Meeting a married man

[NativeSon]

You certainly don't have to go out and fuck a married guy to learn about heartache. Though I suppose it could help to stack the deck in your favor.

[Camfer]

I'm referring to "karma." "Karma" is bull shit. I said exactly what I meant: Whether your do or don't have sex with this man has no cause-effect bearing on whether or not someone will cheat on you in the future.

Well that is not an accurate understanding of karma, [MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] . Karma is about momentum of actions. Your past actions influence your current choices. Your past and current choices influence your future choices.

Karma doesn't mean if you steal $10, then later in life someone will steal $10 from you, in some sort of cosmic accounting system. Karma means that if you steal $10 and get away with it, you are ever so slightly more apt to steal again.

In the example above, the action of [MENTION=21000]verysimple[/MENTION] choosing to have (or not to have) sex with a married man will influence his future choices when a similar opportunity arises. Either choice influences who he is to some degree. It's owning your actions and experiencing the consequences of these actions. You might not call that karma, but that is very clearly a karmic choice as I understand it.

Maybe a better example for you Mike is working out. The fact that you have worked out in the past means you are more likely to go to the gym and work out again. Your past habits influence today's choice to go to the gym or not. That is karma at work in your life. Whether or not you want to label this momentum as karma or not, I expect you recognize that your past choices influence your present choices. Call it what you want.

[verysimple]

Here's an update:

We just met. We made out. But that was it. I told him I have a problem that he is married and I won't go down a road where it will end miserable and bloody. He is married cuz it was arranged. He always tries to avoid it just so that he can be happy. Makes no sense to me. It's like living next to a pile of shit. You see it, you smell it, but you keep saying "oh, nothing's wrong here. I'm fine and I'm happy" he told me he was happy with his marriage life but I knew he was lying cuz he just doesn't wanna deal with it and his dad forced him to get married. We connected and I felt happy with him but fuck it, I'm too desperate and it never helps to be too desperate like this.

Anywho, I did the right thing. I'm not a home wrecker and I never intended to be. I just liked the fact that we connected with each other and I still do.
Oh he told me he lied about his name and he also told me he was having casual sex with other 5 people approaximately!! Hahaha fuck.

He also told me I think too much. Cuz of the way I delivered what I told him. And maybe he's right, who knows?! I do think a lot of everything But I disagreed and told him I don't at all. If I did I wouldn't have met him but because I come from a broken home I know how bad it is and how much the family will suffer. And I wouldn't have any of this on me or be any part of it.

[verysimple]

I just blocked him. And I'll never contact him again. Thank you all for your support and concern.
Much love guys.

[MikeW]

... Whether or not you want to label this momentum as karma or not, I expect you recognize that your past choices influence your present choices. Call it what you want.

Yeah, but that's not "karma".

kar·ma

ˈkärmə
noun
(in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.
informal
destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

i.e., magical thinking; aka bullshit.

[Darius]

I just blocked him. And I'll never contact him again. Thank you all for your support and concern.
Much love guys.

If you are tempted to give him another try, just think about his family, especially his children. These kinds of guys always think no one will ever discover their secret, but they are found out and the innocent ones are the ones that get hurt. You were once one of the innocent ones.

[verysimple]

If you are tempted to give him another try, just think about his family, especially his children. These kinds of guys always think no one will ever discover their secret, but they are found out and the innocent ones are the ones that get hurt. You were once one of the innocent ones.

Yea, I was.. "once" but not anymore. Thank god!

Whatever with him. I'm glad I didn't get involved in this messed up shit

[TwisttheLeaf]

Oh he told me he lied about his name and he also told me he was having casual sex with other 5 people approaximately!! Hahaha fuck.

He also told me I think too much.

I just blocked him. And I'll never contact him again. Thank you all for your support and concern.
Much love guys.

I definitely think that you dodged a bullet, man. I'm glad you know yourself well enough to have reasoned out what feels right for you.

Yeah, but that's not "karma".

kar·ma

ˈkärmə
noun
(in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.
informal
destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

i.e., magical thinking; aka bullshit.

