Think i'm in love with my straight friend. Help!

[scidork]

So, I've heard about this happening to other guys before, but it's never happened to me. But, I think I've fallen for a straight friend, and now I don't know what to do!

The guy - he's beautiful, kind, and I enjoy hanging out with him. I know he cares for me, too, but he so very private with everything. Honestly, he reminds me of myself back when I hid being gay. Personally, I think he's extremely closeted. Though, I never asked if he's gay, but I've heard him tell other people that he is not. So, I have to believe what he says.

Regardless, whether he is truly gay or not, he's not out to me, and he knows I'm gay, so clearly he's not interested in anything more than a friendship with me. Right?

That said, he has several gay friends. And as he and I have gotten closer and spent more time together, I found my self getting jealous when I see him texting the other guys I know are openly gay. He's even gone and stayed weekends with groups of other friends of his who I know are all openly gay as well. I'm actually convinced that he's secretly seeing one of them - though I doubt he'd ever tell me.

So, I'm left not knowing what to do. Do I tell him how I feel? Risk freaking him out and losing his friendship? Or, just let it go?

This really sucks!

[Confuzzled4]

Oh boy another one of these, and sorry I don't mean that to be condescending. I had my own situation in the past and it did not go well. But do you really have reason to believe that this person is gay? Spending time with gay people is hardly any indication of a person's sexuality. I would definitely say do not tell him how you feel at this point, or really any point unless you know that he's gay for sure. Assuming he is gay, he's not open enough for you to pursue him. Forcing someone when they're not ready, or when they're outright straight does not go over well. Remain friends, but move on. I've learned it's best to go after people who are openly gay.

[LJay]

Fretting over what may or may not be is of no use. Sit down with this person in private and tell him you are having trouble with your feelings for him. Then ask him if he is comfortable continuing your acquaintance or if he feels it would be better to maintain distance. If he says all is OK as is, then live with it. If he says that he prefers to keep distance, then live with that and tell him you respect his feelings and that he is free to make contact later if he wishes. In the meantime, send yourself elsewhere. These things are hard, but you simply must deal with them directly and immediately.

[JCasey]

As long as he identifies as straight, you have no chance with him in the romance department. IF he does come out as gay, there is a HUGE possibility that you may not be his type. Sure he likes you as a friend, but that doesn't translate into romantic or sexual attraction.

Enjoy your friendship if you can without it being weird. If, by some chance, things evolve, great, but don't expect it to happen.

[bryyzy]

Just be happy he is your friend. Like everyone has said before me. Just because he has gay friends, its np guarantee that he is gay. The more you dwell on him, the more paranoid it will make you so the best thing to do is admit defeat and move on. I was in that boat myself and it did me no good because I saw him get engaged to his gf and it killed me a bit inside of course but be happy he is your friend because nothing is worse than losing a friend over assumptions. You will find someone who you will enjoy being with. Just never let it be a friend. I learnt that the hard way and it isn't worth it. Go out to the world and see whats on offer. And you will find someone who's right for you.

[gayboyindia24]

Better tell him your feelings coz more u hide, more it becomes difficult..if he is not interested, no matter what you do,he would never fall for you.

[knickerbuck]

if your friend says that he is straight, there is nothing that you can do about it, love is as strong as death, he might love his girlfriend more than he loves you ..

[matty7]

that was a lot of trouble to post here - but why just one post ? nor reply's what so ever

[princealbertofb]

that was a lot of trouble to post here - but why just one post ? nor reply's what so ever

The original poster may have posted on more than one site, or he may have had an answer to his quandary in the meantime or any number of other assumptions. We'll see if he returns to keep us posted. He may also have forgotten he ever posted on this site or have forgotten his password. Don't worry about it [MENTION=18997]matty7[/MENTION].

[Insertnamehere]

[MENTION=23515]scidork[/MENTION]

Drop it. Right now.

For your own sake. You are not going to get anything out of this as long as he identifies himself as straight. Nothing is going to happen. The sooner you realize it and move on from him, the better for you, the less pain you'll go through, the greater a favor you'll be doing to yourself.

Go out there and find a nice gay dude that will like you back, focus on anything else but him.