief.

*Ehn-ehn is Literally untranslatable and is just an onomatopoeia for "No Way! Is that right? Unbelievable! Are you sure?"


Actually alot of what we say cannot be directly translated; but I guess that'd be one of my main "chips" to play if you will, in the game of courtship, by either dazzling or confusing the person LoLoLoL

[TwisttheLeaf]

I have excellent gaydar, so I can't really help you on that one. Usually, if they're staring, that means they're interested.

I'm very good at the... "Hey man, how's it going? Wanna fuck?" with just enough of a smirk that it's hard to tell whether I'm joking or serious. It weeds out the ones that aren't interested in you -very- quickly. Without gaydar? I'm not sure how good an idea that approach would be.

Then again, when I was single, I wasn't looking for a relationship so much as friends with benefits type of situations... or just the benefits worked for me fine too.

Which brings me to my question..... what are you approaching them -for- exactly? Friendship? Sex? A possible relationship? Each focus is going to take a different kind of approach.

[Gideon]

I have excellent gaydar, so I can't really help you on that one. Usually, if they're staring, that means they're interested.

I'm very good at the... "Hey man, how's it going? Wanna fuck?" with just enough of a smirk that it's hard to tell whether I'm joking or serious. It weeds out the ones that aren't interested in you -very- quickly. Without gaydar? I'm not sure how good an idea that approach would be.

Then again, when I was single, I wasn't looking for a relationship so much as friends with benefits type of situations... or just the benefits worked for me fine too.

Which brings me to my question..... what are you approaching them -for- exactly? Friendship? Sex? A possible relationship? Each focus is going to take a different kind of approach.

*Chuckles* I knew you were going to say that. When I read the thread, it's the first thing that came to mind.

[shykid25]

Mainly relationships or even a friendship.
I tRueda the online thing still do but guys either don't respond or I'm not attracted to them and it's the same ppl over and over.

[drobs]

You know what I hate...
When some totally hot guy is staring at me and I start staring back only to realize he's looking at the TV behind me that I was completely oblivious to.

[starlight]

I would not have any clue how to answer this.