You know that you're just kind of shitting all over people's religious beliefs here, right? Many could say the same thing as you have, but about God, or about prayer, or... about almost any religious belief or tenet.

It's kind of.... seriously offensive.

That said, I'm sure you realize it and it's probably intentional. You seem to have been in a sour mood for a few days now. Not sure why, but if someone pissed in your cheerios, or shit's going on that has you feeling more rough around the edges than normal, I'm sorry to hear it (or rather, not hear it, as the case may be).

[MikeW]

...You know that you're just kind of shitting all over people's religious beliefs here, right? Many could say the same thing as you have, but about God, or about prayer, or... about almost any religious belief or tenet.

It's kind of.... seriously offensive.

That said, I'm sure you realize it and it's probably intentional. You seem to have been in a sour mood for a few days now. Not sure why, but if someone pissed in your cheerios, or shit's going on that has you feeling more rough around the edges than normal, I'm sorry to hear it (or rather, not hear it, as the case may be).

Yes, people believe all kinds of crazy bullshit. Wouldn't you agree?

As for piss in my cheerios, I'm just at the point where I realize life is too short for bullshit. For you young people, you must feel you have all the time in the world for bullshit -- other people's and your own -- or even believe in it yourself. For me? I can see the twinkle in the grim reaper's eye. No time for bullshit.

[MikeW]

...It's kind of.... seriously offensive. ...

I thought I was finished but realized I had more to say about this.

Let me ask you this question, [MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION], why is anyone speaking their own truth, that is, the truth as they see it, experience it, believe it... and doing so directly, emphatically, "offensive" at all... let alone "seriously offensive"?

Cleary I didn't say "Karma is bullshit and anyone who believes it is a stupid dumb ass mother fucker." THAT would be seriously offensive. No, I just said "Karma is bullshit". And that is a statement of my opinion. That's all it is. An emphatic statement of my opinion. If you or anyone else finds it "seriously offensive" for me to state my opinion, well, frankly, that's YOUR problem. Not mine.

Personally, I BELIEVE all kinds of things. All kinds of things other people see as utter bullshit. I know this for a demonstrable fact. In fact, I'm probably more of a Hindu than most people who call themselves Hindus. Be that a it may, what I believe is my Truth. I know it is MY Truth. I'm not putting it out there as something everyone else has to believe in or even respect. I know it is the Truth for me. I don't care whether you or anyone else believes it. I don't need other people to validate it. I *know* what is True for me. It's in my heart, at the very core of my being. It is, to me, more real than *I* am. ("I" -- that voice inside my head that thinks he's so smart or thinks he is important or who easily takes offense at other people's words and behaviors? ... just a figment of my imagination... no reality beyond my brain whatever.)

In this particular instance, in this particular thread, I chose to play the devil's advocate. Chose to take the position that an ADULT can choose to do whatever he wishes. An adult chooses and then ACCEPTS the consequences of his actions. OF COURSE every action has consequences. Every action. But, THAT is not *specifically* the meaning of "Karma".... the specific meaning of karma is a *direct* cause-to-effect relationship between one action and a consequence at a temporal distance (perhaps lifetimes away). THAT is what I am saying is "bullshit". It negates the very possibility of free will... of adult choice... of being responsible for one's actions.

But explanations aside, so what if I or anyone finds "Karma" to be "bullshit"? Why is that "offensive"? The way I look at it? Anyone who finds a clear expression of opinion contrary to their own about ideas (i.e., not a direct personal attack) "offensive" wold benefit from examining WHY they feel this way. If you know what is true, then there is no need to defend that truth. You can choose to defend it, of course. But Truth by its very nature needs no defense. Truth is unassailable. The very fact that I might feel the need to defend it suggests I doubt its Truth.

I'll only add one further philosophical point: Truth and Fact are not equal. It is a fact that Karma (direct trans-temporal cause-to-effect) is bullshit. That doesn't mean the IDEA of Karma has no Truth value. Quite the contrary. Like so many things of a religious nature, Karma has a truth value that is BEYOND fact. But to understand what this means, one has to have knowledge that surpasses that of this world.