What is a relationship? A rhetorical question.

[Anonymous]

You meet someone, you may think nothing of the future or you may plan on dating the same person so as long as the feelings are mutual.

You go on dates almost weekly, sometimes doing the same thing because it works. It's not entirely routine, but it doesn't suck. It's fun.

You may end up sleeping together for a night on the third/forth/fifth date because the movie you watched on Netflix in his apartment ran for three hours and you're too tired to drive back home.

And sometimes after nearly two months of dating, and four months of having known each other, you reach some sort of point. I can't identify what this is, other than "what if?" and "what's next?"

...

And then there's people I know personally who've been together for eight years since high school, have tried breaking up numerous times and they're finally reaching that breaking point where it's become a steaming pile of mess and stress, guilt trips and ultimatums.

I ask "what is a relationship" because it seems in today's busy socially active world, the key meaning of a relationship - something akin to what I read as being synonymous with the buddy system - is lost. If I'm not mistaken, a relationship is not about one, but two.

And if you're like me, you wonder where it's going after two months...because you haven't the experience to really see what it's like when it lasts. And if you're like my close friends, you begin to question what's next after eight years with little progress.

What is a relationship these days?

I've heard of two people being best friends with an intimate side that's full blown commitment.
I've heard of two people just being together because it works.
I've heard of two people hooking up off and on for months at a time before things start getting more personal and intimate.
I've heard of people being friends for a long time and then everything changes.

And I've heard that being in a relationship in the very early stages can make that euphoric feeling seem never-ending, and in the later stages, it's just a smooth calm sea of trust and understanding.

Just some food for thought I guess. I've had this question broiling in my mind for a couple weeks now, and I'm just curious what everyone else has to say about the subject. What is a relationship?

[Jake]

Here's a rhetorical answer A relationship isn't just define by emotion, whether you like or dislike someone you still have a relationship with them. In a rough definition a relationship is:

The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

In the case of a love relationship the rules changes and they are personal and of course one has to define what kind of relationship they want or have. I have few points of what I consider to be a love/friend relationship. You may not agree, it's fine.

• have the freedom to speak for yourself, freedom to follow your desires and the freedom to make your own choices, while you are enjoying the relation with a bondage of friendship. Being in a relation means a balance between the freedom and bondage.
  
  
• giving and getting time.
  
  
• be patient. Accepting your partner with his/her imperfections, needs patience.
  
  
• sharing feelings, emotions, finances, thoughts, words and actions enables you to spend some quality time.
  
  
• being with your partner makes you stronger. When someone believes in you, when someone motivates you, inspires you, strengthens you, then you realize what being in a relationship really means. And yes it doesn't necessarily have to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, it can be just a friend or a family member.
  
  
• being in a relationship means being yourself. Everyone is different and being in a relation allows you to celebrate the mutual difference! I personally do not refer to my husband as being my better half, he's not half his a complete being and with my complete being we form one entity. I don't want Alex to be like me or me be like him otherwise what's the point of being in a love relationship if all you care about is yourself. Might as well date a mirror.
  

Relationship isn't understood the same way by everyone, per example; someone in a love/distant relationship will consider themselves in a relationship and they are right to see it that way if it works for them, but too many will claim that a relationship means to be together 24/7, which is totally false. Few bad points that tarnish relationships are:

Lack of progression in the relationship. Relationship is like a car, if you do not provide it with gasoline it will go nowhere, you may put it on neutral and try to push it, it will work for a while but not for long because at the end there's only one person that push and he/she will get tired at some point and let it go. Relationship between two person is pretty much the same analogy; if an individual doesn’t see a relationship as progressive or developmental and is not willing to put energy into propelling a relationship into maturity then it is obvious the person is not ready for something real.

Take take take while giving very little or practically nothing: those individual are always after something, and these could be what they could benefit or take from the relationship rather than offer to it. They really do not want to make any sacrifices that could consume or make them more involved. Giving something to a relationship sucks to them while taking makes them feel they are in control. i.e. a bottom/top relationship, bottoming often requires a lot of preparation and sometimes the bottom may not feel up to it, but the top only sees penetration as the epitome of their sexual intercourse, indirectly that's a take example since there's so much more than just ass fucking when having sex.

Past dwellers: - "Oh, I have been in so much destructive relationship before." or "I have not been in a relationship" FALSE unless you truly have no friends, you have been in relationship and a love relationship is pretty much like any other relationship between two persons, only with more benefits. By being friend with someone, you are in a friendly relationship with that person, you like that person, but just not the same way you would toward a love partner but the basic of relationship applies to those as well.

Distant and elusive: They appear vague about what they really want from a relationship. Basically they do not have a clarity about what they want and being elusive about it keeps such commitment at bay.

Been hurt so many times: they haven't dealt with previous relationship or they feel the other person in the relationship may be out to betray and hurt them so they try to play it safe and hide behind the cloak of mistrust and disbelief.

They want to be free: They cherish freedom and wouldn’t want that freedom or independence to be upset by anyone. They see a real relationship as a hindrance to being free and doing those things they like.

That's my take on relationship

[strider65]

I guess what I would say is someone you enjoy hanging out with, as trite as that may sound... someone who you can hang out with and joke at how crazy the world is, talk about the shit you went through growing up and how happy you are now to have gotten through it. wake up at 6 am and say damn dude that sunrise is fucking beautiful and grin. somebody you feel completely comfortable with and sex is a bonus but not the whole point. guess we are all individuals

[strider65]

I myself like to cuddle probably more than well, you know